any comebacks for the 'small plane' comment?

[Photoflight]

how about....yah, we bring the shortbus for the special people like you!

 

[speedrunner]

my favorite is--at least they didn't charge you extra for being fat/ugly...haven't got to use it yet, i still have some bills to pay

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

just tell them "it's got props, real airplanes have them"

Props are for boats....

 

[FlyingDawg]

These are awesome!

In all seriousness, though. Has anyone ever had any work repercussions from using any of these comments? Gotten called into the CPs office?

LAXSaabdude.

I once told a "its small" passenger that the next aircraft going was larger. They asked if they could take it and I stated yes just go inside and ask the gate agent to book them on the next flight. The flight was from PIT to IPT on a SF340. The next flight was also on a company SF340. I never heard anything from the company, but I expected it.

 

[blott]

Heard FA tell pax "don't worry, you'll be sitting down for the whole flight."

 

[Spinn555]

Props are for boats....

Jets are for Hot tubs!

 

[rubberducky]

While I was flying the CRJ;

ORD GND: "United xxx follow the CRJ from your right"
UAL xxx: "We'll follow the Barbie Jet"
Me: "Its better than a bankrupt Jet"

 

[DC8 Flyer]

I actually enjoy it when Pax come on a say this plane is small. Keeps me on my toes with come backs.
Here are a few I've used/wished I could use.

Pax: OMG this its so small!

Reply:

"You get what you pay for"
"Just dont look down when you flush the toilet"
"Thats what Payne Stewart said!"
"Sorry to bother you. but do you have a credit card to help pay for gas?"
"The plane or your brain?"

saying "thats not avery nice thing to say" while glancing down at my crotch
"It might be small but it hits all the right places"

"We might not have PTV's in every seat but at least the captains flying skills will keep you entertained"
"Dont worry, as long as you dont make any sudden movements you wont upset the plane"
"Pretend to have a real job and this is your own private jet"
"We might not get you high but at least youll get a buzz"
"We can rebook you on the 250am 767 flight through ATL if you like...."
"No soup for you!"

DRW

OH GAWD YES! I'm using it next time!

 

[ATRedneck]

"Hey, do I come to your place of business and make fun of your lawnmower?"

 

[goathead]

Jobear said, "...I had to go twist the rubber bands otherwise we are never gonna get outta here."

You think that is funny, but in 96' I was flying the Jetstream 31. After each leg we would go out and spin the prop by hand 15-20 rotations in order to cool the shaft of the Garrett.

When the pax asked if you wound the rubber bands it was because they saw you doing it from the terminal window!

A guy I flew with flew the J-31 and when paxs would ask him if we was winding the rubber bands he would reply, "yeah, and you don't look like you've missed to many meals so I'd better give it a couple more."

 

[-9Capt]

A little off the topic but...

A few months ago, while waiting for the jetway to be pulled up, a guy was giving me sh!t over a firm landing. He had a few in him and was acting like a big shot infront of his business class buddys. Insted of explaining how we are required to auto-land once a month to maintain currency, I said "Sir, when I pull up to the drive-thru do I give you a hard time when you're at work?". His buddys thought it was funny.

 

[DX Rick]

It's only small when its parked next to your wifes a$$

 

[Cardinal]

6. Your little girl sure has a pretty mouth.....

That's by far the most hilariously disturbing thing I've read on these boards in 3 years.

 

[EMB145XR]

At the end of a long day and hearing the "small plane" comments on a number of our other turns that day, another pax decided he'd be funny and ask if he could fly on something bigger to our destination of Alexandria, LA. The CA had heard enough of it and turned to the redneck passenger and just said cooly, "Sir, you go to a sh!tty destination, you get a sh!tty plane."

And with that, the guy turned around and took his seat.

 

[ATTCS]

In the early 90's as an FO loading a Metro at BWI 3 little Grandma's came out towards the plane. They were chattering away about the 'cute little airplane' and were obviously on a holiday and having a ball. They boarded and next the 20 year old 'football hero' type came out, turned & asked the ticket agent loudly if there were something bigger going to BOS, our destination. One Grandma leaned out and asked, "Whats the matter sonny, chicken?" Embarrassed the hell out of him he turned around and went back. I lost it then and my Captain and the gate agent also lost it.

Found out a week later the guy went to BOS via DTW.

 

[moscowcfi]

To a Canadian passenger:

This is the biggest plane your country makes.

 

[DashTrash400]

Somewhat related:

Back in Horizon's Metro days, there was a flight boarding at Sun Valley when a guy came out grumbling about the size of the airplane. The FO made some smartass retort, which only infuriated the guy. "Don't you know who I am!?"

The FO said, "Sir, let me show you something." He took the guy around the nose of the airplane, pointed at the gulfstreams & citations across the field, and said "if you were anyone worth knowing, you'd be flying in one of those!"

 

[blackbox]

To a Canadian passenger:

This is the biggest plane your country makes.

Haha, thats pretty funny. I may have to use that one.


A few years back, before I got into flying, My friend and I were boarding a plane and she got in looked down the aisle and said "oh, its a small plane". I think it caught the F/A off guard and she replied, "its a medium size plane". We were boarding a Jetblue A320!!

 

[blackbox]

Somewhat related:

Back in Horizon's Metro days, there was a flight boarding at Sun Valley when a guy came out grumbling about the size of the airplane. The FO made some smartass retort, which only infuriated the guy. "Don't you know who I am!?"

The FO said, "Sir, let me show you something." He took the guy around the nose of the airplane, pointed at the gulfstreams & citations across the field, and said "if you were anyone worth knowing, you'd be flying in one of those!"

I heard this story so cant dont know how true it is but it went like this......

People were lining up to board the plane and then a man walked up to the front of the line and the gate agent told him he has to get in line. His response was

"do you know who I am?"

so she went on the PA system and asked everyone
"Does anyone know who this man is?"

he was pissed and said

"F*ck you"

and she replied, "you have to stand in line for that too"

 

[Rex Kramer]

My wife keeps telling me that size doesn't matter.

 

[dollacrackho]

for insurance ,if we crash less people die

 

[PBRstreetgang]

Hey,
How 'bout "This airplane costs more than the entire trailer park you live in"
Used it and it works like a charm.
PBR

 

[slomo]

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.