Annoying things your CA/FO does, 2011 version

[Uncle Bunkle]

Move your giant feed bag/laptop case from the middle of the cockpit.
Quit briefing every freaking detail on the chart for a visual approach.
To the fat slobs: Lose some weight.
Just read the checklist responses, quit adding all your added nonsense to it.
Why are you afraid to tell ATC we will be deviating for WX?
Are you really wearing cowboy boots?

 

[higney85]

Only 1 really gets me (literally)... Guys eating Tuna.. That smell turns my stomach. I normally don't say anything but do turn the gaspers toward the other guy.

 

[wild bill kelso]

I hate them all!! Don't matter what they do!

 

[gojo]

I hate them all!! Don't matter what they do!

Oh, if only all of us were perfect......

 

[Gobi Gred]

Guys (or gals) who act like they are too good for this job. Okay I get it, you want to move on, don't we all? But that doesn't mean you have to be a slack a** while you're here. Jesus some of you guys would have never made it in this business 20 years ago when your first job wasn't right seat in a RJ, it was flying for some crappy 135 operator single pilot and if you were lucky then you got picked up by a "commuter" airline flying turboprops. 95% of the FOs I fly with do an outstanding job and I couldn't do my job without them. But the other 5% for gods sake get off your cell phone, put down the USA today, quit screwing with the iPad and do your damn job.

 

[Flyer1015]

Agree with the food and laptop bags. In the CRJ, there's hardly any room in the middle where some pilots elect to put it. One time while trying to get out of my seat, I damn near twisted my ankle trying to maneuver around that thing. Next time, I'm just gonna step on it if you can't take the second to put that crap behind your seat.

But I think the biggest pet peeve is guys who just don't think before committing to an action. The fast ballers, the loose cannons, or the ones who just lack ADM.

 

[prtyprtyprncss]

These things happen to me also...I have developed a foolproof method of dealing with them...ready? Here it is...


"Hey, can you put that bag behind your seat? It's in the way where it is...thanks!"
"Hey, you need to hang up now, I'd like to get the checklist out of the way."
"Center, we just took 10 left for a buildup." (If your Capt/FO doesn't say it, YOU say it!).

This works every time and saves no end of ranting on a forum where it'll change NOTHING!

 

[acaTerry]

Nose pickers!!!!

 

[NWaviator]

1. Asking for shortcuts without talking it over.
2. Saying we don't need to deviate for WX we will be fine. Captain took us through a TS because the radar was "just" showing yellow at FL350. We were in clouds so we just had the radar and i kept asking him to ask for 10 RT/LT.
3. Not flying a cruise airspeed when we are doing a blovk or better trip.

 

[PeanuckleCRJ]

Guys with gel in their hair and people that don't fly standard. The one and only way is by the book.

 

[Kaman]

Move your giant feed bag/laptop case from the middle of the cockpit.
That is one thing that annoys the heck out of me...
Quit briefing every freaking detail on the chart for a visual approach.
Not a problem with me if it is an SOP requirement to do so...
To the fat slobs: Lose some weight.
Or please pass the Indian food buffet by.
Just read the checklist responses, quit adding all your added nonsense to it.
Agreed
Why are you afraid to tell ATC we will be deviating for WX?
Afraid??? WTF???
Are you really wearing cowboy boots?

As a matter of fact, YES I am wearing Truck Driver boots to be exact with a chemical resistant/skid-proof sole...Gotta F***'in problem with that Skip?

 

[Kaman]

Only 1 really gets me (literally)... Guys eating Tuna.. That smell turns my stomach. I normally don't say anything but do turn the gaspers toward the other guy.

The Starkist yellowtail marinated in garlic infused olive oil is REALLY yummy...Maybe, if I decide to cross the "fence" I will share it with you Really good on crackers with some Chipotle Tabasco sauce too...AND, if you are really nice to me and let me fly a leg...I will share my smoked oysters with you too

 

[chimichanga]

Running off to smoke on every turn, then stinking up the whole cockpit with his cadaver breath.

 

[Dumb Pilot]

All of you gen Xrs just want to make meuke:

 

[homerjdispatch]

Move your giant feed bag/laptop case from the middle of the cockpit.
Quit briefing every freaking detail on the chart for a visual approach.
To the fat slobs: Lose some weight.
Just read the checklist responses, quit adding all your added nonsense to it.
Why are you afraid to tell ATC we will be deviating for WX?
Are you really wearing cowboy boots?

Im going to start a thread on flightinfo...

 

[Mr Wu]

"I'm grabbing a coffee, you want one?"

"Sure, I'll have a double shot skinny caramel machiato."

"F*** off"

 

[RJLoser]

"I'm grabbing a coffee, you want one?"

"Sure, I'll have a double shot skinny caramel machiato."

"F*** off"

Maybe some day you will explore the finer things. I always buy my own though.

 

[Abernathy]

My only real pet peeve is lazy Captains. Let me elaborate:

We're on a turn, and I get the walkaround (let's say it's raining). I come back inside, get the ATIS, copy the Clearance (or PDC if avail). I look at the FMS and it hasn't been touched. Captain wideload is in the back snacking on chips on his cell phone. I program the FMS and the cargo load shows up. Captain goes "here"..

10 minutes into the flight, I look over, and the jerk is asleep.

That, on every leg of a 4 day trip, is extremely annoying. And unfortunately, it's quite common here.

 

[regionalcap]

"I'm grabbing a coffee, you want one?"

"Sure, I'll have a double shot skinny caramel machiato."

"F*** off"

I asked flight attendant last week if she wanted a coffee. She wanted something like that...$5... here you go. YGBSM

 

[e=mc2]

"I'm grabbing a coffee, you want one?"

"Sure, I'll have a double shot skinny caramel machiato."

"F*** off"
===========================================================
Perfect response!

 

[asayankee]

FO's who try and drive an unnecessarily quick pace.....makes me crazy. We're not even off the ramp, no need to start briefing the departure and running takeoff checks already. I'll ask for it when I'm ready and workload is appropriate.

Unless we're on fire....SLOW DOWN. Not interested in how fast you can do things

 

[COOPERVANE]

My only real pet peeve is lazy Captains. Let me elaborate:

We're on a turn, and I get the walkaround (let's say it's raining). I come back inside, get the ATIS, copy the Clearance (or PDC if avail). I look at the FMS and it hasn't been touched. Captain wideload is in the back snacking on chips on his cell phone. I program the FMS and the cargo load shows up. Captain goes "here"..

10 minutes into the flight, I look over, and the jerk is asleep.

That, on every leg of a 4 day trip, is extremely annoying. And unfortunately, it's quite common here.

LOTS of FO's doing this too

 

[Abernathy]

I asked flight attendant last week if she wanted a coffee. She wanted something like that...$5... here you go. YGBSM

When I offer to pick up coffees for the crew, I don't ask what kind. I'm getting you black coffee. There's sugar and cream on the plane if you need it. If you want a double-whipped soy caramal hop-scotch hot fudge sundae flavored coffee-drink with sprinkles and glitter, (A) unless you're a girl, is that a joke and (B) get it yourself.

 

[tomgoodman]

The best way to keep someone from repeatedly pushing your "annoy" button is to keep its location secret. Exhibit a fake button and let them wear their finger out while you chuckle.

 

[taters]

No doubt about the cows in the cockpit now..how do you guys hold a medical at 350 lbs?

 

[CorpCaptain]

Got one at our company, Check Airman thats 285pds in a Lear. He told me the other day he's on the Atkins. He ordered a triple decker burger from Wendy's and took off the lettuce and tomato. LOL. Gross, but incredibly funny.

 

[say again]

When the flying pilot just jumps on the radios just to hear himself. Hey, if you want the radios just say so...I have no issues watching you do all the work.

 

[Abernathy]

Got one at our company, Check Airman thats 285pds in a Lear. He told me the other day he's on the Atkins. He ordered a triple decker burger from Wendy's and took off the lettuce and tomato. LOL. Gross, but incredibly funny.

What would also be incredibly funny is if he were a member of this board!

 

[whatitdoing?]

Nose pickers!!!!

You should see the "diseases" at CAL that dig for gold. I had one to BOG that literally mined for 3 hours. I was busy with my maps out since I've never been down there. All those escape routes and I look over to see this tool digging for gold. Oh well right? Well, I'm looking at the tubes and I see something flick on the screen. I then noticed him flicking his boogers and one landed on my screen. I got one of those wipes and trying to hold back my vomit as I smeared it on my screen. I was so pissed. This Capt had yellow stains under his shirt and looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks. Of course, he was going down to visit his little chicka in BOG. Next morning, he put his left leg up on that foot rest below the CRT tubes and turned the gasper vent to cool his nuts. I smelled a combo of disease and urine for several hours. The only thing that prevented me from throwing up is putting a handy wipe in my hand and sticking it under my nose. Disgusting people...........

 

[Stifler's Mom]

LOTS of FO's doing this too

Lazy FOs, become lazy Captains.

How about NOT flying the airplane like you just stole it and are now taking it for a joyride. Landing on a 9,000 foot runway, and then jamming on the brakes and reverses to try and make the first reverse high-speed isn't impressive. Greasing it on 3,000 feet down the runway doesn't constitute a good landing either.

Going from 0 to full spoilers in less than 1/2 second is not comfortable for the passengers.

Climbing at 320kts and 500 fpm through 10K feet doesn't really get us there faster. It only makes me have to worry about our fuel.

Fly the airplane, keeping in mind you have passengers onboard.