Annoying things your CA/FO does, 2011 version

[CA1900]

Pilots who check onto a frequency without using their callsign, at the speed of an auctioneer.

It's guys who check in without listening for a second that drive me f***ing insane. How can you fly for 30 years and still not learn to wait a second?

 

[looking_down]

You should see the "diseases" at CAL that dig for gold. I had one to BOG that literally mined for 3 hours. I was busy with my maps out since I've never been down there. All those escape routes and I look over to see this tool digging for gold. Oh well right? Well, I'm looking at the tubes and I see something flick on the screen. I then noticed him flicking his boogers and one landed on my screen. I got one of those wipes and trying to hold back my vomit as I smeared it on my screen. I was so pissed. This Capt had yellow stains under his shirt and looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks. Of course, he was going down to visit his little chicka in BOG. Next morning, he put his left leg up on that foot rest below the CRT tubes and turned the gasper vent to cool his nuts. I smelled a combo of disease and urine for several hours. The only thing that prevented me from throwing up is putting a handy wipe in my hand and sticking it under my nose. Disgusting people...........

I can't stop laughing!!!!!

 

[JettBoii]

Keep your fat fingers off the fms glass, the eicas glass and the ryu glass.

Clean up your got damn mess.

Quit f'ing ripping off the second loop of the gray trashbag around my armrest; I leave it like that so stuff doesn't spill and my foot doesn't get caught in it when I get out of the cockpit.

Please please please don't tell me standard when the first f'ing thing you do is yap or text on taxi out.

Please don't call me on stupid stuff with a non company fed on the jumpseat;ie glideslope and vgsi are not coincident. Yes I am flying the papi,vasi whatever.

I had some turd call me on thrust reverser usage in Atlanta. Stfu

When you are done put your dirty company headset away;don't leave it for me to put away.

Please leave 3A on. You know why.

07:00 is our show time not our van time. I know it's a 10 minute ride but come on; that 5 minutes isn't going to do your sorry arsenal good anyways.

Please don't cry about my lunchkit on the floor; it's not going to get in the way of an egress.

And you wonder why you keep getting the elevator room.

My phones off how about yours?

Anyone else?

 

[wmuflyguy]

Had a guy carry a print out the entire listing of Rush Limbaugh affiliates and he would insist on dialing it in the ADF and listening to it on turns over the speaker. I'd rather listen to the FA talk about her cat. I did the longest walk arounds ever that trip.

 

[BEfly]

It's guys who check in without listening for a second that drive me f***ing insane. How can you fly for 30 years and still not learn to wait a second?

I hate that. I listen to that go on all day and sooo many people do it. I think they are either affraid they will forget to check on or are just lazy...or both.

 

[BEfly]

oh just remembered another one.... Resting their hand on the Gear or Flap handle 25 miles out.

WHEN I WANT IT, I'LL CALL FOR IT!!!!!!!!

IF YOU THINK WE NEED IT....ASK ME!!!

 

[say again]

oh just remembered another one.... Resting their hand on the Gear or Flap handle 25 miles out.

WHEN I WANT IT, I'LL CALL FOR IT!!!!!!!!

IF YOU THINK WE NEED IT....ASK ME!!!

Haha, almost forgot about this one.

 

[say again]

Turning the YD off at 5000' when the winds are a blowing.

 

[Flyer1015]

oh just remembered another one.... Resting their hand on the Gear or Flap handle 25 miles out.

WHEN I WANT IT, I'LL CALL FOR IT!!!!!!!!

IF YOU THINK WE NEED IT....ASK ME!!!

Ha, mine too. One time, a loooong time ago, on a long 23 mile final to DTW, we were slowed to 160 kts. Since we were still 20+ miles out, there was no need for gear, so I kept Flaps 30, gear up, until we'd get much closer. At around 17 miles or so, ATC asked us to slow up to slowest practical. Once I heard it, I would have called gear down, and once green, flaps 45. The CA, *before* even reading back the instruction, and obviously before me saying anything, he slaps the flaps to 45. Now the gear horn is blaring cause we're full flaps and no gear. I have a 'wtf' look on my face, while the CA reads back the instruction yellin over the gear horn. Once he's done, he grabs the gear and throws it. Gee, thanks pal. This CA is notorious for wanting to be rude at ATC, and at one point, he told me to yell at ATC (no joke). I told him I will not yell, but I can say something politely to ATC if he'd like. He said, no, "there's no point then."

Yeah, pet peeve.

 

[skypine69]

I hate when FO's wake me up to ask me what we should do about the thunderstorm at 12 o'clock and 20 miles.

 

[glasspilot]

Hey, I only put my hand on the gear lever 20 out as an aid to help me remember to make sure it goes down. Plus, it may help prompt my FO in case he forgot to put it down.

It's just a non-verbal que to the other guy of what I'm thinking about and a polite way to suggest what he should be thinking about. I've never actually forgotten the gear, mind you, and neither has my FO. I also know there are many systems to keep me from forgetting the gear. But it still seems like a good practice.

As a plus it helps my co-pilots identify me as a tool, because my barking about being standard while I fly my own personal procedures might not have been enough of a clue.

 

[airplane wizard]

You should see the "diseases" at CAL that dig for gold. I had one to BOG that literally mined for 3 hours. I was busy with my maps out since I've never been down there. All those escape routes and I look over to see this tool digging for gold. Oh well right? Well, I'm looking at the tubes and I see something flick on the screen. I then noticed him flicking his boogers and one landed on my screen. I got one of those wipes and trying to hold back my vomit as I smeared it on my screen. I was so pissed. This Capt had yellow stains under his shirt and looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks. Of course, he was going down to visit his little chicka in BOG. Next morning, he put his left leg up on that foot rest below the CRT tubes and turned the gasper vent to cool his nuts. I smelled a combo of disease and urine for several hours. The only thing that prevented me from throwing up is putting a handy wipe in my hand and sticking it under my nose. Disgusting people...........

At least he didn't unbutton his pants when he put his leg up on the foot rest.

 

[ehaecker]

Not so much CA/FO, but other pilots on freq:

You wait a few seconds to make sure you aren't stepping on someone, then check on:
"Good afternoon Minneapolis Center, SKW6340 FL340."

Before center even has a second to begin their acknowledgment:

"Delta's 340 three nine oh"

I think that is my biggest pet peeve. Wait your f**king turn!

 

[Flyer1015]

Guys who say, "There's no such thing as oh's. Just zeroes and oscars."

 

[79%N1]

How 'bout ironing your damn shirt once a four day!

 

[SBD]

Guys who wear baseball caps while flying.

 

[OPECJet]

Guys who say, "There's no such thing as oh's. Just zeroes and oscars."

Amen to that.

 

[ehaecker]

Guard Nazi's.

 

[cbrown1]

The people that try and change their voices on freq. They try and lower the pitch and add some rasp to try and sound like james earl jones. But end up sounding like boy george with a sore throat.

 

[dougdrvr]

Turning the YD off at 5000' when the winds are a blowing.

Try that in a 727