Gardner's picture & Bump in the Night
I got the old fella's picture too. But I really liked the message he sent with it. Here it is for those who haven't read it yet:
THINGS WHAT GOES BUMP IN THE NIGHT!
Howdy, folks. It be me again, the Ol’ Gardner. Well, sir, I doesn’t know ‘bout y’all, but I sure had me some fun over Halloween. Gave out lots’a candy and goodies to the young’ns all dressed up what come by the cabin askin’, “Trick or Treat?” I ‘specially enjoyed sharin’ a few gulps from the jug of my special homebrew with the folks what brung the little ones by. It sure took the night chill away, that be for sure! When I finally gots in bed, I heard lots’a noises what goes bump in the night outside the window. Must’a been some ghosts and goblins stayin’ out late, don’t y’know.
I seen my pilot friend in town the other day and he says it startin’ to heat up at this here outfit y’all flys for. He says the bosses be getting’ real desperate ‘cause they just can’t seem to get enough of their little jets up in the air. Seem like so many of ‘em be broke all the time and lots’a pilots been leavin’ to find better jobs elsewhere. I been told the bosses be hearin’ lots’a things what goes bump in the night ‘emselves ‘cause their planes not flyin’ too much and it be real quiet out.
Last time I writes, I told y’what I knowed ‘bout the big bosses’ lawyer threatenin’ to take your Union to the courthouse over those W.O.E. stickers what stands for “Withdrawal Of Enthusiasm.” The bosses probably be mad ‘cause those stickers says what be the truth. Instead'a tryin’a make things right and takin’ care to get ya flyers happy and sharin’ more of the comin’ harvest with y’all, the bosses doin’ all they can to make y'more unhappy and less 'thusiastic ‘bout helpin’ out ‘round the place. Who needs stickers to say what needs doin’ when the bosses be doin’ such a good job’a messin’ things up their ownselves? Lordy, lordy!
Well, sir, the pilot showed me a letter your Union sent answerin’ the threat. I read it real good. I knows I ain’t got much schoolin’, but even this ol’ country boy could figure out what be goin’ on. Simply put, your Union gots nothin’ to fear ‘cause it ain’t doin’ nothin’ wrong and you pilots ain’t doin nothin’ wrong, neither. Seems like the big bosses done accused pilots’a makin’ “false” reports ‘bout the way some under-bosses be ridin’ roughshod over y’all and askin’ ya to bend the rules. Instead’a woodsheddin’ these under-bosses for doin’ wrong things, the big bosses wantin’ to sweep it under the rug by sayin’ it just gots’ to be false, since it be again’ one’a their own. They also claimin’ pilots be sayin’ planes be broke when they not. What a crock’a horse hockey that be. If’n any pilot be sendin’ in false reports ‘bout anyone or not bein’ truthful when they write up broke parts in the 501 page book, I knows for sure your Union and the Sheriff be mighty interested in stoppin’ such foolishness dead in its tracks.
The letter I seen says your Union asked the big bosses to put up or shut up and show just what they be complainin’ ‘bout and who be doin’ all that complainin’. Other than a handful of W.O.E. and other stickers what be poppin’ up here and there, the big bosses wouldn’t or couldn’t come up with a single thing to hang their hats on. All they spouted were rumors. Y’know, I wouldn’t be too surprised if’n the big bosses be makin’ all this stuff up just tryin’ to get your Union in trouble. I played lots’a poker at the saloon in town in my younger days and I knows a bluff when I sees one. This threat by the big bosses’ lawyer be one of the most pitiful I ever did see. If’n he ever sits down to play cards with me, I’d sure have fun winnin’ his money away from him, don’t y’know. I just might share some homebrew with him while I be cleanin’ out his wallet.
The pilot then shows me ‘nother letter some big boss named Tyler write talkin’ bout what be goin’ on. I doesn’t know much ‘bout this here Tyler fella, other than I been told he calls hisself the V.P. of Flight Operations. But I gonna see what I can find out ‘bout his past. I hear tell it be real hard keepin’ secrets in the flyin’ community ‘cause it be so small and folks remember things gone wrong for quite a spell. I’ll for sure let y’all know what I learns. One thing I does know, there ain’t been much flight operations goin’ on lately at your outfit, so maybe he be thinkin’ ‘bout changin’ jobs.
Anyways, this here Tyler fella must be hurtin’ real bad, if’n I read his letter right. I guess your Union called the lawyer’s bluff real good, cause there ain’t no more mention ‘bout stickers and “false” reports and other such nonsense in his letter. But, it seems like this Tyler fella done gots it in his head y’all gonna be on a “sickout” November 8 ‘cause the number of your Union’s Local is 1108. Can y’believe it? Talk ‘bout things goin’ bump in the night! This here Tyler fella sure seein’ his own kind’a ghosts and goblins. Maybe he been in his Mason jar a bit too much over Halloween.
When I write y’all in the past, I let y’know I doesn’t want ya doin’ things be wrong. It be wrong to call in sickly when y’ain’t. But it also be wrong goin’ to work and flyin’ airplanes if’n ya be sickly. So, Brothers and Sisters, let me tell ya true. I doesn’t care what this here Tyler fella thinks or says. If’n November 8 comes along and you be sickly, y’shouldn’t be goin’ to work. All you’ll do is put your ownself at risk and your fellow workers might be catchin’ whatever kind’a creepin’ crud it is you gots. For sure that ain’t fair to no one.
Now, I be sure the bosses’ll probably want ya to go see the Doc so’s y’can get a note showin’ y’was truly sickly. That be OK. I remember havin’ to take notes to school showin’ I not out playin’ hooky when I be sickly. The bosses just wants to be sure y’ain’t playin’ hooky from work if’n y’calls in sickly. So, if’n y’can’t get Doc to give ya a note showin’ ya be sickly, the bosses probably be gunnin’ for y’come to the Cuyahoga County spread on a “CGF-1 Arrival.” I doesn’t think they’d take too kindly to folks who not be sickly but says they is. Rightly so. I’d sure keep that in mind.
Well, sir, I be headin’ to town to spend some time with my neighbors sittin’ ‘round the toasty pot-bellied stove in the general store tellin’ stories. Now that my memory been stirred a bit, I might even try to get up a game of poker. I sure do miss ‘em good times when I was foot loose’n fancy free. But, if’n I ain’t winnin’, I best not lose too much. The misses not be happy if’n she thinks I not takin’ good care of the family fortune, don’t y’know.
So, till next time I writes, y’all be safe in the skys and take good care of your ownselves and your families. The comin’ winter be especially harsh, but we be gettin’ through it all together. You and I and your Union and your Brothers and Sisters workin’ besides y’all, arm in arm. As always, remember to spread the word that the Ol’ Gardner out workin’ the fields at Flight Options. From what I seen and just read, I knows with your help, the harvest—it be comin’.
Your friend,
THE OL’ GARDNER.
PS. I hear tell some of y’all wants to see a picture of me so’s y’can come up and shakes my hand if’n y’sees me ‘round town or at the Cuyahoga County spread if’n I gets back up north. So, I be sendin’ one along with this here message. The misses says it doesn’t do me justice. She says I be a good deal handsomer in person. But, then again’, love be blind, don’t y’know.