Your posts make your intention in the use of "crazy" somewhat unclear; you use it as a badge of honor, calling yourself a "crazy ferry pilot," and yet tell us you're not that crazy..not crazy enough to fly a single engine airplane over the pacific. Apparently over the Atlantic is okay, just not the pacific.
You've told us before that you really want a corporate job; you want to be a corporate pilot, or to do something other than ferrying airplanes. You've lamented that you lack the experience to be qualified to apply for such positions. Hopefully at such time as you do have the requisite experience (assuming you survive), you won't list yourself as "crazy ferry pilot" on your resume...a resume which so far has two jobs on it, one of which isn't flying.
The truth is you don't have any other experience in aviation, and your qualification is that you bought your own airplane and flew it, and then started conning people into letting you fly theirs for delivery...at such time as you're in over your head, you don't have the experience to know you're there, yet throw yourself headlong into the fire anyway. You're proud of risk, which isn't an enviable or desireable attribute in a professional pilot. Your maturity level in your posts is reminiscent of a high school kid bragging to his friends, not a professional pilot.
At some point, something is going to have to happen to you which wakes you up, and we can only hope that you survive this wake-up call. The leap from where you are now mentally to where you need to be as a responsible, professional individual is a big one. From your posts, quite possibly a little too big. Don't hurt yourself trying to bridge that gulf, even if it's a female jungle gym waiting for you at the end of each leg. Long story short...grow up.
