You won't believe what I heard on ATC Frequency

[miles otoole]

Not maybe, I know for sure, I'm hispanic and I think you talk funny, but what I'm saying is that I haven't heard any pilot or controler making fun of the americans on mexican airspace.

What do you call a Mexican who marries your daughter? A Spaniard.

 

[front9]

SFO APP: Japan Air 61 Heavy verify you have information Hotel

JAL 61: Rojar, we going stay at ahhh... Holiday Inn

SFO APP: no sir, Japan Air 61 do...you...have...information...HOTEL

JAL 61: ahhh...yes sir, we have hotel phone number.... thank you...

SFO APP: .............

SFO APP: Japan Air 61(slight chuckle) contact tower 120.5 we'll see ya

 

[Flechas]

What do you call a Mexican who marries your daughter? A Spaniard.

What do you call your daughter if she marries a Mexican?

 

[front9]

what?

 

[FlyChicaga]

Qu'appelez-vous une colle française incendiaire?

 

[FlyChicaga]

Fromage, Saucisse, qui s'inquiète. Vous êtes les deux imbéciles.

Dites-moi mon ami français, combien de moteurs cet avion à vous a-t-il ?

 

[Flechas]

Fromage, Saucisse, qui s'inquiète. Vous êtes les deux imbéciles.

Hope it didn't take you this long to figure that out Matt....

 

[Metro752]

I knew Chicaga was a frenchman. That fancy education

 

[westwind driver]

This one is NOT a bash on the airlines....

Me: "Atlanta center, PartnerJet 293 thru FL210 climbing FL230, how's the ride climbing out ahead?"

ATC: "PartnerJet 293 Atlanta Center roger. C/m FL360 direct IGB, and as for the ride only the Delta's are complaining, so I'd take an educated guess and say it's smooth."

I couldn't believe it when I heard it.

Another one I heard the other day:

AAL123: "Jax center American 123 (forget actual flight #) checking in FL390, we're smooth."

ATC: "American 123, Jax center roger. Understand your flight conditions are smooth?"

AAL123: "Uh negative, I said WE, WE are smooth.

ATC: "Oh boy (laughter in the background) God help us.


It made me laugh... Obviously American was having a good time and was enjoying himself

 

[Q400 Gear Bitch]

A capt told me this one. I wasnt there...but I got a chuckle out of it.

They were in seattle waiting to blast off. The airport was down to one runway for whatever reason....so there was a bit of a backup for takeoff. So they're sitting there waiting. United checks on. Cleared to land. Launch Southwest. Delta checks on. Cleared to land. yadda yadda. The frequency breaks and this high pitched female voice announces "Seattle Tower, regional 123 over the mall for 34R". Now you know the type of voice. You can picture the girl. Probably 5 foot nothing. maybe 98 pounds soaking wet. And the voice to prove it. Tower clears her to land. A few seconds later someone pipes up on frequency..sounding very much like the tower; but with the tell tale cockpit humm in the background.

" Regional 123 be advized that it appears that you have a massive helium leak in the cockpit. You might want to check that out on the ground. "

I guess the tower guys were laughing so hard that he keyed the mike to say something...only to be replace by laughter in the background.