Wierd Capt / FO / FE

[AKAAB]

We have a few.

Thank God one of them is retiring on Friday! ::snip::

"Holy bananas! We're 20 minutes early. Is this anyway to run an airline? You bet it is".

Again, thank God he's retiring on Friday. I'll never have to fly with him again. Another one of the horrible hundred gone forever!

GP

Yeah, I skipped the party, too.

Not so sure about the "horrible hundred". I think you'll find the wildcards pretty much in the first three classes. After that, it's the 5% rule on down the line. Think about it...

Frankly, I can do without the guys that insist on providing their own boarding music and hanging dice or other talismans on the panel. Grow up and show some respect for your position, please.

 

[Road Rash]

This may have been coverd, buuut, what really pushes my buttons is the micro manager captian. I had this one guy who tell me to call ground every time after push back... After a couple of weeks of this I would just look at him and reeeaaalllly. I dont think he ever got it...

 

[JOIF18]

FedEx1, I flew with a guy that did that, too. Probably the same guy... just a few weeks ago. Kinda caught me by surprise. No notice, no nothing, just a "happy snap" for the scrapbook I guess.

 

[FedEx1]

Yeah, if "that guy" has the initials, D.E... must be him. Weird.....

 

[Special Ed]

I was crop dusting in Arkansas for a pretty low buck operation that attracted all sorts of nuts. Us younger guys were there building time, hoping for a better seat the next year, and the older guys were there because they had "problems", and no one else would hire them. The owner had a party for us at a local beach (just a gravel bar on the river, but a popular local hangout) One of the older pilots shows up naked...just got out of his truck, and walked to where we all were, flips open a lawn chair, flops down & cracks a beer like it's nothin special. There were kids running around, guys wives and girlfriends... were all sort of thinking WTF. I'd say he lasted about an half an hour or so, no one was talking to him, so he just packs up the lawnchair, walks back to his truck and leaves, still naked as the day he was born. I reckon the sun was too much for big moe and the twins.

 

[Resume Writer]

.

Come on - Let's hear about the reeeaaalllly bad ones.....................

We have one Captain nicknamed "Peek-a-boo"

Another one was fired after he hung out a cockpit window to clean the windscreen while his FO taxied - apparently forgot to take his Prozac

.

I remember both of those pilots well. We used to call the second Captain you referenced as "Jiminy Cricket." I was flying with him once to New York. He was very big into Ballooning. He won an award from Popular Science and that was the reason why he picked up the trip. Anyhow, in the morning we were all waiting for the van in the hotel lobby that was to drive us to JFK. He had his award "unwrapped" and proudly displayed for all of us to see. His friend was with him, and that gentleman still had his award wrapped up.

FWIW, he always backed up the flight attendants. I remember one time he came out of the cockpit, while we still on the ground, and reprimanded a passenger who was giving us grief.

As for Peek-A-Boo, you have to understand the story of how he got his name. Allegedly he would use dental mirrors to look under the doors of FAs in hotels to see if he could catch a glimpse of anything. There was also a rumor that he somehow would make his way into FAs rooms and somehow pry out the peephole and turn it around so he could see inside their room while out in the hall.

I will never forget a flight attendant I was flying with came back from the cockpit and said, "Guess who we are flying with? He held up a napkin to his eye, where he had punched out a hole, and had "Room 208" printed on it. We all knew who the Captain was without ever having to ask!

We also had a Captain on the 757 who was very methodical about the way he ate his food. He would eat fried rice and push it all into a big pile on his plate. He would then take a bite, and proceed to push it all back together again. After about the 10th time he did this, I left the cockpit.

We had a First Officer, now a Captain, who we nicknamed "stinky." He would wear the SAME uniform shirt for his entire 4-day trip. By the 4th day, he was, well, stinky!

We also had a Captain (reference "Gone with the Wind" for his name) who would clean the "door sills" on the aircraft. He would open the aircraft door on the ground and proceed to clean the inside. He actually pointed this out to me one time, and said that it made the aircraft perform better or something like that!

I guess I could go on forever!

Kathy

 

[Ty Webb]

The owner had a party for us at a local beach (just a gravel bar on the river, but a popular local hangout) One of the older pilots shows up naked...just got out of his truck, and walked to where we all were, flips open a lawn chair, flops down & cracks a beer like it's nothin special.

You know, a lot of time has passed . . . . we've all moved on. Whadda ya say we just forget all about it, OK? It won't happen again, I promise.

 

[Donald]

I've had plenty of captains wipe down everything with an alcohol wipe and once, I had one that pulled out a paint brush and started dusting. But a buddy of mine actually had one that wore surgical gloves while in the seat.

 

[AKAAB]

I've had plenty of captains wipe down everything with an alcohol wipe and once, I had one that pulled out a paint brush and started dusting. But a buddy of mine actually had one that wore surgical gloves while in the seat.

Okay, flag on the play - ten yards for unnecessary roughness. If all of the Captains are so foul, what's the problem with trying to avoid catching whatever disease they picked up on the last layover? Call me weird, but I also wash my hands whether they need it or not.

As for dusting, the cockpit is our office and some of us prefer not to have someone visit the cockpit and notice the cookie chunks and Dorito fallout wedged in the panel gaps. Now, some guys are obsessive about it, but I think trying to keep the cockpit relatively clean is not out of the ordinary.

And, FO's, if a Captain offers you a breath mint, take it!

AKAAB

 

[semperfido]

i always thought the lav on an airliner must be one of the nastiest places on the planet.

 

[canyonblue737]

while i don't do it i have seen a million guys do the wipes and paint brush cleaning routine. truth be told if we all did the cockpits wouldn't have 5 years of crumbs covering 3 inches of flooring and panel.

 

[Nolife]

Nam

The Mr. Rogers thing is true... I was with him at Khe Sahn.

 

[fastbird]

Had one that decided to paint her nails in cruise.

Had another that loved to eat Sardines during cruise.

Then, there is the ass bomber who caused me to pull the Oh-Two mask for relief and then a few minutes later the FA calls to ask who stunk up the plane!

 

[ChperpltII]

Then, there is the ass bomber who caused me to pull the Oh-Two mask for relief and then a few minutes later the FA calls to ask who stunk up the plane!

Sorry about that...

 

[TNPILOT]

We have a captain who takes his Playstation with him on overnights. He also likes to preach to the FOs because he's a bible beater. He's heading to CAL soon...have fun with that piece of work.

How could the XJT guys forget to mention "3 cup". This guy asks the FA's for a drink and 3 cups so that he doesn't have to drink out of a cup that anyone has touched. Word is that he used to live in the EWR crew room sleeping in his robe and yelled at anyone who talked.