Two Pilot Marriages

[Way2Broke]

Is there anyone out there that is married to another pilot. How do you make it work? Did one of you give up flying for some time to have kids?

 

[Slice121]

Is there anyone out there that is married to another pilot. How do you make it work? Did one of you give up flying for some time to have kids?

Works for two couples I know. No kids yet...

 

[Rogue5]

I'm getting married next month to another pilot.

I'll let you know how it works out...

 

[81Horse]

Did one of you give up flying for some time to have kids?

Yes. If this won't work for you, you should plan on living nextdoor to the grand 'rents. Otherwise, your child(ren) will be raised by a nanny.

 

[satpak77]

nice setup. Empty kitchen. kids grow up to be substance abusers

nice nice nice

two-career household....nothing like America

 

[Rez O. Lewshun]

Did one of you give up flying for some time to have kids?

Here it is.... if one doesn't give up flying then why have kids? I mean whats the point. It bad enough that one parent is done on 3 or 4 or more day trips...

Two married pilots that want kids? Why what are you trying to gain and at whose expense...

 

[Reelbigfish]

Here it is.... if one doesn't give up flying then why have kids? I mean whats the point. It bad enough that one parent is done on 3 or 4 or more day trips...

Two married pilots that want kids? Why what are you trying to gain and at whose expense...

Amen! There is nothing wrong with being married and not having kids if you both want to continue with your career. I'm 14 years into my marriage and we are very happy with our decision not to have kids! If we had wanted kids, one of us would have stayed home, but not having kids is great for us!

 

[Beertini]

Did one of you give up flying for some time to have kids?

That is exactly what we did. The Mrs. informed me that she wanted to 'be a mom' and was willing to give up flying in order to do so. I would never have forced my wife to quit flying (nor am I foolish enough to think that I could ever force her to do anything), but for us it was the right decision. She is happy in her supreme Mom-ness and I am happy that she is happy. She does miss the flying and getting out on the road and everything that goes along with the pilot lifestyle, but she just keeps telling me I need to buy her a plane. (Someday soon, I hope!).

The alternative is you both keep flying. I know of several couples at FedEx that fly and bid so that someone is always home. They don't see that much of each other since one or the other is almost always on a trip, but they make it work.

Hope that helps,
Beertini

 

[IFollowRoads]

Great for you both being pilots and not having kids?

If not to procreate why get married and take a chance on having half or more of your stuff taken from you later? Plus your mothers heart is breaking over you not producing some grandkids, you heartless sunova...

 

[pgcfii2002]

I've heard of a small % of married pilots.....if it works...hey...go for it.

I could never do it...be like being married to myself. Yuck!!!

 

[wmudriver]

Getting married to another pilot next month...will let you know how it goes.

 

[Reelbigfish]

Great for you both being pilots and not having kids?

If not to procreate why get married and take a chance on having half or more of your stuff taken from you later? Plus your mothers heart is breaking over you not producing some grandkids, you heartless sunova...

Because I LOVE my wife and want to be married to her. Marriage is about two people being together, not having kids. Having kids is a whole other thing...it's called HAVING KIDS!
Rock out if you want to have kids, I think that's great if you both want them. Why does it bother you so much that we don't want kids?

 

[dhc8fo]

We did it, sort of. Wife flies in the Navy so not too much choice in who had to sacrifice. I am doing the corporate a few days a week while the kids are in school. I miss the regular flying, but it is great to be with the family. Thee is no way we would have let someone else raise our kids full time. As someone else said, why bother having kids then? When she gets out I have the choice of going back to full time if I want to. Not too sure I want to.

 

[IFollowRoads]

Because I LOVE my wife and want to be married to her. Marriage is about two people being together, not having kids. Having kids is a whole other thing...it's called HAVING KIDS!
Rock out if you want to have kids, I think that's great if you both want them. Why does it bother you so much that we don't want kids?

hehe it doesnt, buddy. I was just teasin ya

 

[j41driver]

My wife and I are pilots and there is no way we could raise our son without my wife being at home with him. Our decision was made a bit easier since we both worked at IDE and we all know how that worked out. My wife now has a home based business that allows her to work when she wants to and she's making more money than she did flying. Bottom line - Nothing wrong with a 2 pilot marriage but I can't see raising kids with both people flying for a living.

BTW - There was a relatively recent article in Flying, AOPA, or some other magazine about a couple in a 2 pilot marriage.

 

[capt. megadeth]

nice setup. Empty kitchen. kids grow up to be substance abusers

nice nice nice

two-career household....nothing like America

Simple answer to that.....if you want a career, don't have kids.

If you want kids, give up the career.

If you want both, you have to bid opposite schedules.....it can be done.

 

[capt. megadeth]

Here it is.... if one doesn't give up flying then why have kids? I mean whats the point. It bad enough that one parent is done on 3 or 4 or more day trips...

Two married pilots that want kids? Why what are you trying to gain and at whose expense...

Amen!

 

[capt. megadeth]

Great for you both being pilots and not having kids?

If not to procreate why get married ...

IT'S CALLED TRUE LOVE AND IT DOES EXIST. For those of us fortunate enough to experience it, there is nothing like it.

 

[AV1ATRX]

I am in a two-pilot marraige. My child was already here when we met and got married, and we decided to try it. Two years later my husband got a job outside of aviation and I kept flying. It is definately better this way for us, but lots of people make it work. We also have grandparents very close by, which is the only way I could keep flying, even with him being home every night. There's no way around it - even a single-pilot family suffers in some way. This life we've chosed is hard in so many ways. Each individual must decide if it's worth it.

 

[satpak77]

I am in a two-pilot marraige. My child was already here when we met and got married, and we decided to try it. Two years later my husband got a job outside of aviation and I kept flying. It is definately better this way for us, but lots of people make it work. We also have grandparents very close by, which is the only way I could keep flying, even with him being home every night. There's no way around it - even a single-pilot family suffers in some way. This life we've chosed is hard in so many ways. Each individual must decide if it's worth it.

Why do you choose to keep flying? Is the "enjoyment factor" of flying greater than the "I miss my kids" factor? Etc? Not trying to start an argument, looking for legit discussion.

You stated "this life is hard in so many ways"

What exactly makes it worth it?

 

[EatSleepFly]

There's a guy who flies for Ho-Jets, who's wife is attending Gulfstream.

I kid you not! Talk about a match made in heaven. uke:

 

[atpcliff]

Hi!

I know of a guy who's a capt at AirTran and his wife is a more senior capt at Delta. They have no kids, and a lot of dough.

cliff
YIP

 

[FlyUnited]

How about the pilot/flight attendant marriages. This is nothing new. Happens all the time.

 

[satpak77]

How about the pilot/flight attendant marriages. This is nothing new. Happens all the time.

yeah those always work. 58 year old Captain with FA Wife #3

lets vote for age 65 retirement....

 

[rdy4to]

I am friends with a couple that flies and have kids. Wife flew before the husband and has the better job. They have the best two kids I know, unlike many other kids whose parents are home every night. It truly is about quality time before quantity time. Of course it'd be great to have quality quantity time. (But hey I know another couple who has all the money in the world and no jobs and they still don't spend enough time with the kids.) My friends do work opposite schedules alot, but manage to spend time together as a family too especially when they can manipulate their schedules around. It's all about what works for the couple.

And regarding satpak77's comment to AV1ATRX, you'd never ask a guy the same questions. Why do guys fly? Don't they miss their kids? Isn't it hard on them too? Come on, most of us fly because it's something we chose to pursue not some job we fell into by accident. Something about flying spoke to us. Men or women, most pilots miss the family when they are gone from them. Many, many guys continue to fly for a living even if it means leaving the kids so why is it so different if a woman chooses to do the same thing? There is guilt leaving the kids, no matter if you are a man or a woman.

Personally, I see other couples that both work and are home every night or one of the parents stays at home and their kids are no better than the two pilot's kids. All I say is do what is best for you and your spouse and together you'll make it work.

Just my two cents.

 

[Way2Broke]

I am friends with a couple that flies and have kids. Wife flew before the husband and has the better job. They have the best two kids I know, unlike many other kids whose parents are home every night. It truly is about quality time before quantity time. Of course it'd be great to have quality quantity time. (But hey I know another couple who has all the money in the world and no jobs and they still don't spend enough time with the kids.) My friends do work opposite schedules alot, but manage to spend time together as a family too especially when they can manipulate their schedules around. It's all about what works for the couple.

And regarding satpak77's comment to AV1ATRX, you'd never ask a guy the same questions. Why do guys fly? Don't they miss their kids? Isn't it hard on them too? Come on, most of us fly because it's something we chose to pursue not some job we fell into by accident. Something about flying spoke to us. Men or women, most pilots miss the family when they are gone from them. Many, many guys continue to fly for a living even if it means leaving the kids so why is it so different if a woman chooses to do the same thing? There is guilt leaving the kids, no matter if you are a man or a woman.

Personally, I see other couples that both work and are home every night or one of the parents stays at home and their kids are no better than the two pilot's kids. All I say is do what is best for you and your spouse and together you'll make it work.

Just my two cents.

I'd pay a dollar for those two cents and still consider it a heck of a deal. Well said sir.

 

[IFollowRoads]

IT'S CALLED TRUE LOVE AND IT DOES EXIST. For those of us fortunate enough to experience it, there is nothing like it.

The road to divorce court is paved with...

aw, forget it.

 

[MQAAord]

Pilot/F/A marriages have the same 'scheduling' issues, and not every pilot/F/A marriage is an old fart pilot married to a 20-something F/A.

My (pilot) husband and I (F/A) met at Eagle. We went to our separate majors, where I got furloughed (AA) and he almost got furloughed (DL). On my first furlough I got my pilot's license with the ambition of being a career pilot. A recall letter arrived at my door 5 months later and we decided instead to get married and accept my recall to AA as a F/A. After my second furlough from AA we decided to have our kids. We knew I'd be furloughed for a loooooong time (almost 4 years later, with no recall in sight we were right ). I was not furloughed by choice, but I did not pursue flying with another carrier by choice (and believe me it was tempting when UA and CO started hiring), and I did not pursue my ratings, again by choice.

I have made the choice to stay furloughed, and stay with our two kids who are now 3 and 17 months. There will be no more (2 is plenty, thankyouverymuch) and if a recall letter showed up at my door there's no way I'd be able to accept. The scheduling would be impossible. I accept this and have no regrets. My kids are worth it. Airplanes will always be there for me to fly (whether I choose to continue my ratings or continue as a F/A), but my kids are only young once.

 

[Singlecoil]

My wife and I were working for different regionals when we got married. I moved to live at her base and did the commute since my airline had better pass privileges with the "major" that served the route. A year later I got hired by that "major" and very shortly after that she got pregnant. Funny how that works. In fact it pretty much happened within days of when I was offered a class date. Anyway, she quit to stay home with the children (now there are two) and hasn't looked back since. She always wanted to be a stay at home mom. We drive old cars and live out in the sticks so we can afford it.

 

[FlyUnited]

Lots of pilot/flight attendant marriages last...and not all are old pilot/young f/a either. I've had my adorable (now 40 something) pilot for 20 years and I see no end in sight for either of us....and we have two kids.

It takes a lot of juggling of schedules to make it work. Luckily at United, we can drop our schedules to zero through rdo's, so I'm home during the summers and only work when I feel like it. Sometimes we fly together, most of the time we don't.....who could stand to see each other 24/7? It's all about the desire to make it work and the love that glues it together.