To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - - - particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, Airline pilots with proper identification, Secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal Of Honor winning former Governors.
Let's pause a moment and take the following test.
In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and massacred by:
- (a) Olga Korbut
- (b) Sitting Bull
- (c) Mahatma Gandhi
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1979,the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:
- (a) Flock Of Seagulls
- (b) Distraught Elvis fans
- (c) A tour bus full of grouchy 80-year-old women
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:
- (a) Malcolm X
- (b) Militant lesbians
- (c) Andre The Giant
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:
- (a) An Army Corporal
- (b) An M-80
- (c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:
- (a) Captain Steubing
- (b) Captain Kidd
- (c) The Little Mermaid
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:
- (a) Aristotle Onassis
- (b) Zorba The Greek
- (c) Mother Teresa
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:
- (a) Maverick & Goose
- (b) Jack Daniels
- (c) Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:
- (a) Crazy Horse
- (b) Tony Montana
- (c) Dennis Rodman
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:
- (a) Mr. Rogers
- (b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems
- (c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: "Mustapha the Merciless"
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked and destroyed, and thousands of people were killed by:
- (a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd
- (b) The Klingons
- (c) Deadheads
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 2002 the United States is looking in Afghanistan for:
- (a) Chechnyans
- (b) Nigerian Christians
- (c) Enron employees
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:
- (a) Bonny and Clyde
- (b) Pretty Boy Floyd
- (c) Floyd the Barber
- (d) Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40.
And don't forget the USS Cole....... Nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling.