Ten Signs It's Time to Retire From the Fracs

Dooker

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  • You spend more time preflighting the automatic defibrillator than you do the jet
  • You start every conversation with, “Back when I was with Braniff …
  • Your favorite magazine is AARP
  • You’ve outlived all three of your exes
  • Your carry pictures of your great-grandchildren in your wallet
  • You’d still do Bea Arthur, in a second
  • Instead of tipping the line guys, you hand out Werther’s Originals
  • Thick tufts of ear hair make it hard to hear ATC
  • Uniform pants too snug for Depends
  • Because it’s time you found something else to fill up the sorry aching void that is your life and let someone else have a shot, you greedy old selfish bastard
 

Just Peachy

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You're going to fit right in with current government group......
 

fob727

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Grow up

:crying: Dooker, you're kinda spoiled, huh?
 

fischman

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Lighten up man. It was a joke... and a funny one. If you didn't get it, maybe dooker needs to add a #11 to the list.
 

Dooker

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Lighten up man. It was a joke... if you didn't get it, maybe dooker needs to add a #11 to the list.
Took the words right out of my mouth, fisch.

BTW, that Bush quote's hilarious.
 

FR8DOG777

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nuff
#11 is when your ceo cuts your 401k matching reducing your pay from 45% less than the competitors to 48% just so they can afford to pay F&H.
 

ozpilot

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#12 When you go to bed at home, you hang out a Due Not Disturb sign.

#13 When you eat a meal at home, you insist that it be served cold and you eat it in your lap.

#14 When your wife drops you off at the airport you tip her $3 ($5 if she gets your bag)
 

400pilot

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enough
#15 When your kids knock on your bedroom door before 8am, you instinctively start yelling at them to read the do not disturb sign...and then follow up with a cell phone call to your wife in the other room to file a complaint.

#16 When you routinely use your blackberry while at home to email flightaware or Jetplan for current local wx conditions.

#17 When you understand fully why someone would rather land in the Hudson, than go back to TEB one more time...
 
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fob727

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what I find humorous

Fishman, while I generally find your posts insightful, I don't see the humor in Dooker's post.

What I find some humor in is the thought of, while laughing hysterically, explaining to an f/o like Dooker, how MX is going to have pry my cold dead hands from the thrust levers and tiller, before I voluntarily give up my seat to a whiny slug like him.
 

Mike Jenvey

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#19 You always have to ask the FO to get the ATIS as there is too much feedback on your hearing aid.

#20 You advise TSA that you are exempt from the body screening arch, as it might cause problems with your pacemaker.

Keep 'em coming!! :D
 

Willy21

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You use security tape on your doors at home and in your car.
 

CA1900

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You wear the same ugly polo shirt and same pair of jeans every night for your entire week at home...

;)
 

GooseHZ

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....

You havent bought soap, shammpoo, lotion in years for your own bathroom at home.
 
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