Ten Signs It's Time to Retire From the Fracs

[Dooker]

• You spend more time preflighting the automatic defibrillator than you do the jet

• You start every conversation with, “Back when I was with Braniff …

• Your favorite magazine is AARP

• You’ve outlived all three of your exes

• Your carry pictures of your great-grandchildren in your wallet

• You’d still do Bea Arthur, in a second

• Instead of tipping the line guys, you hand out Werther’s Originals

• Thick tufts of ear hair make it hard to hear ATC

• Uniform pants too snug for Depends

• Because it’s time you found something else to fill up the sorry aching void that is your life and let someone else have a shot, you greedy old selfish bastard

 

[NachoMamma]

Lmao

• Instead of tipping the line guys, you hand out Werther’s Originals

Holy crap! Very funny.

 

[Just Peachy]

You're going to fit right in with current government group......

 

[Dooker]

You're going to fit right in with current government group......

I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, but I'll assume it's a compliment.

Thanks!

 

[fob727]

Grow up

:crying: Dooker, you're kinda spoiled, huh?

 

[fischman]

Lighten up man. It was a joke... and a funny one. If you didn't get it, maybe dooker needs to add a #11 to the list.

 

[Dooker]

Lighten up man. It was a joke... if you didn't get it, maybe dooker needs to add a #11 to the list.

Took the words right out of my mouth, fisch.

BTW, that Bush quote's hilarious.

 

[fob727]

Ok, I'll bite. What's #11?

 

[J3guy]

Nice one Dooker, HILARIOUS!!

 

[Amish RakeFight]

Lmao!

 

[FR8DOG777]

#11 is when your ceo cuts your 401k matching reducing your pay from 45% less than the competitors to 48% just so they can afford to pay F&H.

 

[ozpilot]

#12 When you go to bed at home, you hang out a Due Not Disturb sign.

#13 When you eat a meal at home, you insist that it be served cold and you eat it in your lap.

#14 When your wife drops you off at the airport you tip her $3 ($5 if she gets your bag)

 

[400pilot]

#15 When your kids knock on your bedroom door before 8am, you instinctively start yelling at them to read the do not disturb sign...and then follow up with a cell phone call to your wife in the other room to file a complaint.

#16 When you routinely use your blackberry while at home to email flightaware or Jetplan for current local wx conditions.

#17 When you understand fully why someone would rather land in the Hudson, than go back to TEB one more time...

 

[clickclickboom]

#18 You put locks on all your doors at home with the same combination as the stock lockers...

 

[x402]

I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, but I'll assume it's a compliment.

Thanks!

No it wasn't.......and that's really funny.

 

[fob727]

what I find humorous

Fishman, while I generally find your posts insightful, I don't see the humor in Dooker's post.

What I find some humor in is the thought of, while laughing hysterically, explaining to an f/o like Dooker, how MX is going to have pry my cold dead hands from the thrust levers and tiller, before I voluntarily give up my seat to a whiny slug like him.

 

[Mike Jenvey]

#19 You always have to ask the FO to get the ATIS as there is too much feedback on your hearing aid.

#20 You advise TSA that you are exempt from the body screening arch, as it might cause problems with your pacemaker.

Keep 'em coming!!

 

[Willy21]

You use security tape on your doors at home and in your car.

 

[CA1900]

You wear the same ugly polo shirt and same pair of jeans every night for your entire week at home...

 

[GooseHZ]

....

You havent bought soap, shammpoo, lotion in years for your own bathroom at home.

 

[BortaS]

You have more than 3 differnt pairs of glasses in your pocket.

 

[theskyking]

You hang your handicap flag from the seat adjustment knobs hoping for a better parking spot in Boston.

 

[ultrarunner]

#26. You start using your roller board as your dresser at home.

 

[say again]

Fishman, while I generally find your posts insightful, I don't see the humor in Dooker's post.

What I find some humor in is the thought of, while laughing hysterically, explaining to an f/o like Dooker, how MX is going to have pry my cold dead hands from the thrust levers and tiller, before I voluntarily give up my seat to a whiny slug like him.

You sound like a real barrel of laughs. Lighten up, it's good for the blood pressure.

 

[AceCrackshot]

27. Your alarm clock is programmed with the noise of the Landing Gear cycling, because that's the only thing that wakes you up.

 

[gunfyter]

#26. You start using your roller board as your dresser at home.

Thats not funny. :crying:

 

[CE750Driver]

What I find some humor in is the thought of, while laughing hysterically, explaining to an f/o like Dooker, how MX is going to have pry my cold dead hands from the thrust levers and tiller, before I voluntarily give up my seat to a whiny slug like him.

Its called "Fit for duty", and it gets in acted soon, and if you have multiple reports of being inept at NJA, due to age, or any other factors, you will be terminated. No prying involved. Study up on it. Union approved.

 

[Coool Hand Luke]

You pull up at a stop light next to a big rig and instinctively grab your CB mic and transmit: "livin' the dream" over the radio

 

[flagshipper]

28. You see more than two SS in a row and start cursing and taking your clothes off.

29. You won't eat any meal that doesn't come in a plastic container with potato salad.

30. You dye your toilet water at home blue.

 

[Coool Hand Luke]

The big rig driver transmits: "one day at a time"