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Ten Signs It's Time to Retire From the Fracs

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fob727 said:
Go home and suckle from your mamma's breasts, little man. Get some maturity and we can have this conversation again
Click to expand...

Jeez. Why all the anger? We're just funnin.'

You know what would help you? Go grab a handful of Levitra or whatever it takes to make that old thing stir to life, go rumple the sheets with the old lady, maybe jump in the golf cart and take her out for a nice ride afterwards.

I'll bet it'd do you both a world of good.

Seriously.
 
fob727 said:
Go home and suckle from your mamma's breasts, little man. Get some maturity and we can have this conversation again
Click to expand...

I think someone didn't get upgraded at the Crowne Plaza TEB last night.

Seriously, don't sweat it. Its the same view, and the hospitality hour food is the same.
 
Dooker said:
  • You spend more time preflighting the automatic defibrillator than you do the jet
  • You start every conversation with, “Back when I was with Braniff …
  • Your favorite magazine is AARP
  • You’ve outlived all three of your exes
  • Your carry pictures of your great-grandchildren in your wallet
  • You’d still do Bea Arthur, in a second
  • Instead of tipping the line guys, you hand out Werther’s Originals
  • Thick tufts of ear hair make it hard to hear ATC
  • Uniform pants too snug for Depends
  • Because it’s time you found something else to fill up the sorry aching void that is your life and let someone else have a shot, you greedy old selfish bastard
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Ok, for starters, it was funny. I had to grade myself as 2 out 10, so I figure I have about 8 or 10 years left. I dropped from a 3 out of 10 because, although I wouldn’t do Bea Arthur, I still COULD
do Bea Arthur, …....or Bea Alonzo for that matter.
What I found as not funny is the fact that old people and white males are the only fair game left to make jokes about. Race, religion, ethnicity, and sexual preference are all off limits, although I do know of one menopausal dyke that should go back on the lampoon list. Blond and Aggie jokes are only politely laughed at and picking on any minority is totally wrong.
However, old people and white males still remain as acceptable for ridicule. Have you noticed the commercials on TV? The white male businessman uses a “cartoon” credit card to pay for a meal. The Germans laugh about it and the female Indian associate saves the day with an American Express card. How about the young female suburbanite on the telephone listing all the yummy meals she’s losing weight on. Meanwhile, the idiotic husband is lamely looking through a refrigerator full of yogurt, trying to find her food stash.
So, there you have it. And, since most of us on this board are probably white males, that only leaves age to pick on. And, it seems like we pick on it a lot.
 
Wife has to remind you "we have a frig" as you search kitchen drawers for bottled water.

Even at home, you assume the braced position as you use the lav. Also, you call the bathroom the lav.
 
You get pissed off because somebody actually posted a thread on Flight Info that could be classified as funny.
 
Dooker said:
Jeez. Why all the anger? We're just funnin.'

You know what would help you? Go grab a handful of Levitra or whatever it takes to make that old thing stir to life, go rumple the sheets with the old lady, maybe jump in the golf cart and take her out for a nice ride afterwards.

I'll bet it'd do you both a world of good.

Seriously.
Click to expand...

Classy, but I still have 20 more years before I hit the golf cart circuit.

Listen, Sedgewick. While my "old thing" might not work like it did when I was 20, at least my "old lady" doesn't have to look under rolls of fat, as yours; from sitting on your couch expecting everything handed to you.

As someone said "haven't they called you in from the playground?"

Seriously.
 
fob727 said:
Classy, but I still have 20 more years before I hit the golf cart circuit.

Listen, Sedgewick. While my "old thing" might not work like it did when I was 20, at least my "old lady" doesn't have to look under rolls of fat, as yours; from sitting on your couch expecting everything handed to you.

As someone said "haven't they called you in from the playground?"

Seriously.
Click to expand...

That's straight up R. Lee Ermey funny.

Wait, its not.
 
Here's mine:

"Dialing in for the weekly message as soon as it is released is the highlight of your 8 day trip."
 
35? Every time you get out of your car you disconnect the battery.

36. You can't remember what your home channel lineup is.

37.Even when you're at home, every night you mistakenly try to order crewfood when you go to bed.

38. If you fall asleep in your own lazy boy at home you always wake up thinking you're at Signature and just got ASAPed somewhere.
 
friggin hilarious

I love hearing all you young punks whine about guys like me hogging all your opportunities.

Back when I was FE on the good ol' 707, and you was still a gleam in your grandpappy's eye, I was out there putting it all on the line to help build this industry.

So I may have lost a step or two in the last fifty years. So what?

So I don't always do what that dang RA thing says I'm supposed to. So what if I have to get up and hit the head three times on a two hour leg? So what if it takes me an hour to send in my actuals on that dang whatchamajig? So what if I doze off over there without warning?

And what if I can't lift anything heavier than ten pounds over my head? What about it, hmm? Like it's my fault these rich punks can't figure out how to pack.

So what if I'm totally useless on the last day of a sixer? So what if I still can't figure out how to work that dang whatchamacallit with all them little buttons on it? So what if I throw a tantrum when the company changes the trip on me?

I earned the right to be here.

Just wish I would've save a little now and then.

Yeah, Dooker's friggin hilarious!
 

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