Please Help- problem with morning shows!

[MALSR]

[FONT=&quot]Greetings all, I've been flying part 121 for several years now and I'd like to think that I'm becoming accustomed to the schedules and other hardships that come along with this job. However, quite recently I began experiencing a problem with my early morning shows that, in all honesty, have left me bewildered to say the least. You see, I’ve been doing early morning shows for the past 3 months now and about halfway through the 1st bid I started experiencing what can best be described as the "morning poo syndrome." (For the uninitiated, the morning poo’s occur at the same time everyday in a clockwork-like manner.) My problem arises in that at 4am the last thing I want to do (besides wake up) is take10 extra minutes to squeeze out a steamer. At first I thought that this was nothing more than a sporadic and peculiar occurrence but have since thought otherwise. In fact, I now have to wake up 10 minutes earlier every morning just to drop my monkey bomb. Let it be noted that while my girlfriend can take a dump in a mere 30 seconds I need a whole 10- 15 minutes to comfortably evacuate fecal matter. While the regularity of certain things in ones life my provide comfort in an otherwise fickle world, this is starting to wear thin on my already early mornings. My call goes out to anyone who has experienced the habitual experience of the morning poo’s and defeated it. [/FONT]

 

[WalterSobchak]

This thread has potential for greatness.

I don't function in the morning without at least 2 or the "3 S's" completed...and shave is the one I can get away with not doing. Your best bet is to adjust to it and enjoy it. You'll feel much better throughout the day having evac'd the excrement.

I suggest you fire up this site, plug in your per diem rate, and see how much you're getting paid for dropping that deuce.

 

[SpyFlysDOTs]

Prunes, about 5-6 per day, tasty snack and works wonders

 

[Smoking Man]

I just wanted in on the first page to say

Mesa Sucks

 

[J and E's Daddy]

Try corn and salads! That'll clean you out!

 

[PBRstreetgang]

You will be a full fledged regional pilot when you can not chit all day and only feel slight discomfort, kinda like the jumpseat on an RJ. Its the chit camel syndrome. When you get to the hotel room, its like a pavlovian thing, I can't walk through though the room door without almost krapping my drawers. You will be there someday grasshopper.
PBR

 

[CA1900]

If you don't drink coffee, start. Once it kicks in, the launcher will be empty in about 30 seconds!

 

[Amish RakeFight]

In situations like that I've used adult diapers. YMMV.

 

[J and E's Daddy]

You will be a full fledged regional pilot when you can not chit all day and only feel slight discomfort, kinda like the jumpseat on an RJ. Its the chit camel syndrome. When you get to the hotel room, its like a pavlovian thing, I can't walk through though the room door without almost krapping my drawers. You will be there someday grasshopper.
PBR

I laughed so hard I almost peed in my pants

 

[Amish RakeFight]

If you don't drink coffee, start. Once it kicks in, the launcher will be empty in about 30 seconds!

That was my second recommendation. It's amazing how connected the two are!

 

[M-crit]

Your best bet is to adjust to it and enjoy it. You'll feel much better throughout the day having evac'd the excrement.

I believe this is called poo-phoria, or the act of receiving great enjoyment and pleasure in being able to release feces when you want and how you want. Some even claim to have experienced religious-like deity after such an occasion.

 

[PBRstreetgang]

I believe this is called poo-phoria, or the act of receiving great enjoyment and pleasure in being able to release feces when you want and how you want. Some even claim to have experienced religious-like deity after such an occasion.

I think its called "the rapture". I feel all anew after! Controlling ones tater, it is a command thing.
PBR

 

[WalterSobchak]

I laughed so hard I almost peed in my pants

You mean you almost crapped your pants...stick with the subject matter.

 

[Stifler's Mom]

Bare down and ask yourself...


Who.......Does.......Number 2.......Work.......For?

Who.......Does.......Number 2.......Work.......For?


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UwEmoiRNdg

 

[PBRstreetgang]

5 pages minimum!

 

[WalterSobchak]

5 pages minimum!

Nothing brings us all together like a doo-doo thread.

Now for #2...page 2, I mean.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

If you regularly spend 10-15 minutes on the bowl, you're in for some colonospcopy exams in the near future.

 

[Soverytired]

Best.

Thread-start

Ever.

 

[PBRstreetgang]

If you regularly spend 10-15 minutes on the bowl, you're in for some colonospcopy exams in the near future.

If you do anything other than relax, a rhoidectomy will be in your future.
PBR

 

[acaTerry]

Good gawd man! If I EVER missed JimboRealGoodPilot its now. He'd have hijacked this thread and turned it into the best krapfest ever. Anyone remember that guy? He was the reason I subscribed.
Krapping out doc hatches, keep your props out of ord, and so on.
Now, back to the point....
Drink a Guinness the night before, right before bedtime. :beer: You'll wake up and within 10 minutes you'll be on the seat :0 , just relax it'll leap out . Geez, it'll throw itself at the water and you'll even have to shake and break it because it will be like a big clay snake. Fast finish and minimal wipeup too. You'll feel like a new man . It's been working for me since 1998.