Overheard on ATC

[Sig]

Said to me by the guy who works both CLT and PHL ramps.

Jimmy Mac needs to get his arse into a supervisory position YESTERDAY. He is awesome. You know how often he sleeps at the airport? THAT'S HOW MUCH HE WORKS.... pay the guy, for chrissakes! He's twice the controller C-dawg is, and I've watched him unravel a cat's arse north of G at PHL in two minutes that had my head spinning. I couldn't figure out what was what, and I was drinking coffee next to him in the tower.

 

[Peter Griffin]

Jimmy is the man. I sure will miss flying through PHL and CLT.

SEEEE YA

 

[Peter Griffin]

Wait, I wont miss flying through PHL

 

[HS125]

It's always amazing how many people have actually heard ATC conversations like this one above or the "F'ing bored, not stupid" one.

I wonder how many people have actually heard this one too:

Center: Airline XYZ please expidite descent to cross [intersection] at 11,000
Airline XYZ: Ahh, unable [intersection] at 11,000
Center: Don't you guys have airbrakes on that thing?
Airline XYZ: Airbrakes are for our screwups, not yours.

Not only have I heard it, I've said it. God I hate CLE center.:angryfire

 

[CoATP]

1. Into Raleigh advised "Number 2 Follow the twin jet {it was an F28}"; replied "Roger we have the Fokker in sight", advised "We just prefer to call it a twin jet."
2. Out of EWR to CLT clearance was having a how fast can you go day. Replied in souther drawl "You hear fast I talk ... that's how fast I listen. Say again all after Cleared to"
3. My all around favorite after getting a clearance I was not ready to copy. "We've just had a catostrophic pen failure say again."

 

[pilotguy733]

Jimmy Mac needs to get his arse into a supervisory position YESTERDAY. He is awesome. You know how often he sleeps at the airport? THAT'S HOW MUCH HE WORKS.... pay the guy, for chrissakes! He's twice the controller C-dawg is, and I've watched him unravel a cat's arse north of G at PHL in two minutes that had my head spinning. I couldn't figure out what was what, and I was drinking coffee next to him in the tower.

Jimmy rocks!! Did you know he eats sugar right out of the packet??

SEEEE YAAA

 

[The Drizzle]

My all around favorite after getting a clearance I was not ready to copy. "We've just had a catostrophic pen failure say again."

i am totally stealing this one

 

[belchfire]

Jimmy rocks!! Did you know he eats sugar right out of the packet??

SEEEE YAAA

Anyone know if the "g'daaaaayyyyy" guy is still in RDU? That always made me smile.

Said to me one day while in the soup in the trusty Cherokee 6

"Catbird 125, slow to final approach speed, you're overtaking the aircraft on the parallel approach, break, Piedmont 1234, increase speed 10 knots"

hehehe...

 

[atrdriver]

Back when Smiley was still working in ATL, took off to the north in an ATR. Was a really slow Sunday morning, and he said "ACEY whatever, say heading". I always wanted to do it, so I replied "heading". He didn't even miss a beat, and replied "can you say holding?"

Another time he was working tower, middle of the summer, not a breath of wind for days, and DAL on final for 27L asks for a wind check. In his monotone he said "wind 180 at 1 gusting to 2".

 

[Jeepman]

Heard this one 3 years ago when it appeared USAir was gonna liquidate:

USAir: Denver center, USAir 123 checking on 340..smooth ride

DEN center: Oh yeah, that won't last long.

USAir: How much longer will it last?

DEN Center: about 30 days.

TALK ABOUT HARSH!

 

[Checknsix]

Supposedly...USAirways at PHL, given clearance to position and hold. In a classic Beavis and Butthead voice comes back..."Uhhh hhuhhhuhh..pull it out...hold it"

- Checknsix

 

[T-Storm Chaser]

Said to me by the guy who works both CLT and PHL ramps. The guy does a great job working the ramp, but he said a mouthfull to us a couple of months ago.

"Piedmont, hold your push. You got an RJ comin' on your tail".

LOL, i was actually the FO on the "RJ coming on your tail". It was in PHL about 3 months ago. we were laughing so hard the passengers in the first two rows could hear us.

 

[OPECJet]

LOL, i was actually the FO on the "RJ coming on your tail". It was in PHL about 3 months ago. we were laughing so hard the passengers in the first two rows could hear us.

Well, it was actually when he was working CLT. It was about 3 months ago. We were on E5. I'll never forget it! I looked over at you guys while ya'll were parking and both of you were still laughing. Sad part is the captain I was flying with never heard it. Boy did he miss out! I was still giggling about it half an hour later.

I ran into Jimmy in the broke room at CLT a while back. Didn't know who he was until we got to talking about all the crazy stuff that happens out there. I'd have bought the guy breakfast if he wasn't already eating. He also let me know I was close to getting in trouble for telling "cramp" control we were ready to shove it. He thought it was amusing, but apparently the stupervisor has no sense of humor.

 

[n757st]

I thought I would add a judos to jimme as well, that guy is awesome. I have not heard him in PHL for a while, I hear that he only heads up to our neck of the woods for overtime now and again. WILLY, SPOT 13 and Ground... SEE YA!

 

[CrownandCoke]

back in my flight instructing days, I heard some funny banter...

student pilot: Approach, xxx, can I make a request?
Approach: no
student pilot: okay, thanks

approach: aircraft xxx, do you have the traffic in sight? (about the 10th time asking)
aircraft: negative. What kind of aircraft is it?
approach: It's that new stealth aircraft. It's invisible to normal pilots.

and finally, on a very quiet Sunday morning...

Approach: aircraft xxx, squawk VFR, contact tower, have a good day.
Me: VFR to tower, you have a good one as well
Approach: oh, don't worry, I will, I just got NFL Sunday Ticket from Direct TV! Now I can watch all my favorite teams...(this went on for about 2 minutes. Hilarious!)

 

[gordon24]

Kind of tastless, but here it goes.

Going into MCO in a citation.

Tower: Citation123 170 to 5 mile final, southwest behind you 30 kts faster

Tower: Southwest, start slowing, you've got a citation ahead and you're 30 kts faster.

Southwest: roger, we're slowing.

Tower: Citation 123, can you pick it up to 190, Southwest is still gaining.

Tower: Southwest, start slowing sir, citation traffic ahead.

My partner says, "Yea southwest, you guys trying to buy another gas station?"

Dead silence for the next 30 secs.

 

[ATTCS]

In the 70's I was buzzing along in a 172 through southern Missouri on flight following from KC ARTCC. Someone in a Lear checked on freq and it was obvious he didn't listen, just started talking, blocking out another transmission. He definitely had an attitude about it. The gal working Center then told him "That's all right, I was a student pilot once myself".

 

[SiuDude]

Heard today on the Atlanta center Macey sector frequency.

Aircraft: Center, Delta 117 would like to request runway 8L.
Center: Which runway is that, I don't get to see the airport very often.
Aircraft: That's the long strip of concrete next to Delta headquarers (but that's not important right now).
Center: Roger, I'll pass on that request to approach.

 

[pilot772]

Said to me by the guy who works both CLT and PHL ramps. The guy does a great job working the ramp, but he said a mouthfull to us a couple of months ago.

"Piedmont, hold your push. You got an RJ comin' on your tail".

Jimmy he's by far the best ramp controller I've ever seen

 

[Jrparne]

Heard a pilot flying an rj into toledo express say with a strong southren accent:

HOLY TOLEDO COMAIR 1422 with you level 9

 

[OPECJet]

So sad when my soul mission out of this career is to have someone post something on the internet that I said on the radio. Hasn't happened yet, but it will.......

 

[gator_hater]

Reported from a Delta Capt.

Delta 767: "Ground, OK to cross bleed? Don't wan't to blast the guy behind us."
Comair: "Tell Delta to go ahead and blow me."

 

[John Pennekamp]

Reported from a Delta Capt.

Delta 767: "Ground, OK to cross bleed? Don't wan't to blast the guy behind us."
Comair: "Tell Delta to go ahead and blow me."

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are...

I was blasted by a Comair -700 once, and pretended to key the mike, but keyed the intercom. I said "Thanks for the blow job, Comair, that's the second time you f---ed us". My FO thought I transmitted and almost died.

 

[Drill Sgt. Dad]

I said this one back in my frieght dogs days of the early 90's. I was told to follow an Eagle Shorts 360 and a CCAIR Shorts 360. It was as follows:

CLT GND: Seneca 8793E (Now in RAM Air's Fleet), taxi to Rwy 18L, you will be following an Eagles Shorts and a US AIR shorts.

My Reply: I will follow a pair of Shorts to 18L , 8793E.

 

[groundpointsix]

Anyone know if the "g'daaaaayyyyy" guy is still in RDU? That always made me smile.

If this is the guy who speaks in monotone, he still is there.

 

[The Drizzle]

for my money, nothing beats Franklin in LGA

 

[CitationLover]

auctioneer in CLT

anyways no one in CLE has gotten my spinal tap reference yet. i always start off with a:

"hello cleveland" in my fake british accent

 

[The Drizzle]

i'm pretty sure they get it, and i'm sure they are sick of it.

 

[BankAccount=0$]

auctioneer in CLT

anyways no one in CLE has gotten my spinal tap reference yet. i always start off with a:

"hello cleveland" in my fake british accent

Let's try not to confuse CLE controllers with any un-necessary humor, they have a hard enough time simply trying to sequence traffic in the first place.

 

[CF34-3B1]

Heard this one from an old ATC'er who swears it happened. If you spent any time around DAB you'll appreciate it.

N118AT: (In your best mid east accent) Daytona Approaching Controll, I am Vun Vun Eet Alpva Tango for landing instructions"

DAB App: 118AT say your position.

N118AT: Yes yes, for landing please.

DAB App: Sir, what is your position from Daytona?

N118AT: Dirka Dirka Mohammed Jihad (or something like that)

After a few more unsuccessful attempts:

DAB App: N118AT, are you over DeLand? (a GA field just outside the DAB class C)

N118AT: No, I am over dee water...................