Overheard on ATC

[lowlycfi]

I could have swore I heard someone say "Cleveland Steamer" instead of "Cleveland Center" the other day....

 

[Motive Flow]

Heard this a couple of years ago climbing out of PIT on CLE center freq:

(USAirways pilot with a thick southern drawl)

"Clev-burgh Center USAir ###, 9000 for 14,000 direct Briggs."

(5 seconds pass with no answer)

"...Over?"

Classic!:laugh:

 

[COOPERVANE]

N118AT: No, I am over dee water...................


Spit out my milk on that one!!!!

 

[phishn@daves]

N118AT: No, I am over dee water...................


Spit out my milk on that one!!!!

Was it chocolate milk from your Avatars breast?

 

[Headfake14]

...plaid...thats funny...I'm gonna have to use some copyright infringement here and use that one day

 

[Headfake14]

...when CHQ fisrt started flying out of ATL...the dep ctrler on 125.0 called them "chickentaco". We were rolling...of course they didn't answer that call

 

[Headfake14]

Heard this one from an old ATC'er who swears it happened. If you spent any time around DAB you'll appreciate it.

N118AT: (In your best mid east accent) Daytona Approaching Controll, I am Vun Vun Eet Alpva Tango for landing instructions"

DAB App: 118AT say your position.

N118AT: Yes yes, for landing please.

DAB App: Sir, what is your position from Daytona?

N118AT: Dirka Dirka Mohammed Jihad (or something like that)

After a few more unsuccessful attempts:

DAB App: N118AT, are you over DeLand? (a GA field just outside the DAB class C)

N118AT: No, I am over dee water...................

I heard about something like that when I was down there...classic

 

[Headfake14]

...this may get lengthy... Not on the radio, but on the PA

In the chick-magnet...er...in the ATRah one day. Getting ready to push from D26. The electro lifts us up and something goes wrong with it and we get lifted waaaaay up...and it won't let us down. Called MTC yada yada yada. They bring out some hydraulic jacks and a crowd draws in around us...

Meeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnwhillllllllllllleeeeeeeeee

I'm being captain extrodinair making a couple PAs. as follows, or somehithing like it

"folks from the flt.deck, welcome aboa blah blah blah...well our push back tug has malfunctioned and we're sort of stuck on top of it. So MTC is on their way out and I believe we'll have to get jacked off. Shouldn't take too long but once we're jacked off this tug and".......................then I realized what I said. NOPE...couldn't finish the PA.

 

[fastbird]

I heard a tower guy do this one...
TWR: AF1, cleared to land runway 25L
AF1: Negative, AF1 is landing on 19R
TWR: AF1, be advised 19R is not the active
AF1: It is now.
TWR: (with a new voice) Roger AF1 is cleared land any runway.

 

[epps]

Gotta love the Alpha Tango's in Daytona Beach...

It is a true story. The person was actually one of my students. He was from India and like so many that train in DAB, he could barely speak English.

He was over a lake (Disston) which is just north of Deland when he called. The controller said xxxAT we have you about 10 miles north of Deland. To this day I can still hear him saying with his Indian accent, "Oh no Daytona, xxxAT is over the water, not over the land".

 

[whatfuelpolicy]

Heard this one from an old ATC'er who swears it happened. If you spent any time around DAB you'll appreciate it.

N118AT: (In your best mid east accent) Daytona Approaching Controll, I am Vun Vun Eet Alpva Tango for landing instructions"

DAB App: 118AT say your position.

N118AT: Yes yes, for landing please.

DAB App: Sir, what is your position from Daytona?

N118AT: Dirka Dirka Mohammed Jihad (or something like that)

After a few more unsuccessful attempts:

DAB App: N118AT, are you over DeLand? (a GA field just outside the DAB class C)

N118AT: No, I am over dee water...................

Yeah.......I'm gonna have to go ahead and raise the BS flag on this one. N118AT belongs to ATP and was acquired by ATP in early 2000 new from the Piper store. I was employed by ATP from the time that N118AT was delivered until recently. Never had any pilots with accents like that and furthermore, ATP aircraft were not supposed to be going into KDAB unless approved by Dispatch, which I never approved. Chances are, if it was in a mid-east accent and actually happened, it was either Ari-Ben, ERAU, or DCA.

 

[The Drizzle]

there were so mant alpha tangos owned by pheonix middle-east at one point, i'm sure he couldn't remember the exact tailnumber, but thanks for all your research

 

[Sig]

but thanks for all your research

He didn't research it; he lived it! No plane from that school went ANYWHERE (unless a training flight to a pre-approved airport... with an instructor on board) unless HE said so.

 

[The Drizzle]

sounds like riddle

 

[Sig]

sounds like riddle

But it's pronounced "Ay Tee Pee."


oops

And it's spelled "Sig," but pronounced Dumb Arse.

Gotcha.

 

[OPECJet]

Gotta get "jacked" off the tug.:laugh:

Funny for two reasons. One... obvious... Two, the ATL rampies....

 

[Crzipilot]

Down in ATL center, controller was rattling off instructions in his normal beat. Fairly busy, When Airtran checks on. Atl Ctr. answers Clittoris 101 roger.

Few mins go by...

Atl: Clittoris turn to head xxx....
After a few more times, we are rolling, I key in....did he just say Clittoris???

controller catches on, and now is dragging out the pronunciation, and giving Clittoris alot of attention.

Airtran boys didn't seemed amused at all. Few guys keyed up asking where the Clittoris was and such......made my day...

 

[DrewBlows]

I was blasted by a Comair -700 once, and pretended to key the mike, but keyed the intercom. I said "Thanks for the blow job, Comair, that's the second time you f---ed us". My FO thought I transmitted and almost died.

How bad is that really? My captains swear that airplanes behind us can't even tell, I think they are crazy. I digress.

Atlanta, a thunderstorm overhead, every ramp is closed because of lightning, everyone who has starteed taxiing has their engines shut down. Some bright individual inquires about the delay...

"...ground what's the delay for?" (Here's your sign.)

Same delay, a few brave souls have tested the waters and departed. Things have started moving, but not very fast.

"Ground, Delta 123, can you give us a heads up when it's our turn? We don't want to get caught with our pants down."

...several seconds of uncomfortable silence, I couldn't help myself.

"What are you doing with your pants down?"

Game on.

After another minute or so of comments such as "What is Southwest doing here?", ground finally sounded off.

"I don't have time for this guys."

 

[John Pennekamp]

How bad is that really? My captains swear that airplanes behind us can't even tell, I think they are crazy. I digress.

Atlanta, a thunderstorm overhead, every ramp is closed because of lightning, everyone who has starteed taxiing has their engines shut down. Some bright individual inquires about the delay...

"...ground what's the delay for?" (Here's your sign.)

Same delay, a few brave souls have tested the waters and departed. Things have started moving, but not very fast.

"Ground, Delta 123, can you give us a heads up when it's our turn? We don't want to get caught with our pants down."

...several seconds of uncomfortable silence, I couldn't help myself.

"What are you doing with your pants down?"

Game on.

After another minute or so of comments such as "What is Southwest doing here?", ground finally sounded off.

"I don't have time for this guys."

About the blow, wouldn't have been that bad, except that I was in an ATRah back then.

And ground delays get pretty funny at Hartsfield. It's like Open Mike Night at the Improv.

 

[CF34-3B1]

Yeah.......I'm gonna have to go ahead and raise the BS flag on this one. N118AT belongs to ATP and was acquired by ATP in early 2000 new from the Piper store. I was employed by ATP from the time that N118AT was delivered until recently. Never had any pilots with accents like that and furthermore, ATP aircraft were not supposed to be going into KDAB unless approved by Dispatch, which I never approved. Chances are, if it was in a mid-east accent and actually happened, it was either Ari-Ben, ERAU, or DCA.

This story happened before your 118AT was born.

http://registry.faa.gov/aircraftinquiry/NNumSQL.asp?NNumbertxt=118AT

Deregistered Aircraft 1 of 1

Aircraft Description
Serial Number 3879A0136 Type Registration CorporationManufacturer NamePIPER Certificate Issue Date04/28/1993 ModelPA-38-112 Mode S Code50044775Year ManufacturerNone Cancel Date01/20/1996 Reason for CancellationDestroyed Exported To

 

[Headfake14]

...another ATL delay...we're all shut down. I'm in 'hotel mode' in the ATRah...I asked ground if she was sure we'd be sitting there for a while cause "we have some folks that need to use the potty". she says

"yea it'll be a while, potty use is approved and cleared for number 2"

of course a few other guys chimed in on that one.

 

[Morning Wood]

It's always amazing how many people have actually heard ATC conversations like this one above or the "F'ing bored, not stupid" one.

I wonder how many people have actually heard this one too:

Center: Airline XYZ please expidite descent to cross [intersection] at 11,000
Airline XYZ: Ahh, unable [intersection] at 11,000
Center: Don't you guys have airbrakes on that thing?
Airline XYZ: Airbrakes are for our screwups, not yours.

Just like all the people who have claimed to have heard the exchange about
telling the professional pilots to remove their gear pins. Or about when
so and so was going to remove the "training wheels" from their DC-10-30.

 

[epps]

Yeah.......I'm gonna have to go ahead and raise the BS flag on this one. N118AT belongs to ATP and was acquired by ATP in early 2000 new from the Piper store. I was employed by ATP from the time that N118AT was delivered until recently. Never had any pilots with accents like that and furthermore, ATP aircraft were not supposed to be going into KDAB unless approved by Dispatch, which I never approved. Chances are, if it was in a mid-east accent and actually happened, it was either Ari-Ben, ERAU, or DCA.

It is a true story. I was an instructor at Phoenix East from 2001 thru 2003. They had lots of forgein students and a number of airplanes that ended in Alpha Tango. I was there that day and the student was mine. I never said it was 118AT. I don't remember the tail number. We were in a Warrior that day, so the tail number would have been something between 134AT and 140AT.

 

[30West]

"Speedbird 123 can you make 190 by XYZ?"

"I'm sure we can but we won't be able to bring the aircraft with us I'm afraid."

Heard somewhere back in the 80's IIRC

 

[8HourPilot]

(ZAU Center) : Calling Chicago Center say again?

(Unnamed FO) : Your MOM.

(ZAU Center) : No Pal, Your Mom.

(Unnamed FO) : Let's not bering Nancy into this.

 

[Jack Mehoff]

(un named FO) Delays to Swann depatures thats unusual...
(un named CA) You're unusual.....
(un named FO) You!
(un named CA) You!

 

[8HourPilot]

Uh there were NO delays over Swann, that was a fun night. The ATIS should have mentioned moderate death all quadrants.

(un named FO) Delays to Swan depatures thats unusual...
(un named CA) You're unusual.....
(un named FO) You!
(un named CA) You!

 

[Jack Mehoff]

Uh there were NO delays over Swann, that was a fun night. The ATIS should have mentioned moderate death all quadrants.

The best part was sitting out on the ramp 30 feet from the gate for 3 hours with a full plane and an MEL'd lav.

 

[8HourPilot]

With that blonde hair and morally casual attitude, even you could get laid in three hours at the gate.

The best part was sitting out on the ramp 30 feet from the gate for 3 hours with a full plane and an MEL'd lav.

 

[Jack Mehoff]

and with you having the title of the best 8 hour pilot ever. I bet all the skanky FA's are all up on your junk! yeah baaby