Overheard on ATC

[The Drizzle]

I had a moment on friday where i giggled like a 12 year old.

NY Center: ComairXXX, you going to Bangor today?

say it out lound, in a NY accent


oh and last sunday in LGA

LGA ground: Delta 193X, you gonna be able to fit by the falcon there by the 5 towers?
Delta 193XX: yeah we can make it, we only wish we were that wide.
Unidentified: that's what she said.
LGA ground: laughter

 

[johndt]

Out by KC:

ATC: Hey, gimme your best rate through 10, please.
A/C: Ok, we'll do our best but we've got a big load in our shorts today.

 

[Mysteryofflight]

Heard by a Pinnacle F/O in DTW

Metro Appch: "Flagship XYZ Can you give me best forward speed?"
Flagship XYZ: "We're goin' balls to the wall"
Metro Appch: "And Flagship ABC can you follow Company at best forward?"
Flagship ABC: (in female voice)"Well we can't go balls to the wall but we've got em wide open"

 

[SKYW Pilot]

"Skywest, best forward speed."

"Roger. Best forward... we've gone plaid!"

(Spaceballs, for those that don't get it!)

 

[Soverytired]

Heard this in an airport where alot of unexpected weather diversions were going from the main hub airport to a sattellite field.

AC#1: "Approach, AC1 level 10000, delcaring min fuel."

APPCH: "Roger."

AC#2 "Approach, AC2 level 10000, delaring min fuel."

APPCH: "Roger"

AC#3 (and so forth for about the next 6 planes)

AC#7 Approah, AC7 level 10000, declaring min fuel.

APPCH: (obviously overworked and getting stressed)
"ROGER, CALL ME BACK WHEN IT'S A FUEL EMERGENCY"

 

[jim718181]

I heard this one a while back

Female pilot: Jax center can we get a shortcut, we'd like to go direct to xxx
Anonymous voice: Your whole career has been a shortcut

 

[SKYW Pilot]

Two things every instrument pilot has to learn...

1) "Minimum fuel" and...

2) "Unable"

"Skywest, advise when able to copy holding instructions."

"Unable, minimum fuel."

-------------

"Skywest, pick up ATIS Alpha."

"Unable, minimum fuel."

 

[kmox29]

I heard this one a while back

Female pilot: Jax center can we get a shortcut, we'd like to go direct to xxx
Anonymous voice: Your whole career has been a shortcut

It's always amazing how many people have actually heard ATC conversations like this one above or the "F'ing bored, not stupid" one.

I wonder how many people have actually heard this one too:

Center: Airline XYZ please expidite descent to cross [intersection] at 11,000
Airline XYZ: Ahh, unable [intersection] at 11,000
Center: Don't you guys have airbrakes on that thing?
Airline XYZ: Airbrakes are for our screwups, not yours.

 

[mckpickle]

I was taxing into some airport late one rainy night with a female FO. There was a lot of construction on the ramp so we slowed unsure of which route to take.

US....Ummmmmground, whats the best way to the gate from here.

Jetlink xxxx just go around the back

Us.....ok ground we'll take it in the back side.

 

[Flyingfool77]

I got this one from my pops. Release times for flow control in Canada and Europe are called slot times. Ok here we go.

The controllers are very serious over there. No laughing or joking around on the radio. Plus imagine this with a heavy English accent speaking very proper.

Controller “Speedbird XXX hold your position. I’m going to pass a virgin in-front of you with a tight slot”.

Silence for a couple of seconds…….

Controller still in a very serious voice, “ I can’t believe I just said that.”

Got this one from a co-worker….

British Airways was pushing off the gate.

Controller “ Speedbird, do you have a problem?”

Speedbird “Sorry it seems we’ve squashed a fellow.”