KNOCK, KNOCK, WHO'S THERE?
Hello everybody. Its me, the 'ole Gardner's, here. Lately I been spendin' most of my free time over at the big airlines Boy, do they have 'emselves some real problems. Every times I looks up in the sky and sees one of them magnificent flyin' machines zing by I am thrilled to the bottom of my britches. I knows just how much schoolin' it takes to keep them things up there. I'll never be able to do it—I can hardly keep my trusty tractor from tippin' over as I bump along over the clumps in the fields. If y'all knows anythin' at all 'bout me, then y'all knows I just hates to see the good folks who flys them airplanes treated badly. That's why I likes helpin' the guys and gals in the front of them big shiny birds.
Nots too long ago, I finds out that some of the rich folks who once flew on the big airliners now use small "business" jets to flit willy-nilly 'round the country. Sort of caught my attention, don't y'know. Mind you—I'll never have 'nough spendin' money to fly in one of these high-priced machines, but I begins to wonder who does. Seems like there are lots of these rich folks in the good 'ole U.S. of A.—movie stars, businessmen and women, sports heros, politicians and the like—not exactly the kind of folks that lives in my neck of the woods.
But, these folks is smart. I guess that's how some of 'em gots to be so rich. Y'know, they figured out it costs lots of money to own a jet plane, even a small one, so they joined up with a bunch of other rich folks just like 'emselves and they shares these expensive things. Sort of like the co-op back home where we shares harvesters, grain elevators and the like. What a great idea.
These airplane share outfits, they calls 'emselves "fractional jet operators." The biggest one goes by the name "NetJets." I finds out there's several other such co-ops around Y'all probably already knows all this stuff—but me, I don't know too much 'bout these outfits. In fact, like most folks 'round these parts where I lives, I didn't even know these kinds of high-flyin' limo services were even in business. They wants to keep things kinda' quiet, don't y'know. With all the folks in this great country goin' hungry and homeless, I guess they don't want too many people knowin' just how much money is being spent on such lavishness and who's doin' all that spendin'.
Anyways, I begin to thinkin' 'bout how much fun it must be to pilot one of these little jets. Hey, you gets to hob-knob with the movers and shakers in this great country of ours while you takes 'em to exotic places. I figured, since the folks that use these little jets are so rich, the pilots that keep 'em safe must be doin' OK. Well, they're doin' very well at NetJets—damn well, in fact! Sort of puts some of the flyin' jobs at the big airlines to shame. But, the folks that flys for another one of these outfits that calls itself "Flight Options" have a different tale to tell.
As fate would have it, one day a stranger came into the 'ole country store back home to get some supplies. Seems he was a pilot for this here Flight Options outfit. There was a bunch of us locals hangin' 'round the pot-bellied stove that day and this pilot starts tellin' us just how badly he and his crewmates are treated back where he works. Y'know, these poor folks spend lots more days away from their families than the much better paid NetJets pilots do. This pilot said many of his fellow crewmates work 14-hour days, seven or eight days in a row. Most of the time they're away from home, they're put up in flea bag hotels not fit for my huntin' dogs or they're forced to wait out at the flyin' field for hours at a time with nuttiin' to do. When they do fly, they can be up in the air 10 hours or more a day with nuttin' good to eat. Damn, that's a whole lot harder than what I do when I'm out plowin' the back 40. It doesn't seem too good a life to this country boy.
The pilot told us the big bosses who run Flight Options doubled the costs for pilots to insure their families if they get sick and have to go see the doc. And just the other day, the pilots' vacation system got an unwelcome overhaul that forces 'em to go on vacation when they don't want to and to fly overtime without gettin' paid for it for a year. To top it off, when they do get their paychecks, they're nowhere near as generous as NetJets pilots take home. Not only ain't the pay in the same neighborhood as that at NetJets, it ain't even in the same state—maybe not even on the same planet! Where I come from, we'd've had us a lynchin' by now if someone treated us that poorly. Y'all gots to know, my mule gets treated a whole lot better and all he does is pull a plow through the fields.
This poor pilot had a bunch more to say, but by then I heard enough. You knows me--I always out lookin' for new fields to plow and new seeds to sow. But the world has changed so much in the last few years. It's not been easy for me keepin' up. I had to put my 'ole Underwood typewriter out to pasture and learn how to use one of those newfangled keyboards attached to a magic gadget called a computer. I don't have a clue how the damn thing works inside, but it sure is a lot faster than "huntin' and peckin'" on that 'ole typewriter used to be. It's been a long hard struggle for this country boy, let me tell you, truly. But, take heart Brothers and Sisters, I'm all wired up and here to help y'all in your time of need!
In the weeks and months to come, I'm goin' to do some further checkin' into this Flight Options outfit and find out, with my own eyes and ears, just how the bosses treat the pilots that work there. I'll let y'all know what I finds out and then I'm goin' to share some down home thinkin' with y'all. If things is as bad as I been told, I gots some ideas 'bout how you pilots can help straighten things out and help bring in the harvest you so richly deserve. I understands y'all've already taken the first step and formed a co-op of your own—your Union. What a powerful tool a Union is—that is if y'all support it and pay your dues
Y'all should think of payin' your Union dues as an investment in your future. I invest in my farm by plowin' the fields and sowin' the seeds. The time and effort I put in and the costs of the seeds and the fuel to run my tractor are sort of like me payin' my dues. Then I gots to be patient while the seeds take root and come out of the ground. It takes time for the harvest to come in, don't y'know. Even so, sometimes farmin' is downright disappointin' and the harvest takes longer than expected.
There're all kinds of catastrophes when you work a farm. Sometimes it doesn't rain when needed—sometimes the wind blows so hard the topsoil disappears—sometimes the fields are invaded by locusts or other pests (sort of like your bosses, I been told)—and sometimes there ain't enough help to bring in the crops (not enough pilots payin' their dues). But, if I I'm patient and keeps at it and don't lose faith in what I'm a'doin'—or what my friends and neighbors are a'doin' to help me—I'll eventually bring in a bountiful harvest for me and my family and we will all prosper. So will y'all if you follows my advice. It has worked many times before. The simple truth is, you gots to be tough when you plow the fields for a livin'.
In the meantime, if I was you, I'd quit helpin' out extra around the barn until I was properly rewarded, respected and taken care of by the bosses. Yes, I'd still do my assigned chores so I didn't get myself in any trouble, but I wouldn't raise a single finger to do an extra lick of work. That is, of course, unless I was lickin' someone's backside in the hopes he would leave me alone and quit whippin' me. Now, I certainly don't think y'all should do anything illegal for or against this outfit you work for. That will just get you in trouble with your bosses and, maybe, even the Sheriff. But I don't think you pilots should do a lick more work for your bosses than the minimum 'til they quit abusin' y'all and recognize your true worth.
One thing I can tell y'all for sure, the more folks workin' the fields, the quicker the harvest comes in. So, next time y'all sittin' on your haunches at the air patch for hours and hours with nuttin' to do, why not spend some extra time checkin' out the machine you gonna fly. The pilot who came through town said many of the planes he's asked to fly are in a sorry state, so I knows y'all can probably find things wrong with 'em if you take the time to look 'round. From what I seen, airplanes are a whole lot more complicated than my simple tractor and I can always find somethin' that ain't workin' just right on it. When ya does find somethin' broke, let the people who supposed to fix 'em know 'bout what's wrong before you go flyin'. Ask 'em to fix it so it works just the way it supposed to. Seems like a good idea to me to complain 'bout a broken machine where and when y'all discover it ain't just right. There be no place for broken or dangerous equipment down on the farm. I'm sure they doesn't belong in the sky much, either.
Y'all need to communicate this message to some of your Brothers and Sisters that don't speak the same folksy language we do down home. Like I says, in the comin' weeks and months I'll have a whole lot more to say 'bout how to help spread the word and speed things along to bring in the harvest. In the meantime, keep your plows in the ground and your heads held up high. Let everyone you fly with know the Gardner has begun workin' the fields at Flight Options. The harvest—it is a'comin'.
Your friend,
THE GARDNER
Hello everybody. Its me, the 'ole Gardner's, here. Lately I been spendin' most of my free time over at the big airlines Boy, do they have 'emselves some real problems. Every times I looks up in the sky and sees one of them magnificent flyin' machines zing by I am thrilled to the bottom of my britches. I knows just how much schoolin' it takes to keep them things up there. I'll never be able to do it—I can hardly keep my trusty tractor from tippin' over as I bump along over the clumps in the fields. If y'all knows anythin' at all 'bout me, then y'all knows I just hates to see the good folks who flys them airplanes treated badly. That's why I likes helpin' the guys and gals in the front of them big shiny birds.
Nots too long ago, I finds out that some of the rich folks who once flew on the big airliners now use small "business" jets to flit willy-nilly 'round the country. Sort of caught my attention, don't y'know. Mind you—I'll never have 'nough spendin' money to fly in one of these high-priced machines, but I begins to wonder who does. Seems like there are lots of these rich folks in the good 'ole U.S. of A.—movie stars, businessmen and women, sports heros, politicians and the like—not exactly the kind of folks that lives in my neck of the woods.
But, these folks is smart. I guess that's how some of 'em gots to be so rich. Y'know, they figured out it costs lots of money to own a jet plane, even a small one, so they joined up with a bunch of other rich folks just like 'emselves and they shares these expensive things. Sort of like the co-op back home where we shares harvesters, grain elevators and the like. What a great idea.
These airplane share outfits, they calls 'emselves "fractional jet operators." The biggest one goes by the name "NetJets." I finds out there's several other such co-ops around Y'all probably already knows all this stuff—but me, I don't know too much 'bout these outfits. In fact, like most folks 'round these parts where I lives, I didn't even know these kinds of high-flyin' limo services were even in business. They wants to keep things kinda' quiet, don't y'know. With all the folks in this great country goin' hungry and homeless, I guess they don't want too many people knowin' just how much money is being spent on such lavishness and who's doin' all that spendin'.
Anyways, I begin to thinkin' 'bout how much fun it must be to pilot one of these little jets. Hey, you gets to hob-knob with the movers and shakers in this great country of ours while you takes 'em to exotic places. I figured, since the folks that use these little jets are so rich, the pilots that keep 'em safe must be doin' OK. Well, they're doin' very well at NetJets—damn well, in fact! Sort of puts some of the flyin' jobs at the big airlines to shame. But, the folks that flys for another one of these outfits that calls itself "Flight Options" have a different tale to tell.
As fate would have it, one day a stranger came into the 'ole country store back home to get some supplies. Seems he was a pilot for this here Flight Options outfit. There was a bunch of us locals hangin' 'round the pot-bellied stove that day and this pilot starts tellin' us just how badly he and his crewmates are treated back where he works. Y'know, these poor folks spend lots more days away from their families than the much better paid NetJets pilots do. This pilot said many of his fellow crewmates work 14-hour days, seven or eight days in a row. Most of the time they're away from home, they're put up in flea bag hotels not fit for my huntin' dogs or they're forced to wait out at the flyin' field for hours at a time with nuttiin' to do. When they do fly, they can be up in the air 10 hours or more a day with nuttin' good to eat. Damn, that's a whole lot harder than what I do when I'm out plowin' the back 40. It doesn't seem too good a life to this country boy.
The pilot told us the big bosses who run Flight Options doubled the costs for pilots to insure their families if they get sick and have to go see the doc. And just the other day, the pilots' vacation system got an unwelcome overhaul that forces 'em to go on vacation when they don't want to and to fly overtime without gettin' paid for it for a year. To top it off, when they do get their paychecks, they're nowhere near as generous as NetJets pilots take home. Not only ain't the pay in the same neighborhood as that at NetJets, it ain't even in the same state—maybe not even on the same planet! Where I come from, we'd've had us a lynchin' by now if someone treated us that poorly. Y'all gots to know, my mule gets treated a whole lot better and all he does is pull a plow through the fields.
This poor pilot had a bunch more to say, but by then I heard enough. You knows me--I always out lookin' for new fields to plow and new seeds to sow. But the world has changed so much in the last few years. It's not been easy for me keepin' up. I had to put my 'ole Underwood typewriter out to pasture and learn how to use one of those newfangled keyboards attached to a magic gadget called a computer. I don't have a clue how the damn thing works inside, but it sure is a lot faster than "huntin' and peckin'" on that 'ole typewriter used to be. It's been a long hard struggle for this country boy, let me tell you, truly. But, take heart Brothers and Sisters, I'm all wired up and here to help y'all in your time of need!
In the weeks and months to come, I'm goin' to do some further checkin' into this Flight Options outfit and find out, with my own eyes and ears, just how the bosses treat the pilots that work there. I'll let y'all know what I finds out and then I'm goin' to share some down home thinkin' with y'all. If things is as bad as I been told, I gots some ideas 'bout how you pilots can help straighten things out and help bring in the harvest you so richly deserve. I understands y'all've already taken the first step and formed a co-op of your own—your Union. What a powerful tool a Union is—that is if y'all support it and pay your dues
Y'all should think of payin' your Union dues as an investment in your future. I invest in my farm by plowin' the fields and sowin' the seeds. The time and effort I put in and the costs of the seeds and the fuel to run my tractor are sort of like me payin' my dues. Then I gots to be patient while the seeds take root and come out of the ground. It takes time for the harvest to come in, don't y'know. Even so, sometimes farmin' is downright disappointin' and the harvest takes longer than expected.
There're all kinds of catastrophes when you work a farm. Sometimes it doesn't rain when needed—sometimes the wind blows so hard the topsoil disappears—sometimes the fields are invaded by locusts or other pests (sort of like your bosses, I been told)—and sometimes there ain't enough help to bring in the crops (not enough pilots payin' their dues). But, if I I'm patient and keeps at it and don't lose faith in what I'm a'doin'—or what my friends and neighbors are a'doin' to help me—I'll eventually bring in a bountiful harvest for me and my family and we will all prosper. So will y'all if you follows my advice. It has worked many times before. The simple truth is, you gots to be tough when you plow the fields for a livin'.
In the meantime, if I was you, I'd quit helpin' out extra around the barn until I was properly rewarded, respected and taken care of by the bosses. Yes, I'd still do my assigned chores so I didn't get myself in any trouble, but I wouldn't raise a single finger to do an extra lick of work. That is, of course, unless I was lickin' someone's backside in the hopes he would leave me alone and quit whippin' me. Now, I certainly don't think y'all should do anything illegal for or against this outfit you work for. That will just get you in trouble with your bosses and, maybe, even the Sheriff. But I don't think you pilots should do a lick more work for your bosses than the minimum 'til they quit abusin' y'all and recognize your true worth.
One thing I can tell y'all for sure, the more folks workin' the fields, the quicker the harvest comes in. So, next time y'all sittin' on your haunches at the air patch for hours and hours with nuttin' to do, why not spend some extra time checkin' out the machine you gonna fly. The pilot who came through town said many of the planes he's asked to fly are in a sorry state, so I knows y'all can probably find things wrong with 'em if you take the time to look 'round. From what I seen, airplanes are a whole lot more complicated than my simple tractor and I can always find somethin' that ain't workin' just right on it. When ya does find somethin' broke, let the people who supposed to fix 'em know 'bout what's wrong before you go flyin'. Ask 'em to fix it so it works just the way it supposed to. Seems like a good idea to me to complain 'bout a broken machine where and when y'all discover it ain't just right. There be no place for broken or dangerous equipment down on the farm. I'm sure they doesn't belong in the sky much, either.
Y'all need to communicate this message to some of your Brothers and Sisters that don't speak the same folksy language we do down home. Like I says, in the comin' weeks and months I'll have a whole lot more to say 'bout how to help spread the word and speed things along to bring in the harvest. In the meantime, keep your plows in the ground and your heads held up high. Let everyone you fly with know the Gardner has begun workin' the fields at Flight Options. The harvest—it is a'comin'.
Your friend,
THE GARDNER
Or.... 2) Stand tall and earn respect. 
Actually, after the Management games stopped, they realized the pilots were on the same team; now they're all working together to harvest a bumper crop and the relationship between the Company and the Union has never been better. Everyone knows what happens in contract battles. 
