Idiotic Radio Calls

[Skull-One]

Just remembered another one. I was in training when it happened at Comair Academy in Sanford. We were in the runup area and heard a very interesting conversation.

Pilot in thick Chinese accent: "Cessna 12345 stopfuqingaround."

<Silence>

Controller: "Who was that?"

Pilot: "Cessna 12345 stopfuqingaround!"

Controller: "WHAT?"

Pilot: "Cessna 12345 stop**fuqing**around!"

The instructor quickly jumped on the radio and saved the day.

The poor student was China East Airlines trainee and he was trying to say, "Cessna 12345, Sanford Ground."

It was priceless.........

 

[CitationLover]

just last week over CLT

CLT ATC: "Piedmont XXXX descend and maintain six thousand"

Piedmont XXXX: mumble

CLT ATC: "Piedmont XXXX descend and maintain six thousand"

Piedmont XXXX: mumble

Piedmont XXXX: "Sorry about that Charlotte, my partner's mike is up his nose, descend and maintain six thousand."


also any other CLT travellers love the "auctioneer"?

 

[upndsky]

Absolutely. It could be piss-poor weather with everyone going missed and asking for vectors he still sounds cheerfull!

How about "Nine-uuur" at RDU?

G'daaaaaaaaaayyyyyy

 

[SSDD]

Not as witty as the rest, but how about anybody who checks in by saying "checking in"... DUH!!!

 

[panampilot]

That's comparable to "with you". Obviously you wanker!

 

[Ace757]

I was flying down to the keys last week, and I was working with Miami Approach when some UAL pilot went through is whole shpiel about welcome aboard United, yada yada yada. Approach said im not ur cabin, check ur intercom next time

 

[climbhappy]

the clt controler we all love

citationlover,
\
\i believe he was a preachure before ATC......his takeoff clearances had the pitch, pace and rythm of a guy calling a horse race...am i right?

these guys brighten an otherwise mundane eight leg or whatever day....god Bless 'em!

 

[EMB145XR]

Flying into CLE a few years ago we were getting vectored for final into the flight path of a B757. I was just about to key the mic to ask what was going on when approach asked me if I had the 757 in sight. I said "Yes, he's right in front of me, can't miss him." A short pause followed by the controller saying, "well....... please do. You're also cleared for the visual." Anybody who flies into CLE may have heard that controller. He's known for witty phrases and always makes you smile. It's always fun when you've been vectored, slowed, step-descended and then handed off to a new controller. It's great when the "new" controller is this particular guy and his comment is always, "previous controller no factor, normal speed direct to the marker."

 

[great cornholio]

Heres some from my CFI days.
Citation landed and made like the 2nd turn off. Twr "Citation 12345 Now that everyones lunch is against your door taxi to the ramp with me"

On ATIS one day same controller "Remarks hazy all quardrents" (Summer day in the north east)

Cessna 12345 "Twr be advised flock of like 100 birds on final"
Twr "Roger...All aircraft be advised of birds on final"
Cessna 12345 "They are kinda hard to see thru the haze though"
Twr "Roger...Everyone watch out for hazy birds on final"

Twr with stuck mic "wow you guys are gonna be bad tonight...blah blah blah" Few sec later telephone rings " Blah Twr recorded line blah speaking. Yeah this is Blah from xxx FBO just wanted to let you know you have a stuck mic...OH..click"
Aircraft trying to get into class D "Uh tower cessna 12345 sorry to interrupt your phone call but we are inbound over the bends with Echo"

 

[newfo]

Approach: 33W confirm you have hotel.

33W: Uhhhmm, we're flying into McCarren International. Uhhhmm, we don't have a hotel room yet.

approach control was laughing too hard to respond. The next several calls went like this:

Approach: United 5, descend to FL220.

United 5: United 5 down to FL220; we don't have a hotel room either.

____________________________________________________

Apparently the loadmaster on a USAF C-130 was invited to take the engineer's seat for awhile. He started jabbering away, not realizing that he was transmitting on Uniform instead of over the ICS.

LM: "Hey, this is great! I see why you engineers like this seat so much -- you can see everything from here! This is just like the starship Enterprise! All ahead, Mr. Sulu, warp factor ten!"

Followed shortly afterward by:

ATC: "You wanna get back on intercom, Captain Kirk? You're transmitting on my frequency!"



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