Idiotic Radio Calls

[Freight Dog]

The other day, we're following a Shorts 360 on a visual

Me: Aloha XXX on a visual for 35, lost the Shorts.

TWR: Shorts' on the ground..

 

[flying4food]

Good lord, we all know that you got these from avweb. Try being original, you jerk off.

Well excuse me, a friend passed those on to me a month or so ago,, BTW, grow up!!!

 

[FmrFreightDog]

This one came to me second hand, so I can't personally vouch for it, but.....


Northwest 747 freighter and ANG C-5 taxiing out in ANC at the same time about 8 years ago or so....

ANC GND tells the C-5 to follow Northwest, and the C-5 guy decides to get cute about it....

"Sure, we'll follow the little guy..."
"Hey Northwest, that's a cute airplane, did you make it yourself?"
etc, etc, etc...... All the while, the 747 crew is getting more and more fed up.....

Finally, the C-5 guy says, "Hey, what's that little guy gross out at, anyway?"

One of the NW guys grabs the mic and says, "About 250,000 dollars a year last time I checked.... And yourself??"

Predictable silence from the C-5

____________________________________________________

Also secondhand, but from the same reliable source......

Right after they built the new runways and the midfield terminal in ATL, the controllers hadn't quite gotten into their rhythm about when to launch and when to cross aircraft that had landed. Anyway, there was one particularly crusty old Eastern captain from back in the DC-3 era who was bumping up against retirement and he had been waiting quite a while to cross the inboard. Conversation goes like this.....

EAL: "Hey, were you going to let Eastern 123 cross anytime this week?"

ATL: "Tell you what, Eastern... you worry about holding the brakes, and I'll worry about getting you to the gate. Sound fair?"

EAL: "Tell you what, Tower... why don't I come up there and kick your ass across the ramp?"

ATL: "Um.. yeah.. ok, you're cleared to cross 27R."

Ahh, the good old days.

 

[upndsky]

This happened a couple of years ago while flying a ragged-out C-172 from NC to Charlottesville, VA. I was getting flight following from Richmond Approach when the transponder began to act up, losing the Mode C and then Identing all on its own. After fiddleing with it awhile, the transponder started working again. What makes this next exchange interesting is that the controller was female!

RIC: Cessna 123, looks like that transponder is working again.

Me: Yeah, you just have to hit it a couple of times to make it work right.

RIC: Yeah, just like a wife!

How do your reply to that?

 

[TheAmazingRando]

BTW, grow up!!! [/B][/QUOTE]

Hey, I became a pilot so I didn't have to grow up!

 

[fracflyer]

CLE Center: United 256, Slow to minimum speed. They're holding for Chicago.

United 256: How slow do you want us to go?

CLE Center: Slow down until you get scared. That'll be slow enough.

 

[inthepool]

Heard this afternoon at Spirit of St. Louis (SUS)

Hawker: "Afternoon Spirit Tower, Hawker 12345 checking in with you, about to make a beautiful landing"

Tower: "Hawker 12345 you're cleared to land 8R, and it better be beautiful 'cause we're all watching."

The Hawker lands, and the following is heard:

Tower: "Hawker 12345 make a left at the next highspeed, contact ground .7, and you got a 9.5, a 9.25, and a 7.5 from the Russian judge."

 

[acaTerry]

BTW, grow up!!! [/QUOTE] [/B]
Hey, I became a pilot so I didn't have to grow up!

Obviously not, judging by the waste of reading your posts have been. What are you doing here? Didn't school resume session yet?

 

[chperplt]

Heard this one today

BDL approach: Cessna 12345, I can't find your flight plan, where did you file out of?

Censsna: Ahh.. we filed on www.file.com

 

[ERJDRVR]

Heard on Miami Center last week.



Miami Center ----"Southwest XXXX, Traffic twelve o'clock FL220, a JUNGLE JET "

Southwest XXXX --- " Southwest XXX. looking for traffic"

Miami Center ----" Chautauqua 6XXX, Traffic 12 o'clock, 7-3-7, FL 200"

Chautauqua 6XXX ---" Center, we prefer the term
SOUTH AMERICAN REGIONAL TRANSPORTATION "

Miami Center (confused) ----"Uh, there is no way I can remember that, I will just call you a E145"

USAIR XXX ----" We call them career inhibitors"

Chautauqua 6XXX ---"That's what we call you old crusty guys that put us all in this position in the first place"


............DEAD SILENCE........