Idiotic Radio Calls

[skyking1976]

Props to all the ORD Center controllers. They are as skilled as they are witty!

Skyking

 

[Khirsah]

Just today...err...yesterday while heading to HUF I heard someone (only caught the a$$ end of it) make an entire turbulence/buckle-seat-belts cabin announcement on guard. It wasn't idiotic. It was very professional sounding. It is truly a shame the cabin didn't get to hear it.

This is the first time I've heard that happen, but I assume it happens from time to time, yes?

I've also heard a CAP flight making pattern calls on guard. Though that was a little more idiotic. They must've had their volume turned down because after a while they had 2 or 3 controllers screaming, "CAP FLIGHT, YOU'RE ON GUARD!!!"

 

[generaltso]

I was doing something the previous controller told me too. After the handoff the new controller asked what I was doing, which I guess wasn't right. He said "Nxxxxx, roger, the previous controller is no longer a factor"

Also a couple days ago I heard a controller trying to get in touch with an aircraft. After about 4 calls he says "Nxxxxx, acknowledge my transmission by remaining silent"

 

[climbhappy]

i vote for Boston as the friendliest, wittiest, group of controllers...anyone ever hear the guy sign off with "Moca Hagati"

 

[chperplt]

MOCHA HAGOTDI. It means to Make our Customers Happy and Have a Good Time Doing It.

 

[AirBoard]

i vote for Boston as the friendliest, wittiest, group of controllers...anyone ever hear the guy sign off with "Moca Hagati"

Or Asta La Vista, or a bunch of other languages. I think he picks up a greeting for every nationality of airlines that fly in. There's something in Icelandic for that airlines - can't remeber though.

 

[46Driver]

I always wondered what MOCHA HAGATI meant.....

Did hear this going into Boston one day:

Boston Center: "Delta xxx, maintain max forward speed for spacing."

Delta xxx (with a deep Southern drawl): "Roger, tongue out, ears back."

 

[T-Gates]

I'm lucky if I make 1 or 2 non-moronic radio calls after a few highspeeds...and let's not forget the great PA's after 5 hours of sleep.

Yeah, just last night I made a beautiful PA to just myself. I forgot to hit the button.

Then I asked for lav-service on Ramp freq.

It was a real Darwin-tastic day for me

--03M

 

[DoubleDown]

"Minneapolis Center 123BE has the field in sight and would like to cancel IFR"

"Roger 123BE cancellation recieved, sqwak V and F'n R. Good Day"

 

[FLB717]

Heard this in ATL

76 pulls onto taxiway and stops not contacting ground

ATLG "Delta 123 Heavy ATL Grd"

3 calls with no response

D123H"Delta 123 Heavy ready to taxi"

ATLG"Delta what are you doing?"

D123H"uhh? what do you mean?"

ATLG"Why did you taxi onto my taxiway and stop without calling?"

D123H"The ramp told us to pull out and the call you"

sort of kiddin
ATLG"They did, did they well see about that"

Delta Captian get on radio (female)
D123H"ground I do NOT like your attitude"

ATLG" My wife says the same thing"

OtherAC"hey wasnt I married to you?"

AnotherAC"Ja ever get you truck back?"

SomeAC"That reminds me I need to call home"

D123H makes no comment and turns and taxis to the active.



from the inyour face department (2 years ago)

ATLRamp "Delta234 (727) follow Citrus to 3 North contact ground .9"

Delta234 " Yeah we ll follow ValueJunk"

Some Citrus "Thanks Western for lettin us go first"

 

[T-Gates]

ATLRamp "Delta234 (727) follow Citrus to 3 North contact ground .9"

Delta234 " Yeah we ll follow ValueJunk"

Some Citrus "Thanks Western for lettin us go first"

Now THATS funny!

--03M

 

[Looking4Traffic]

About 10 years ago I was flying a charter trip into Seattle with an arrival time of about 3:00 a.m. When I say that we were the only airplane aloft in the Pacific Northwest, I'm not exaggerating very much.

Anyway, our last center controller asked us if we had time to hear a quick joke before turning us over to approach. We said "sure" and the following transmission followed:

"What's the difference between an air traffic controller and Big Foot?"

"Okay, we'll bite . . . what's the difference?"

"Well, there's been sightings of Big Foot!!"

 

[Swaayze]

On final to DFW, controller gets a stuck mike: "yeah, I...oh sh*t"

My Captain (PF): "Oop, don't say sh*t with a stuck mike"

 

[maddog805]

ATC - Traffic 12 o'clock 5 miles opposite direction, he'll pass a thousand feet below you.

ME - Roger in sight, he'll go blow me.

 

[StuckInASaab]

Heres one for all the Mesa H8rs. Heard this one the other day on Cleveland Center and it must have been either Piedmont, Comair or PSA as there were only a few of us on the frequency:

Cleveland Center: "Air Shuttle 5XXX, Descend and Maintain one five thousand"

Air Shuttle: "One five thousand, 5XXX"

Unidentified Voice: "Yeah, if we just did what you just did to the industry, I wouldnt want to say my call sign either."

Also heard this on while flying in the Northwest:

Minneapolis Center: "Lakes 3XXX, Traffic 12 o'clock one five miles, a flight of two p-51 mustangs"

Great Lakes: "Aah, sweet, we will definately be looking for them."

Minneapolis Center: "Do you mean that you dont normally look for traffic when we point it out."

Great Lakes: "Thats not what I meant, I just mean that we wil be looking a lot harder this time."