furlowedSF34
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- Jan 27, 2003
- Posts
- 29
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Idiotic Radio Calls
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CREOBED17
Member
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2003
- Posts
- 16
i heard a great one by a single-engine cessna filed I.F.R. while flying through colorado springs approach:
controller: "cessna xyz, i seemed to have lost you on radar...verify your level at 5 thousand and please recycle transponder."
cessna: "oh yeah, sorry about that sir - i accidentally gained over five hundred feet out here and shut my transponder off so you hopefully wouldn't notice."
classic!
controller: "cessna xyz, i seemed to have lost you on radar...verify your level at 5 thousand and please recycle transponder."
cessna: "oh yeah, sorry about that sir - i accidentally gained over five hundred feet out here and shut my transponder off so you hopefully wouldn't notice."
classic!
cardinalflyer
Member
- Joined
- Jan 3, 2003
- Posts
- 21
From Chicago Center – Year unknown
“Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes? N123, the faster you go, the quicker you’ll get here.”
“American 220, EENY, MEENY, MINEY, MOE...How do you hear my radio?”
“ Air Wisconsin 335, Caution wake turbulence…there is an Air Wisconsin 345 on the frequency.”
“I don’t mind altitude separation as long as they’re not on top of each other.”
“We were told runway 9…we’ll take out the 14R approach plate…” “Captain you’ve got 6 miles to take it out…have a ball.”
“The traffic at 9 o’clock’s gonna do a little Linda Rondstadt on you.”
“Linda Rondstadt? What’s that?” “Well sir …they’re gonna ‘Blue Bayou”
“I can see the country club down below…looks like a lot of controllers out there” “Yes sir…there…is…and they’re caddying for DC-10 drivers like you!”
“Northwest 07K… you like you’re established on the localizer and I don’t know the names of the of any of the fixes…your cleared for the ILS approach…call the tower.”
“AmTram 726, sorry about that…center thought you were a Midway arrival…just sit back, relax and pass out some more cookies and we’ll get you to MKE”
“Approach…what’s our sequence?”
“Calling for sequence…I missed you call sign…but if I find out what it is…you’re last.”
“Sure you can have eight miles behind the heavy…but there’ll be a United Tri-Jet between you and him”
“Approach…Southwest 436…you want us to turn right to 090???” “No, I want your brother to turn…just do it and don’t argue.”
“Approach United 525…What’s this aircraft doing at my altitude?” “United 525…what makes you think it’s your altitude?”
“Delta 1176…Say speed” “Approach…we slowed it 220”
“Delta…pick it back up to 250…this ain’t Atlanta, and those ain’t grits on the ground.”
“Request runway 27 right” “Unable” “Approach…do you know the wind at 6000 is 270 at 50?”
“Yeah I do…and if we could jack the airport up to 5500, you could have that runway…expect 14 right.”
“Air Force 45…it appears your engine has…oh…disregard…I see you’ve already ejected.”
“The first officer says he has you in sight” “Roger…the first officer’s cleared for a visual approach runway 27 right…You continue on that 180 heading and descend down to 3000.”
“Hey O’Hare, you see that 7600 code flashing 5 NW of Gary?” “Yeah I do.” “You guys talking to him?”
“Approach…What’s the tower?” “It’s a big tall building with glass all around it…”
“How far behind the traffic are we?” “3 Miles” “That doesn’t look like 3 miles to us” “Well you’re a mile and a half from him…and he’s a mile and a half from you…that’s 3 miles.”
“Approach, how far from the airport are we in minutes? N123, the faster you go, the quicker you’ll get here.”
“American 220, EENY, MEENY, MINEY, MOE...How do you hear my radio?”
“ Air Wisconsin 335, Caution wake turbulence…there is an Air Wisconsin 345 on the frequency.”
“I don’t mind altitude separation as long as they’re not on top of each other.”
“We were told runway 9…we’ll take out the 14R approach plate…” “Captain you’ve got 6 miles to take it out…have a ball.”
“The traffic at 9 o’clock’s gonna do a little Linda Rondstadt on you.”
“Linda Rondstadt? What’s that?” “Well sir …they’re gonna ‘Blue Bayou”
“I can see the country club down below…looks like a lot of controllers out there” “Yes sir…there…is…and they’re caddying for DC-10 drivers like you!”
“Northwest 07K… you like you’re established on the localizer and I don’t know the names of the of any of the fixes…your cleared for the ILS approach…call the tower.”
“AmTram 726, sorry about that…center thought you were a Midway arrival…just sit back, relax and pass out some more cookies and we’ll get you to MKE”
“Approach…what’s our sequence?”
“Calling for sequence…I missed you call sign…but if I find out what it is…you’re last.”
“Sure you can have eight miles behind the heavy…but there’ll be a United Tri-Jet between you and him”
“Approach…Southwest 436…you want us to turn right to 090???” “No, I want your brother to turn…just do it and don’t argue.”
“Approach United 525…What’s this aircraft doing at my altitude?” “United 525…what makes you think it’s your altitude?”
“Delta 1176…Say speed” “Approach…we slowed it 220”
“Delta…pick it back up to 250…this ain’t Atlanta, and those ain’t grits on the ground.”
“Request runway 27 right” “Unable” “Approach…do you know the wind at 6000 is 270 at 50?”
“Yeah I do…and if we could jack the airport up to 5500, you could have that runway…expect 14 right.”
“Air Force 45…it appears your engine has…oh…disregard…I see you’ve already ejected.”
“The first officer says he has you in sight” “Roger…the first officer’s cleared for a visual approach runway 27 right…You continue on that 180 heading and descend down to 3000.”
“Hey O’Hare, you see that 7600 code flashing 5 NW of Gary?” “Yeah I do.” “You guys talking to him?”
“Approach…What’s the tower?” “It’s a big tall building with glass all around it…”
“How far behind the traffic are we?” “3 Miles” “That doesn’t look like 3 miles to us” “Well you’re a mile and a half from him…and he’s a mile and a half from you…that’s 3 miles.”
skyking1976
Well-known member
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2002
- Posts
- 1,057
Just today...err...yesterday while heading to HUF I heard someone (only caught the a$$ end of it) make an entire turbulence/buckle-seat-belts cabin announcement on guard. It wasn't idiotic. It was very professional sounding. It is truly a shame the cabin didn't get to hear it. 
This is the first time I've heard that happen, but I assume it happens from time to time, yes?
I've also heard a CAP flight making pattern calls on guard. Though that was a little more idiotic. They must've had their volume turned down because after a while they had 2 or 3 controllers screaming, "CAP FLIGHT, YOU'RE ON GUARD!!!"
This is the first time I've heard that happen, but I assume it happens from time to time, yes?
I've also heard a CAP flight making pattern calls on guard. Though that was a little more idiotic. They must've had their volume turned down because after a while they had 2 or 3 controllers screaming, "CAP FLIGHT, YOU'RE ON GUARD!!!"
generaltso
Marcy Projects
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2002
- Posts
- 653
I was doing something the previous controller told me too. After the handoff the new controller asked what I was doing, which I guess wasn't right. He said "Nxxxxx, roger, the previous controller is no longer a factor"
Also a couple days ago I heard a controller trying to get in touch with an aircraft. After about 4 calls he says "Nxxxxx, acknowledge my transmission by remaining silent"
Also a couple days ago I heard a controller trying to get in touch with an aircraft. After about 4 calls he says "Nxxxxx, acknowledge my transmission by remaining silent"
climbhappy
ex pat
- Joined
- Aug 11, 2002
- Posts
- 2,159
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