"Great" cockpit talk..

[Mr Wu]

"Aaaaaaaand, he's current!" - bouncer.

 

[thebest]

I like starting out my day with, "and if you touch anything over here, you'll draw back a bloody stump." It always seems to break the ice with new guys.

THAT ONE IS AWSOME! I LOVE THAT. YOU MUST REALLY BREAK THE ICE WITH THAT, HUH!

 

[SLFLYHI]

ATC: "Aircraft in front of you reports small animals, possibly prairie dogs, on the runway"

Me: "Roger, I'll call catering."

 

[pdub20s]

"Want some root beer with that float?" (a floated landing)

 

[The Drizzle]

(Erj autopilot sucks)

"Wrong way fukc head!"

 

[Quack]

"Where the hell is my USA Today?"

 

[sitbackrelax]

"Are we cleared to land?"
"How 'bout an approach checklist?" (before landing)

 

[lindsaya99]

"Ummm, Do we need to fill out an ASAP report for that?"

 

[pilotpat]

Was that for us?

 

[FlySacto]

"Watch your sack, I'm coming back."

Roger, knees and nuts.