Flight Crew Practical Jokes

[OPECJet]

If flying with a scared FO or Cap, have dispatch put the METAR for KMWS on the release. Mt. Washington weather is always horrible..

 

[Crossky]

CRJ200: The LAV lights CB is reliable. Turning your partners PFD CRT down at night at the overnight is a good wake up in the AM if you're keeping it. The FMS selected out of Auto tune will keep CA's from skipping the Acceptance checklist. Keeps reverting to manual tune after selecting autotune, seemingly only after you look away. Telling the pax it's your FA's B-Day. Telling the pax you've detected that a cell phone is on (do this when you hear it in your headset - I guess it's not a prank), but it's OK.

But don't be a Dick. Payback, well, you know.

 

[Striptyler]

If flying with a scared FO or Cap, have dispatch put the METAR for KMWS on the release. Mt. Washington weather is always horrible..

Dispatch may ask you why you want the weather for a little field in CA...

Kmwn is Mt. Washington, next to Jefferson, home of Tuckermans Rav. I did some time up there.

when you can figure out what BINOVC and INTRNT INTMT or OVC//7 means... then u know

 

[dash8driver]

hitting the space key on the FMS when the other guy isnt looking. he cant see it, but it will give him errors the next time he tries to enter something.

 

[328dude]

Hmm, Ok, here's a few I pulled back in the day.

1. Echo check the new FA. Have her yell "hello" down the lav, if it echo's, it's empty.

2. Place grape jelly on the back of the yoke on the Captain side. He never usually ever touches back there until he/she rotates.

3. In the CRJ, turn off the packs. Open the big gasper vent on the panel and dump about 5 packets of Sweet-N-Low in there, close said gasper, and turn the packs back on. Caution: When said pilot opens the gasper, it's like freaking Christmas.

4. For the new FA's, have an "Alternate Seat Cushion day". Every odd day requires you to swap the cusions on the left side of the airplane to the right.

That's all for now.

 

[Rook]

As a newbie, I was on a trip on the MD-11 somewhere over the Sahara. I was IRO'ng and the CA and other F/O switched places. CA to the bunk and F/O went to the LAV. While in the LAV the CA got out of the bunk and went back in the cockpit and hunched down in his seat with the lights turned way down. When my bud got out of the LAV I was in the galley waiting for him and asked him "How long will the CA be in the bunk? I'm pretty tired."

Guy about jumped out of his skin to get past me back to the cockpit. To this day that's still the best crew I've ever flown with.

 

[Ernest T. Bass]

In front of the FA, have other pilot return from the lav, bitching about it being clogged. Volunteer to go check the problem, then take a blue highlighter out of your pocket, coloring one hand blue. Return, asking the mortified FA for some hand wipes while proclaiming the lav as being fixed.

This works especially well with the gay guys.

If you'd really like to fuk with them, instead of a hand wipe, ask for a granola bar and eat it using the blue hand.

 

[BLing]

This works especially well with the gay guys.

Be careful! You may be asked to go gerible hunting...

 

[Salukipilot4590]

Be careful! You may be asked to go gerible hunting...

Look I just ordered a pizza man...I didnt need to have that image in my mind...or did I?

uke:

 

[iLR60Mac]

Just order a pizza. Not the pizza man. people here will talk about you.

 

[414Flyer]

Look I just ordered a pizza man...I didnt need to have that image in my mind...or did I?

uke:

Nor do we need the image of you and the Pizza man.

 

[QuasarZ]

Haha... these are pretty good! I can't wait to try some of them.

 

[OPECJet]

Dispatch may ask you why you want the weather for a little field in CA...

Kmwn is Mt. Washington, next to Jefferson, home of Tuckermans Rav. I did some time up there.

when you can figure out what BINOVC and INTRNT INTMT or OVC//7 means... then u know

Thanks for the correction.

 

[bailout]

Hand the F/A two empty bottles of water and tell her you're having pressurization problems and need her to get samples of air from the front and back of the cabin..

 

[Razorback Flyer]

I've heard this is one to try in the EMB145 when the other crewmember dozes off on you at night.

Turn off all backlights, and all screens but the EICAS. Put on your O2 mask, complete with smoke goggles. Hit fire test button (will actuate fire bell and illuminate T-handles.)

Don't reccomend trying this on anyone you might eventually need a reccomendation from. Or anyone with a family history of heart disease.

 

[dispatchguy]

A friend of mine, just post 9/11, always liked to spread a hershey's bar around the insides of a pair of skivvies, and lay said pair of skivvies on the top of his stuff in the roll-aboard, so that when said TSA jerkoff opened his roll-aboard, there is the soiled skivvies right on top.

The look on the TSA jerk was always well worth it

 

[TheCheat]

I like to have new FA's make me a cup of lemonade by sqeezing about 8 - 10 lemon wedges into a cup of water with 5 packs of sugar. If they fall for it, or just decide to go along with the joke, it's damn good lemonade.

 

[pdub20s]

I played this trick on my Capt. the other day.. He was talking trash trying to hook me up with the FA. And during our initial descent...He was doing the inrange cabin call. I hit his IC600-1 test button.. "To low terrain". He came off that PTT button so damn fast. LMAO man....that was hilarious

 

[SpoilerFault]

The best practical joke that I ever pulled when working at a regional was.........showing someone my W-2!

 

[PositionandHold]

The best practical joke that I ever pulled when working at a regional was.........showing someone my W-2!

That one usually does it.