Flight Crew Practical Jokes

[Limeyflyer]

I have seen the old posts about jokes played on flight crews. Does anyone have any new ones? They are usually entertaining.

 

[LowlyPropCapt]

I think USAPA is a good one...

 

[CoATP]

one word

Pinnacle

 

[ASA_Aviator]

one word

Pinnacle

What? Did the captain go up there to "f-in' 410 baby!" to play a joke on the FO? Ummm...yeah. Didn't think so. Totally different situation. There is a difference in being unprofessional, and being light-hearted. Most people have common-sense enough to know what not to do.

Sometimes I shut down #2 in cruise, just to break up the monotony. Fuel conservation initiatives! Get with the program.

 

[Turtlesfly]

maybe he meant Pinnacle as a whole is a joke


Don't know if it was posted - but if you take a "walk of shame" and on the way back, hit the FA's smoke detector test and it lights up the "lav smoke" in the ERJ's. FO's love that one. Not that I've ever done it.

 

[Turtlesfly]

or poop in somebody's v-file.

 

[dojetdriver]

Duct tape a guys flight case to the bag rack.

Works best if you have the time to use the entire roll.

 

[Headfake14]

on the ATR (ASA)...when my FO would be...eh hem..studying, I'd hit the fire test switch.

You gotta like and trust your FO though...otherwise some tool bag might run off and "I'm tellin".

Another one...we had a brand new ramper in DHN (on the ATR) give us a prop wash. Took the prop break off...poor kid. I made him wash all eight blades front and back. He was out there with a bucket of soapy water and a mop.

I had an FA turn in a roll of flight line to ops one day. This is when ops was still under concourse C (ASA).

 

[Kream926]

had a flight attendant go get the keys from ops one day...poor thing went in to get em asthe capt and i ran into the airplaneto tell ops to give some old set of keys

 

[Kream926]

had a flight attendant go get the keys from ops one day...poor thing went in to get em asthe capt and i ran into the airplaneto tell ops to give some old set of keys

 

[Rook]

I taped "Single and Looking" on the back of the beverage cart when I had a new F/A on her first revenue trip. Got a good laugh but a pax complained and I had to shine the old tap shoes to explain myself out of that one.

 

[knewhigher]

Called dispatch to put on the release "INFLIGHT BINGO TODAY. ADVISE FA." Then the capt made an announcment to the pax that today we were having inflight bingo and to ring the call button if they didn't have a bingo card in their seat pocket. The brand new FA came running up and said "WE NEVER LEARNED THIS IN TRAINING?!?! IS THIS FOR REAL!?!" All we had to do is show her the "official" notification on the release. I think the pax realized it was a joke long before she ever did.

 

[transampilot]

In the good ol' 1900 there is a maintenance test function of the TAWS on the center panel, That The other guy won't see you pushing. If you wait until the other guy is making a passenger announcement to push it, you can usually get a good reaction. TERRAIN! TERRAIN! PULL UP! PULL UP! - followed shortly by a "oh sh!#".

 

[PooPooPants]

If your doing the same trip all month save a release from the week before. During the flight pull it out and say "Uh oh...I think we took the wrong plane." Give it to the captain and watch him crap himself!

 

[asa rat]

Rumor has it that back on the Brazilia an FO asked the FA for two bottles of water and a can of apple juice before takeoff. He put the apple juice on the dash for the sun to warm and drank the waters...
Filled the empty bottles with warm (body temp +/-) apple juice and upon arrival opened the cockpit (that's what it was called then) door and immediately tossed the "fake piss" to the FA while saying "Can ya throw these out?"... You can guess the rest.

 

[BLing]

Just prior to crossing the numbers, reach for the gear and ask the flying pilot if he would like the gear down!

 

[Soverytired]

Talcum powder in the faux sheepskin seats. Looks great when walking down the jetway.

 

[iLR60Mac]

Talcum powder in the faux sheepskin seats. Looks great when walking down the jetway.

That's a great one.

 

[submachXJ]

If your flying with a "floater" or runway lover when there floating you can ask them "should I ask for lower" that will usually get the airplane on the ground quicker although not as gracefully as you might hope.

 

[jetracer5]

Have the FA come up to the cockpit and tell her you screwed up and broke the speed of heat! Have her touch one of the cockpit windows for proof and say "see!" Then ask her to touch all the windows in the airplane and let you know which ones are warm!

Also for anybody that still flies the old Emb-120 Brasilia. The main door sometimes needs hydraulic power to raise. Tell the FA that the door actuator is stuck and to jump up and down to do dislodge it. Right when she jumps turn on the the hydraulics and tada the door closes!

 

[Salukipilot4590]

Also for anybody that still flies the old Emb-120 Brasilia. The main door sometimes needs hydraulic power to raise. Tell the FA that the door actuator is stuck and to jump up and down to do dislodge it. Right when she jumps turn on the the hydraulics and tada the door closes!

That same thing will work in the 145 with stairs!

 

[pilot772]

Just prior to crossing the numbers, reach for the gear and ask the flying pilot if he would like the gear down!

Ah man Bling you stole mine!

how bout if the FO is dozing off in cruise, click off the auto pilot, that will keep them awake for the rest of the day.

or a brand new FA, and the split is 22/22 and tell her/him that we need them evenly distributed. The look on their face is usually priceless.

 

[asayankee]

On the CRJ, if you put just a little bit of pressure on the bottom of the yoke with your knee for about 15-20 seconds, the A/P will kick off for being "untrimmed". Checklists will tell you if it persists (which it will because you keep doing it!), that the autopilot is considered disabled and you have to hand-fly. I've done that to a couple of captains that have pissed me off.

 

[TOOL CRIB]

I found this a couple weeks ago... on the ASA CRJ with ACARS somewhere buried in the menus you can find a "TEST CHIME" button and it will set off the SELCAL (those of you who've heard it in cruise know how loud that is!). Good for dozing off crewmembers.

 

[A-V-8]

Had a captain trip the fire test switch in the CRJ 200 while I was crossing the numbers one night. That was funny to me when we got to the gate. He laughed all of the way there.

 

[dash8driver]

on the dash i used to use the stick shaker test switch to wake up dozing FOs.

also if you act like you're stretching you can hit the fire detect test switch without them knowing.

when there is a full load, telling the FA "we have to move 3 people to the aft for w&b".

 

[COOPERVANE]

Tell the FA the gear is stuck and wont come down unless she stomps up and down on row 12 on the CRJ. PM watches through the peephole and as soon as she starts hopping, drop the gear!!

Tell the pax on your PA that the FA is the author of the article "wines of the Sonoma valley" or "skiing in Telluride" on page 64 of the SKY magazine.

An old captain told me back in his E-120 days before locked doors, he told a FA that when she heard the chime, her job was to come forward and pull down this little handle thingy because the pilots were too busy to do it. This went on the whole month. Supposedly they never fessed up, and had to see the chief a week later because she did it to a crew the next week. WHOA!!WHOA!!!WHOA!!! what are you doing???

Call up a new FA on the ground and ask her if she's ever seen 50 woodpeckers peck at the same time. Make sure she is seated and facing the pax and then tap the brakes firmly. Gets a laugh every time.

 

[jetracer5]

Call up a new FA on the ground and ask her if she's ever seen 50 woodpeckers peck at the same time. Make sure she is seated and facing the pax and then tap the brakes firmly. Gets a laugh every time.

Thats awesome! I'm doing that tomorrow

 

[Headfake14]

On the ATR (again)...the lav toilet faces fwd just like the pax seats...and it's in the back next to the galley.

So

I was flying with Jenny and Stephanie (ASAers should know them...usually ALWAYS on the ATR in the old days). I call back during taxi for whatever reason and Steph said Jen was in the lav...I said "for how long now"...she said about a mintue. Ah..perfect timing. I pumped the brakes firmly. hehe. As she was...um..."squating", she lunged fwd and hit the door with her head and it popped open.

All I can say is, thank god for the locked armoured door.

Mmm...good ole days

 

[Limeyflyer]

On the Saab, if a crew member is in the lav, slide the F/O's seat forward give a good hit on the wall behind the seat, and the toliet lid will fall down and pant legs will get wet. My F/O tried this on me the other day but he also included turning off the external power to make it pitch black in that little coffin lav.