Do pilot's really get more chicks??!!

[FreightNazi]

All right,



a $170,000/yr UPS 747 CA has balls as blue as the sky!!!


How ***** up is that!!!

That is really ****** up! A UPS Captain makes way more than $170,000 a year!!!

 

[RichardRambone]

I wouldnt say its easier but its a big plus where Im from. They think "Ohhhh he's adventerous and a risk taker. Hes hot." Maybe its a form of the bad boy image and the Catch Me If You Can syndrom of being a badass pilot by day and he-man womanizer and sexual tyranosaurus by night. Not real but hey, if the shoe fits.......

 

[Immelman]

I remember telling my wife, when we were dating early on, that during my single days it took me a while to realize that contrary to my pilot's intuition, chicks did NOT find pilots inherently hot -- she immediately started laughing and still points it out to this day (she agrees).

She supports my flying but isn't too interested in it herself aside from getting from pt A to pt B quicker than driving...

 

[stonewall]

I met this girl several years ago at City X. She asked me what I did, and I said I was a fighter pilot (no, it was not my opening line!). She said, "yeah, whatever, I heard the same line from that jacka$$ 10 minutes ago," which made sense since there were about 10 fighter pilots in the bar at the time. I then said, "okay, okay, I'm a doctor." She replied, with all sincerity, "Oh yeah, which hospital?" Chicks, man.

I met a girl the other night who asked what I did and when I said "airline pilot," her immediate response was "so, you're gone 16 days a month?" Not interested. It's like any other semi-unique job. It works sometimes and it doesn't.

The job doesn't get you laid...it's the gobs of money and booze you throw around!

 

[goofyleftwich]

i got 2 last week........picked em up at in n out.......we had funnnnnnnnnn

 

[sqwkvfr]

Cops and firemen get more poontang than pilots do.

I'm sure you've heard the old addage:

The badge will get you p***y, but --if your not careful-- the p***y will get the badge.

 

[RichardRambone]

I got 5 last night. Five friends that never let me down. Always there when I need it and never say no. I even let them operate the throttle when I fly!

 

[flyifrvfr]

I never use the pilot card with the ladies. Because I am a very difficult person to impress I feel that you need more game than just your job. I spend more time listening to the ladies tell me about them. When they ask what I do I say a little of this and a little of that. Tell me more about you. You can never run out of things to say if you just sit back and let the woman talk. Of course later after sex, I piss all over her floor because I can't hit the bowl with two streams of piss.

 

[TurboS7]

I thought that problem was just because of old age.

 

[BoeingBoy]

Well i'm a pilot and I haven't gotten any since 2001....of course it's only about 2030 now....maybe she'll let me do it again at 2100...

 

[satpak77]

Well i'm a pilot and I haven't gotten any since 2001

you gotta be sh1tting us

 

[TurboS7]

No comment

 

[Nova]

you gotta be sh1tting us

Man, you missed it. 2001 as in military/zulu time. Which is why he followed it up with "maybe she'll let me do it again at....." Nevermind.

 

[Cardinal]

it can help sometimes, but most everyone ive met who thinks their pilots license will get them laid needs alot more help than their license will give them. leykis 101 is a good start.

For the record, posterity, general knowledge, etc:

Leykis 101
1.NEVER, and I mean EVER...date a single mother or father
2.Follow the "three strikes and your out" rule. Which means if she hasn't put out in the first three dates, dump the bitc#.
3.Never pick up your phone Friday through Sunday. Screen all of your phone calls
4.No cuddling after sex. You kick their ass out in time for Sportscenter
5.Always wear a condom. Even if she is on birth control. No exceptions
6.Never spend more than $40 on a date. And if she pays, all the better
7.Pick out the women with the lowest self esteem. The lower the better. Beautiful women normally have a very low self esteem
8.Get in touch with your "inner A-hole". Women are drawn to assholes. If your a nice guy (pu$$y), you won't get laid. She'll categorize you as her "friend"
8.Women are attention whores and will do almost anything to get it. So keep that in mind when you see some woman dressed to kill
9.never have coffee or lunch with a woman unless you want to be "friends". Women have dinner with the men that they bang, not lunch or coffee.
10.Women, you have no male friends. Every male you call a friend wants to bang the living fkcu out of you. If you don't believe me, then as a test...tell any one of your male friends that you want to sleep with them and see if they turn you down
11.Stay away from any women who says the words "All my friends are guys". That is trouble and should be avoided at all costs
12.If the person you are dating stops putting out, Dump that bitc#
13.Men, the reason why you are friends with a woman with the exception of having a past relationship with her...is that she doesn't find you attractive. The truth hurts. Move on
14.Men, the more confidence you show the better chances you have of getting the girl. Women smell a pu$$y a mile away and they can also smell confidence. Women are attracted to confidence almost more than anything else
15.Don't ever tell a woman you love her unless you really do. Don't do it especially just to get in her pants. The consequences are many and get you in to big trouble
16.If your girlfriend is spending a lot of time with a "friend" of the opposite sex, dump that bitc#
17.Do not get married until you are at least 25 years of age
18.Do not buy her flowers until the second year you are married
19.Don't do anything in the beginning of the relationship you wouldn't normally do later in the relationship. Because her expectations of anything you do for her will cause you problems later
20.Never hold her purse. Unless you are a pu$$y or have a pu$$y, you shouldn't be holding a purse
21.Always become unavailable during the holidays. Never pick up the phone close to holiday seasons. Especially Valentine's Day or Thanksgiving
22.Do not go to a concert with a woman if she invites you. Especially if she has backstage passes or has a friend in the band she is going to see. It just means she is there to fkcu the other guy. She probably just used you for the ride there
23.Never buy a woman a drink. It's just another way of a woman getting something she wants for free while the man thinks she's interested in him (applies outside of relationships)
24.Eat before you go out on a date. Purpose is that a woman normally wouldn't be caught dead eating more than her date. So this results in a lower costing date by the end of the evening. You tell her that you are trying to eat healthy
25.Do not order a bottle of wine. And the reason you don't when she asks is because you want to make sure you get her home safely. And to ensure this to the best of your ability, you don't want to drink any alcohol.
26.If your date picks up their cell phone, silently get up and drive off without them. If they wouldn't give you the lack of respect to pay attention to you on the date, you don't give them the respect of driving them home
27.This came from listener comments, so here it is. Keep a bottle of hot sauce Every place you have sex (Bathroom, bedroom etc.) After you use the condom, put a few drops into the used condom and throw it away. This results in the "Burning of the cooch" if the bitc# tries to actually use the contents.

 

[TIGV]

Well, it's official, my universe has just experienced a complete quantum collapse, this occured with a wet sucking-popping sound when I found out that not only can a dude with a GED make more money at the Quicktrip than flying, but the guy at my local QT nails about twice the amount of pooooo-nanny I do.

I think I'm gonna superglue a tazer to my forhead and turn it on while simultaneously lowering my dangly bits into a Black n Decker propane powered meat-grinder.

 

[flyifrvfr]

Tom Lykis or lickass doesn't know how to deal with women. He gets women only because he has money. After they find out he has a teeny weeny that dump him.

 

[Guitar Guy]

Of course, if you really want to impress the ladies, tell 'em you're an engineer. That always works...

Probably the best line is, "Hello, I'm incredibly wealthy".

 

[flyifrvfr]

I save my best line for when I am on a airliner. I act like I know something is wrong as I go up to the most beautiful woman on the plane. I say " excuse me, I just talked to the Captain and he said we are leaking fuel and we can't make it to land. We are ditching in the water. I don't want to die a virgin and I bet you don't want to die a virgin either."

 

[Fury220]

I've given up telling people I'm a pilot.

I just tell 'em that I'm a baloon wrangler..."you know, like all those big decorative balloons in front of used car lots...I do those"

"my dream is to one day" *sniff* (for dramatic effect) "hold one of the strings of Clifford the Big Red Dog as we walk down the street in NYC during the Macy's day parade..."



This cracks 'em up every time.

 

[English]

I feel sorry for my male flightinfo friends. You guys really have no clue as to how to get lucky with the ladies.

Why don't you just ask the many women on this website for advice? Too proud?

 

[TurboS7]

Women are just fun to hang out with, who gives a rip about getting laid.

 

[Kream926]

Well, it's official, my universe has just experienced a complete quantum collapse, this occured with a wet sucking-popping sound when I found out that not only can a dude with a GED make more money at the Quicktrip than flying, but the guy at my local QT nails about twice the amount of pooooo-nanny I do.

I think I'm gonna superglue a tazer to my forhead and turn it on while simultaneously lowering my dangly bits into a Black n Decker propane powered meat-grinder.

dude
you know how many drunk girls go into QT after last call?
i had a friend who worked there told me the same thing

 

[FlyChicaga]

I found out last weekend the key to getting women to notice you.

Mechanical bull.

Sit back and watch the other drunk idiots get on the thing and try to impress the women, then get tossed off within 15 seconds. Stand close to the fence, while drinking Corona and doing a few Tequila shots. Don't get hammered though, otherwise you'll be spewing projectile vomit from the bucking bull.

After about an hour of the dork-be-thrown-off madness, hitch up on the bull and hang on tight. Proper form is essential (think rodeo). If you have never seen a rodeo before, turn on ESPN Ocho. If you hang on for at least two straight minutes, you have just achieved "badest dude in the bar" status.

I kid you not. I did this, and walking out of the pen had a goregous girl come up to me, and said, "You sure stayed on there a long time. Longer than any of these other guys." I responded, simply, "Yup." She goes, "Well I'm pretty sure that will get you laid tonight." I contained my shock (I'm a nerd, this doesn't happen), and just said, "Well, we'll see at closing time who won me over." Winked, and left. She came by many times that night. But seeing as I went to the bar with six women, that does spoil a man's chances...

 

[TurboS7]

Best bar I have been to is in OKC where they ride real bulls. Nothing like drinking a beer and having bull trash thrown all over you, chicks dig that when they are drunk too.

 

[TurboS7]

Chics also dig getting up at 0300 in the morning to go watch the sunrise on the top of the mountain on Maui.

 

[FlyChicaga]

Best bar I have been to is in OKC where they ride real bulls. Nothing like drinking a beer and having bull trash thrown all over you, chicks dig that when they are drunk too.

Or you could go drink with the alcoholic goats at Silky's on Beale Street in Memphis. I mean, if you strike out with the chicks, there's always the goats.

I do not, ever, under any circumstance condone or support what this post implies.

 

[MFRskyknight]

Women are just fun to hang out with, who gives a rip about getting laid.

Duh -- everyone who's not gay.

Just kidding, I hear ya. I have lots of female friends, but I'm committed to one girl and not really the type who'd expect my status as a pilot to get me laid like clockwork anyway.

I can't see it going well at all...

Me: Guess what, baby?

Hot Chick: What?

Me: It might interest you to learn that I successfully completed my first SOLO flight earlier today.

Hot Chick: Really? You sound so excited - what sort of plane do you fly?

Me: Lemme put it this way -- you ever hear of the legendary Cessna 152?

Hot Chick (getting up to leave): Well, congratulations, captain. Looks like you'll be flying solo tonight, too.

 

[Daveman]

. Of course later after sex, I piss all over her floor because I can't hit the bowl with two streams of piss.

Ahh, you gotta love a good dose of the clap.

 

[Daveman]

Well, I haven't the slightest problem scoring with the ladies. I don't use any clever lines, I just whip it out.


The visa, that is.

 

[flyifrvfr]

Why does everyone keep saying two streams of piss means you have the clap. It does not mean you have the clap. The only thing coming out of me is piss albeit in two streams. Because I don't do a money shot like a porn star....