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Diarrhea in a freighter?
- Thread starter Frank Towns
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Birddog
On a mission...
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2001
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- 259
Food poisoning
So there we were in the Shed at 14,000 or so, happily puffing away on the O2, when I feel a sesmic shift somewhere in my gut. Not painful, but the type of feeling that tells you that the 30 or so feet of neatly coiled intestine is reconfiguring itself into one straight pipe. At first I though, "Only an hour and a half to go, I can make it." About 5 minutes later, more gurgling and shifting shattered that illusion. I handed off the plane to my somewhat bewildered FO and headed for the back. On the way back I grabbed the only recepticles I could find, two plastic bags which contained the deli food responsible for the current problem. By the time I got to the back of the plane, I was not only squeezing my cheeks together as tight as I could manage, I was also starting to have the heaves. With one arm looped through the rear net, I somehow managed to simultainiously vent from both ends into two seperate bags. While most of it was deposited into the bags, a substainial portion landed on the deck. This being the dead of winter, it froze instantly. I used the few kleenex and the weather from our flight plan to clean up and headed back towards the front. I nearly make it to the cockpit with another round of gurglings sent me staggering, now lightheaded and fairly hypoxic, towards the back of the plane for another round. I barely managed to untie the bags in time. It was around this time that I learned that bare flesh will stick to a cold soaked, diamond tread deck. To make this a perfect evening, I was out of paper of any sort. Looking around, I found a few rags in the corner and used those. Yet another mistake. Apparently they had been previously used to wipe up jet fuel or some other fluid that would be irritating to sensitive skin. It was a unique sensation I hope never to repeat. At this point I sacrificed my undershirt, and headed back to the front as quickly as I can, because I realized we had been descending for quite some time. I manage to arrive in time to find us 10 miles from the airport, set up for the approach. I managed to make it through the landing, and then proceeded to destroy the bathroom at the FBO while my FO loaded the freight. To his eternal credit, he did think to get some hot water and a mop to remove the offending leftovers from the plane. After all this, we still managed to get the freight in roughly on time.
The moral of the story is; beware of the deli at the Belleville Meijer. Pain and humiliation have thier origins there.
So there we were in the Shed at 14,000 or so, happily puffing away on the O2, when I feel a sesmic shift somewhere in my gut. Not painful, but the type of feeling that tells you that the 30 or so feet of neatly coiled intestine is reconfiguring itself into one straight pipe. At first I though, "Only an hour and a half to go, I can make it." About 5 minutes later, more gurgling and shifting shattered that illusion. I handed off the plane to my somewhat bewildered FO and headed for the back. On the way back I grabbed the only recepticles I could find, two plastic bags which contained the deli food responsible for the current problem. By the time I got to the back of the plane, I was not only squeezing my cheeks together as tight as I could manage, I was also starting to have the heaves. With one arm looped through the rear net, I somehow managed to simultainiously vent from both ends into two seperate bags. While most of it was deposited into the bags, a substainial portion landed on the deck. This being the dead of winter, it froze instantly. I used the few kleenex and the weather from our flight plan to clean up and headed back towards the front. I nearly make it to the cockpit with another round of gurglings sent me staggering, now lightheaded and fairly hypoxic, towards the back of the plane for another round. I barely managed to untie the bags in time. It was around this time that I learned that bare flesh will stick to a cold soaked, diamond tread deck. To make this a perfect evening, I was out of paper of any sort. Looking around, I found a few rags in the corner and used those. Yet another mistake. Apparently they had been previously used to wipe up jet fuel or some other fluid that would be irritating to sensitive skin. It was a unique sensation I hope never to repeat. At this point I sacrificed my undershirt, and headed back to the front as quickly as I can, because I realized we had been descending for quite some time. I manage to arrive in time to find us 10 miles from the airport, set up for the approach. I managed to make it through the landing, and then proceeded to destroy the bathroom at the FBO while my FO loaded the freight. To his eternal credit, he did think to get some hot water and a mop to remove the offending leftovers from the plane. After all this, we still managed to get the freight in roughly on time.
The moral of the story is; beware of the deli at the Belleville Meijer. Pain and humiliation have thier origins there.
Last edited:
belchfire
unpredictable member
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"To his eternal credit, he did think to get some hot water and a mop to remove the offending leftovers from the plane. After all this, we still managed to get the freight in roughly on time."
I would hope that unless he was suited only for a career as janitor you recommended him for upgrade!
I would hope that unless he was suited only for a career as janitor you recommended him for upgrade!
belchfire
unpredictable member
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- Sep 2, 2003
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I know-I was exagerating a bit. I do think that he has gone a long way to proving that he works well in the crew environment though!
He also proved that he is willing to do what is required to move the metal. Highly important in the 135/121.5 freight world...
Last edited:
Birddog
On a mission...
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- Nov 26, 2001
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- 259
I know-I was exagerating a bit. I do think that he has gone a long way to proving that he works well in the crew environment though!
Very true, but I don't want to set a precedent of having to test all FOs that way before upgrade.
belchfire
unpredictable member
- Joined
- Sep 2, 2003
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hehehehe...well, yeah, but after a while I bet you would carry a stolen hotel tissue roll with you!
Besides, the washout, er, wipeout rate would go through the roof!
Birddog
On a mission...
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2001
- Posts
- 259
Way ahead of you there. Recently I have found the tissue packs from MREs a lot more compact. Also, the chewable Pepto tablets have become required equipment.
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