Diarrhea in a freighter?

[tsky]

I was jumpseating home the other day from YVR to PDX after having a strong dose of mexican food in OAK a few hours earlier. Before I checked in I thought I had resolved my diharrea problem by visiting the can ahead of time.

I was fortunate enough on the flight to be sitting right by the flight attendent seat and the flight attendent was really hot, so I started putting the moves on her. Unfortunatly, then I started purculating. I guess several other people had the same problem that I had because there was a constant string of people going to the lav. Just when I thought that I would have an opprotunity to sneak into the lav, someone else beat me to the punch. Now the diharrea was coming rapidly and I really didn't want to soil my pants in front of the hot flight attendent. When the last person in the lav finally came out, the hot flight attendent commented to me that she wondered why people simply didn't use the bathroom prior to the flight, I just smiled and promptly moved into the lave for an explosive decompression. The smell was horrific.

 

[ATRCAPT]

HMMMMMM. It seems like this thread is starting to crap out....sorry, I couldn't resist.

 

[blingair]

"...hey Peterman, watch your cornhole dude."

 

[DZ BUM & EFS]

I'm still waiting to become a member of this club, you havn't lived till you have flown skydivers on a sunday morning during one of there "Boogies" that served chile on saturday night, climbing to altitude is a real treat so much it will make your eyes burn along with your nose. I'm sure there were some wet shorts on a few. I did have a guy come up to the front one time in a Beech 18 and said he needed to puke, I told him to use his helmet, he showed it to me and this was back in the 80's and he had a hockey helmet you know with the holes in it, I turned the plane at the zone and told him to open high and fly back to the airport, after he opened he did puke on himself, yuck! Another time I was flying a Tandem and the jumpmaster stuck his head out to spot the load and the student puked it all flew back in his face and in the plane. Oh the life of a Jump Pilot.

Hey Blingair, great week we should do it again soon.

 

[Texan Driver]

Another time I was flying a Tandem and the jumpmaster stuck his head out to spot the load and the student puked it all flew back in his face and in the plane. Oh the life of a Jump Pilot.

That happened to the chief pilot at the warbird company I was with. We flew the SNJ's from the back seat and when we taxi, we stick our heads out of the side of the airplane while doing S-turns to see what is in front of us. After he was returning from a flight, he leaned out to take a look and SPLAT! Green and brown chunky stuff all over his face.

Sorta on topic...this was told to me by the tandem master it had occured to.
During the freefall, everything was cool....and then the canopy opened..good chute and stuff. Well...all of the sudden he smells the smelly smell of something that smells smelly and just thought the tandem student let a blast-O-gas go. The smell lingered and then he realizes he feels something warm and squishy in the jumpsuit the student was wearing.

Ah...jump flyin' days...the Twotter with 20+ jumpers in back all lettin' loose! I'm glad we had O2 on board.

 

[JediNein]

There's another reason the CA Wing of CAP wears green bags... I tell the backseaters that if they are feeling motion sick, have told the pilot, and the pilot is not straight & level with all of the windows open, the backseat is to pull back on the neck of the pilot's green bag and go for it. I've not had a problem with a pilot not paying attention to his flight crew since.

For the Young Eagles flights, we tell the kids if they are motion sick, they have to grab the front of their shirt, pull out, and go. They look down with saucer-sized eyes, look up, and we haven't had a problem with them, either. They tell the pilot when it's not fun anymore and the pilot gets on the ground ASAP!

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein

 

[414Flyer]

yeah thats a real good idea there. Lets just distract the sole pilot, with puke down his neck.

Thought processes and remembering arent exactly the same when one is feeling ill. Some kid is just going to be able to remember something you said about "...if you get sick, pull out his the back of his flight suit and go for it" or whatever.

And then you will have one very pissed off pilot who is in the mood to give someone a Texas sized ass whooping. And then he/she is going to have some choice words for you.

People get sick, it just happens. I got sick so many times as a kid and when learning to fly, I even got sick on solo cross countries. But to even suggest to some kid some crap about puking down the back of the pilots flight suit. I dont care if it is too remind the pilot to be thinking of the passengers, its still a bad idea.

I will put this in the same category as that $100/hr ground school, and those super secret classified and copyrighted IFR techniques.

 

[DOVPILOT]

I've heard of pilots going to the baggage area of a Beech 1900D and taking one in the the cowl plug bucket.....or they just sh!t themselves....I have to find out what plane and which seat that was in???? I aint no aircraft cleaner!!!!

 

[crash-proof]

dump bump

 

[JediNein]

But to even suggest to some kid some crap about puking down the back of the pilots flight suit. I dont care if it is too remind the pilot to be thinking of the passengers, its still a bad idea.

I will put this in the same category as that blah blah blah

I am flattered that you care enough to remember every posting I've made in the last several years. I would be even more flattered if you could get your quotes correct. This would make your diagreement genuine and not purely a demonstration of BS in keeping with the thread's topic.

Once again, the kids puke down their own shirts.

The adults puke down the pilots' backs and the green bags hold it in.

It is said out of the most sincere desire to choke the stuffings out of the pilots that continue to maneuver after the passengers relay their feelings. The two very specific pilots I am thinking of have done more to polarize the general public against those "dangerous little airplanes" than any shock and spittle news media article.

HNY!
Jedi Nein