Annoying things your CA/FO does, 2011 version

[asayankee]

FO's who try and drive an unnecessarily quick pace.....makes me crazy. We're not even off the ramp, no need to start briefing the departure and running takeoff checks already. I'll ask for it when I'm ready and workload is appropriate.

Unless we're on fire....SLOW DOWN. Not interested in how fast you can do things

 

[COOPERVANE]

My only real pet peeve is lazy Captains. Let me elaborate:

We're on a turn, and I get the walkaround (let's say it's raining). I come back inside, get the ATIS, copy the Clearance (or PDC if avail). I look at the FMS and it hasn't been touched. Captain wideload is in the back snacking on chips on his cell phone. I program the FMS and the cargo load shows up. Captain goes "here"..

10 minutes into the flight, I look over, and the jerk is asleep.

That, on every leg of a 4 day trip, is extremely annoying. And unfortunately, it's quite common here.

LOTS of FO's doing this too

 

[Abernathy]

I asked flight attendant last week if she wanted a coffee. She wanted something like that...$5... here you go. YGBSM

When I offer to pick up coffees for the crew, I don't ask what kind. I'm getting you black coffee. There's sugar and cream on the plane if you need it. If you want a double-whipped soy caramal hop-scotch hot fudge sundae flavored coffee-drink with sprinkles and glitter, (A) unless you're a girl, is that a joke and (B) get it yourself.

 

[tomgoodman]

The best way to keep someone from repeatedly pushing your "annoy" button is to keep its location secret. Exhibit a fake button and let them wear their finger out while you chuckle.

 

[taters]

No doubt about the cows in the cockpit now..how do you guys hold a medical at 350 lbs?

 

[CorpCaptain]

Got one at our company, Check Airman thats 285pds in a Lear. He told me the other day he's on the Atkins. He ordered a triple decker burger from Wendy's and took off the lettuce and tomato. LOL. Gross, but incredibly funny.

 

[say again]

When the flying pilot just jumps on the radios just to hear himself. Hey, if you want the radios just say so...I have no issues watching you do all the work.

 

[Abernathy]

Got one at our company, Check Airman thats 285pds in a Lear. He told me the other day he's on the Atkins. He ordered a triple decker burger from Wendy's and took off the lettuce and tomato. LOL. Gross, but incredibly funny.

What would also be incredibly funny is if he were a member of this board!

 

[whatitdoing?]

Nose pickers!!!!

You should see the "diseases" at CAL that dig for gold. I had one to BOG that literally mined for 3 hours. I was busy with my maps out since I've never been down there. All those escape routes and I look over to see this tool digging for gold. Oh well right? Well, I'm looking at the tubes and I see something flick on the screen. I then noticed him flicking his boogers and one landed on my screen. I got one of those wipes and trying to hold back my vomit as I smeared it on my screen. I was so pissed. This Capt had yellow stains under his shirt and looked like he hadn't bathed in weeks. Of course, he was going down to visit his little chicka in BOG. Next morning, he put his left leg up on that foot rest below the CRT tubes and turned the gasper vent to cool his nuts. I smelled a combo of disease and urine for several hours. The only thing that prevented me from throwing up is putting a handy wipe in my hand and sticking it under my nose. Disgusting people...........

 

[Stifler's Mom]

LOTS of FO's doing this too

Lazy FOs, become lazy Captains.

How about NOT flying the airplane like you just stole it and are now taking it for a joyride. Landing on a 9,000 foot runway, and then jamming on the brakes and reverses to try and make the first reverse high-speed isn't impressive. Greasing it on 3,000 feet down the runway doesn't constitute a good landing either.

Going from 0 to full spoilers in less than 1/2 second is not comfortable for the passengers.

Climbing at 320kts and 500 fpm through 10K feet doesn't really get us there faster. It only makes me have to worry about our fuel.

Fly the airplane, keeping in mind you have passengers onboard.