spouse does not understan

[yaya]

Hi!

All you can do is try (it's a great song to listen to by Nelly Furtado). If you try, and your spouse tries, it will work out.

If your spouse is NOT trying, and refuses to try, don't kill yourself. Do the best you can, and if it's not enough, kick your spouse to the curb when you've done all you can do.

Interestingly, when I got my flying job (only home 10 days/month) my CEO (wife) liked it a lot better. We decided that about 13-14 days off is enough. (I'm now at 11).

God Bless!
cliff
YIP

My spouse is trying........ and WHY is this so important about my lists? YES IAM AM A CAPTAIN NOW..... ALREADY

 

[Rook]

My spouse is trying........ and WHY is this so important about my lists? YES IAM AM A CAPTAIN NOW..... ALREADY

It was just the language. No offense. Some people are used to hearing vacancies, or upgrading. Some people I guess are used to hearing 'changing lists'. Regardless good luck to your situation. Hope all is well

 

[Oh-ryan]

Correct. I am a female, and I only get the house deep cleaned once a month... I am not a maid, and I am not going to do "everything" when I get home from a trip. Takes me a whole day each week to catch up as it is.

I knew what I was getting into with this career, so its not like I didn't try to prepare everyone.

I made it clear when I was changing lists that I was going to be on reserve and what the environment would be like. Before this I was very senior holding 17-18 days off each month working day trips mostly with weekends off. Now I am going to be on reserve for a long time, middle of the week off, etc.

ps... wife does not = maid, regardless of what she does for a living.

I am with the others about this maid thing. So let me get this straight... you have no kids... hubby has a 9-5 job, you have about 10 days off a month and you STILL need to hire a maid. I'll give you the 1 day of decompression/relaxation when you get home, but what the heck is going on the other nine days. It don't take much to keep a house in order... ESPECIALLY when you don't have kids to clean up after. Please tell me there is more to it than this. I am not poking fun at hiring a maid. If it fit into my budget I would do it as well, but come on now.

 

[huronip]

I am with the others about this maid thing. So let me get this straight... you have no kids... hubby has a 9-5 job, you have about 10 days off a month and you STILL need to hire a maid. I'll give you the 1 day of decompression/relaxation when you get home, but what the heck is going on the other nine days. It don't take much to keep a house in order... ESPECIALLY when you don't have kids to clean up after. Please tell me there is more to it than this. I am not poking fun at hiring a maid. If it fit into my budget I would do it as well, but come on now.

You make over 80K a year and you 're telling me you can't afford a maid? You better take the bonus and stay in.

 

[Andrew_VT]

hubby has a 9-5 job, you have about 10 days off a month and you STILL need to hire a maid. I'll give you the 1 day of decompression/relaxation when you get home, but what the heck is going on the other nine days.

Actually what I meant by my earlier post is that the non-pilot of the household should be able to keep a house clean if he/she (in this case a he) doesn't have kids and just works a 9-5 job.

I'm not a feminist type that thinks guys should act like housewives, but he should still be able do enough to not need a maid when he's the only one in the damn house.

 

[Oh-ryan]

You make over 80K a year and you 're telling me you can't afford a maid? You better take the bonus and stay in.

Actually tough guy... I am no longer in, I make about 110K a year (flying), but I still can not justify spending money on a maid. I prefer having my wife stay home and raise our kids (as does she) and use the "maid money" to take the kids on vacation, save for college and maybe enjoy a dinner out/week. Can you believe that? Oh yeah, I actually do some laundry, vacuum and other things around the house to help out.

Go look down your nose at someone else jerk off.

 

[capt. megadeth]

One thing I don't understand is WHY THE F*** does ANYONE need a maid?

Your hubby should clean up if he is home......if you are home and the house needs cleanup....you should clean it up.

Anyone that needs a maid is living in too big of a house.

I will never understand the maid thing. What a collossal waste of cash!!!!!!!!!! Why can't people clean up after themselves? I just don't get it.

 

[JediNein]

Because sometimes they can't. And sometimes their time is too valuable.

We don't know if the significant other is disabled, which could be a simple as needing a PBE to do the vacuuming - otherwise they sneeze their heads off.

We don't know if the significant other is a busy CEO and wants to come home to a cooked meal every day and feels vacuuming is beneath him.

Some guys feel very threatened when their wife appears to be more successful than themselves. Wifey upgrades and becomes 'de man' in charge and hubby is still assistant peon. Role reversals can be quite challenging.

I was watching the Mesa training video where the guy has to reschedule his wife's chemo appointment. That's just wrong. Are there events going on like that at home, or are they more mundane things like missed dinners, dates, not being able to be there for the contractors, and so on?

Good luck!

 

[Oh-ryan]

One thing I don't understand is WHY THE F*** does ANYONE need a maid?

Your hubby should clean up if he is home......if you are home and the house needs cleanup....you should clean it up.

Anyone that needs a maid is living in too big of a house.

I will never understand the maid thing. What a collossal waste of cash!!!!!!!!!! Why can't people clean up after themselves? I just don't get it.

I 95% agree with you there Sugar Britches. The 5% exception being if I were a ga-zillionaire, maybe then I would hire a maid. Preferably one of them French maids... ooh yeah... that's the stuff!

Now, for the average Joe Schmoe couple that is trying to find ways to keep their marriage together and feels that hiring a maid would help, then they might as well start working on the divorce papers cause they got much bigger problems.

 

[Galaxy]

WOW- This thread got hijacked!

To the original poster- I feel for you, but you should have planned for the worse and hoped for the best. The fact you are on reserve was a given. You must have known that going from a senior FO holding day trip lines going to the left seat was going to suck BIGTIME. However, congrats on your upgrade and hiring a housekeeper is cheaper than a divorce. Just let your hubby know that times like this will soon pass.

Sit him down and bring out the issues to the table and get them resolved or they will haunt you for a long long time.