Who is the biggest loser you have flown with?

[cruxx@9]

"Silly Ass Patrol". Love it!!!!

When I was a line rat they had a 172 at the airport. I fueled it up one morning, the whole time the two guys flying it watching me like a hawk. They finally said they had some super secret probation ultra-covert mission to fly that morning.

Two hours later I saw both of those buttnuggets walking out of a local fly in restaurant after I went with another dude for a $100 hamburger.

Yeah these guys were great. I too put myself through the ratings pumping gas at the airport. So this kid comes over to the FBO for his checkride in the CAP "super skyhawk". He successfully taxxied the plane from the T-hangers to the FBO...about a mile or so right. I go out to park him and he comes right at me....I can see his supercool flight suit and those HUGE maverick sunglasses to this day! He is sooooo cool that he ignores me and in some kind of crazy parking manuver tries to get the plane into a parking spot that it won't fit....he powers up...slides on the snow and smacks his left wing into the tail of the C152 next to him! Bent the tail of the poor innocent 152 right in half. He jumps out and forgets to turn off the plane....so it tries to take out another C152. He did get back in the plane and pull the mixture just before the prop sliced into the second 152. He closed the door and and wouldn't come out until the examiner came out to talk with him. BUT he looked cool as hell in that flight suit and sunglasses.

Found out later he went on the the Air Force Acedemy and flew F16's.

 

[cruxx@9]

Biggest Loser Pilot

This is a great thread....I've seen these guys you are describing over and over throughout my entire career. But when it comes to the one I"ve flown with...


I did fly with PILOTYIP once.....
:uzi:


Sorry YIP...it was too easy.

:beer:

 

[SpauldingSmails]

I'm normally not graced with the presence of another loser in our cockpits as a freight driver... but I did have an interesting convo with a company pilot jumpseating with me once. We were discussing flying overgross or out of CG limits...

Me: Well I think we're all guilty of draining some fuel with our pencils at one point or another... but overgross is overgross.
Jump: Well, the way I see it they can take the extra weight just fine and I'd rather get the job done and keep everyone happy.
Me: Hey, if we're over the contract weight screw it, not my problem. I'm not risking it so someone gets their tickle-me elmo ontime, I'll gladly tell them I can't accept it and we're at our contracted weight.
Jump: Well the chances of anything happening are so slim.
Me: Yeah, but why stack the cards against you? What's the reward?
Jump: Quite frankly when I started this job I wasn't in a good place in my life and I didn't really care if I died.
Me: Uh... oh, so I guess that's why they never have you do the passenger charters?
Jump: Yeah.

 

[VSI9k+]

I flew with this guy once... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iff4FszDeo

 

[gkrangers]

This thread is a classic.

 

[ableone]

SpauldingSmails, everyone has flown over gross. The only difference is freight doggers are more sure of it than the rest.

The W & B info we use is all fictional anyway. On an A-320 there are a couple of computers called that FACs that among other things, calculate the aircraft's weight and C.G once airborne. This is done to generate speed tape minimum config speeds. Though the calculated weight is not displayed there is a way to look it up on the AIDS page of the MCDU. It is not unusual to see that the aircraft thinks it weighs five thousand pounds more than the W & B paperwork states it weighs. I have even seen the aircraft decide it was 12,000lbs heavier than the W & B paperwork.

For Airbus pilots the aircraft sometimes gives you a clue. If your target Vapp speed is right on the amber hook, you might be heavier than you think you are.

 

[PURPLEHAZE21]

Riddle....

We had the "Best Pilot" from Riddle where I used to work...until he was told to pickup some parts at a nearby airport. The weather was IMC and he had to fly alone, single pilot. He went to get lunch and never came back...typical !!!

 

[SpauldingSmails]

SpauldingSmails, everyone has flown over gross. The only difference is freight doggers are more sure of it than the rest.

The funny part wasn't flying overgross, it was the not caring if he died. Plus flying overgross in an A320 is lot different than a 40 year old piston beater that climbs like a heap to begin with.

 

[Way2Broke]

I flew with this guy once... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iff4FszDeo

"I'm a moderator of a message board on the internet"......that was awesome...... until that thing crawls out of his face.... I almost lost my lunch.

 

[brvopilot]

I was just off of IOE, in LGA, and my captain and I got ramp checked. This particular FAA inspector had never been on an RJ before and asks my 7 year captain where the Airworthiness Certificate was, my captain couldn't tell him!! He looked around by his feet (like it was a 172) and finally looks at me and asks (in front of the FAA) "Do you know where it is?" I looked at him in total disbelief before realizing he is serioius and answering, "On the front of the cockpit door." He did several other things over the next few days which made it very evident to me he had no business flying an RJ.

 

[dseagrav]

"On the front of the cockpit door."

..which is double plus ungood because it says he completely missed it every other time he used the door.

If it was a snake, etc etc.

 

[rcbullock]

..a FO at that company who starting bringing a bunch of dolls in the plane ...

Were they action figures?

 

[Oldtimerpilot]

The biggest loser I've ever flown with is myself. I remember pissing into a sandwich bag, and setting it onto the seat next to me. I went to a dark little airport, where I met a van to offload my freight. I left the pee-bag in the plane, as I hopped out to unload. When I went back to get the sack, so I could throw it out, I slipped on the wing and fell chest-first onto the pee-bag. Piss was all over my chest, the cockpit, etc. I got to fly home that way, and spent a couple hours Febreezing everything I could touch.

Being 26 years old and covered, chest down, in your own piss is one of those big loser moments.

I laughed so hard at this I almost pissed myself!

The biggest losers I've flown with?

- The flight instructor whose a$$ was so wide, I had to reach around behind her to use the elevator trim wheel in a PA28

- The Flight Team dork in college that always carried around and studied his Jane's manual so he could ace the aircraft recognition competition

- The training Capt I flew with who joked about how he intentionally stalled a Citation at 430 "to see what it felt like"

- The guy that always brought canned chicken to eat in the cockpit on long flights. That stuff stunk up the whole airplane.

- The trust fund kid I knew who bought 200 hrs. of right seat time in Twin Commander so he could get hired by a commuter.

- Any pilot who paid for his own training or bought his own type rating to get a job. We should have all nipped that in the bud years ago. I don't mind signing a contract, but paying up front is crap.

Whoo! That does feel good!

 

[Way2Broke]

I- The trust fund kid I knew who bought 200 hrs. of right seat time in Twin Commander so he could get hired by a commuter.

CASW?

 

[Jackass79]

When I was flying checks, the CP was the biggest tool have flown with/for.

1. After shooting and ILS to mins in blowing snow at night with no Artificial horizon(failed 10 miles out). Place a call to the CP asking his advice. His reply ' its ok to fly you have a gps dont you' WTF. After refusing to fly it, sure enough hour and a half later he turns up with another a/c for me, and he flys the other one back to home base!

2. Fired a guy for not flying in a big ice storm. The CP does the run instead, ices up so bad he has to divert. All the couriers cancelled anyway due to the roads being too badly iced up! Looks like the pilot made the right decision... Who has egg on their face??

3. Night IMC away from home base, taxi out to the runway do my run ups. Feather check, prop cable snaps, prop feathers, engine stops. Taxi back call the CP tell him the situation. He turns up a few hours later with another a/c and a mechanic. The mechanic manipulates the governer so it is full fine. CP flies the a/c home with a an unfeatherable prop. The mechanic came with me, smart guy!

Glad I am not working there anymore!! Heard they are looking for pilots, anyone interested! haha

 

[80for80]

When I was flying checks, the CP was the biggest tool have flown with/for.

1. After shooting and ILS to mins in blowing snow at night with no Artificial horizon(failed 10 miles out). Place a call to the CP asking his advice. His reply ' its ok to fly you have a gps dont you' WTF. After refusing to fly it, sure enough hour and a half later he turns up with another a/c for me, and he flys the other one back to home base!

2. Fired a guy for not flying in a big ice storm. The CP does the run instead, ices up so bad he has to divert. All the couriers cancelled anyway due to the roads being too badly iced up! Looks like the pilot made the right decision... Who has egg on their face??

3. Night IMC away from home base, taxi out to the runway do my run ups. Feather check, prop cable snaps, prop feathers, engine stops. Taxi back call the CP tell him the situation. He turns up a few hours later with another a/c and a mechanic. The mechanic manipulates the governer so it is full fine. CP flies the a/c home with a an unfeatherable prop. The mechanic came with me, smart guy!

Glad I am not working there anymore!! Heard they are looking for pilots, anyone interested! haha

Sounds like Airnet and some of the stuff they do.

 

[Flysher]

Sounds like Airnet and some of the stuff they do.

I think (I hope) you mean Airnow. Airnets CP and ACP's are actually pretty cool about stuff like that.

 

[Oldtimerpilot]

CASW?

Ya..that's the place.

 

[jbDC9]

Sounds like Airnet and some of the stuff they do.

Umm, yeah, perhaps you're thinking of some other company?

It's been awhile since I flew there ('90-'93), but in the 2+ years and 2400 hrs I flew at U.S. Check (aka Airnet), not once was I ever pressured to fly or threatened with termination if I didn't fly. From the horror stories I've heard about some of these other freight outfits, I figure I was pretty lucky to fly for Airnet... no complaints at all.

 

[414Flyer]

Ya..that's the place.

Wasnt there a big stink a few years ago, after CASW got the TKS system installed, that CASW was pressuring their pilots to make PIREPs of severe icing, even when it was not severe, to keep other operators grounded?