What's the dumbest thing a crew has ever asked or requested?

[XPOO]

Most dumb thing a pilot has ever said? Hmmm...

This one time, some arrogant prick named Mr. Wu came into a thread he had no business being in, and spouted a whole bunch of mindless dribble. You should have been there to see it, made you feel sorry for the little guy because it was obvious he didn't have a life.

 

[homerjdispatch]

Most dumb thing a pilot has ever said? Hmmm...

This one time, some arrogant prick named Mr. Wu came into a thread he had no business being in, and spouted a whole bunch of mindless dribble. You should have been there to see it, made you feel sorry for the little guy because it was obvious he didn't have a life.

Are you referring to all these brillant statements below by Mr. Wu?

One thing you guys need to realize is that when we call you we're not asking your permission, we're telling you what we're going to do. You can save yourself a whole lot of heartburn by just agreeing with us.

The truth about dispatchers declaring an emergency when the pilot can't be contacted.....


ATC: Flight 123, you copy

F123: Go ahead.

ATC: Your dispatcher declared an emergency because he can't contact you. Proceed to your alternate, XYZ.

F123: Standby. (tries to contact dispatch, but can't)

F123: ATC, we're unable to contact dispatch. Can you do a phone patch.

ATC: No. Too busy.

F123: Did they say the nature of the emergency?

ATC: Negative.

F123: We're unable to verify that the call came from our dispatch so I am proceeding to our destination ABC. If he calls back tell him to pound sand.

So, you acknowledge that you declaring an emergency and being unable to contact the crew is BS so you use my post to illustrate how ATC may not be able to contact us and will ask you to help. Just like Occam's razor says, no matter who declares the emergency the guy in the left seat has the last say in what happens with the flight regardless of what they told you at Sheffield.

You can't link for sh1t

can pretty much guarantee that I've filed more of those than you've flown. How come nearly all of you dispatchers are either pilots or are taking flight lessons but nearly none of the pilots are dispatchers? Things that make you go hmm.

 

[XPOO]

Yeah, it's great to see someone else was there to enjoy all of that. Sad aint it?

 

[CA1900]

Are you referring to all these brillant statements ...

Oh, the irony.....

 

[homerjdispatch]

Oh, the irony.....

You are right....I should have left brillant out....This whole thread is full of brillant remarks by both dispatchers and pilots.

 

[XPOO]

I think he meant, "Oh, the VERBAL irony."

If not, then I find it ironic that there was no irony beforehand to warrant such a statement.

 

[ArcticFlier]

There's no irony in brilliance!

Mr. Wu eats his own boogers............


Whatever..............I'm tired..................


AF

 

[sir5list]

How bout this:

Pilot: I want 3000 lbs extra fuel (ATL - JFK on a CRJ2)

DX: How come? Did I miss something?

Pilot: Don't know if you know, but there is weather up there (current wx has light rain in the vicinity, no alt required)

DX: Ya I know about the wx, I gave you an alt anyway!

Pilot: I want the extra 3000!

DX: Look, I gave you an alt and an extra 1000 for MIT potential. You've got 2800 extra lbs!

Pilot: I don't know if you know this, but this RJ has rivets popping out! This will increase the drag thus requiring the extra 3000 lbs for extra burn!

DX: Time and Initials are--------

 

[onewithwings]

The same captain, several months ago, "instructed" me that the 1 2 3 rule also states that an alternate is required if there are CB's in the forecast.

Canadian rules do require and alternate if CB's are in the metar or forecast for Canadian destinations.

I had a Capt. call for a take-off alternate...then asked me what his take-off alternate fuel was.

 

[falconpilot]

Why I keep coming back to this thread... I don't know? BUT
Mr. Wu.. Your just a freakin idot... Keep your mouth closed, enjoy your little right seat job in a 1900. Your letting your aligator mouth overload your hummingbird brain... Keep telling yourself that you know what your doing.. You probably couldnt find your a$$ with both hands.

 

[405]

There are dog turds in my back yard that impress me more than Wutard. One of my dogs just shat a fat, gnarly pile and I wondered if it could possibly be Wutard here to visit me?

Wutard, are you here to visit? Are you laying in the backyard?

 

[whatfuelpolicy]

Canadian rules do require and alternate if CB's are in the metar or forecast for Canadian destinations.

I had a Capt. call for a take-off alternate...then asked me what his take-off alternate fuel was.

We quit flying into 3rd world countries before I got to my airline, so I am not familiar with Canadian rules.