What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[CA1900]

A few years before, at the gas station in uniform, was asked to fill 'er up by a little old man.

If you center it just right and pump slowly, you can make the Diesel hose fill up a gasoline car.

 

[Boxav8r]

I've got a couple

One morning, about 0200 in the lobby of the Brunswick Hilton, I was waiting for the F/O while standing and talking to the Capt. A Porsche Carrera pulls up, and the guy gets out, walks in the lobby, and hands me the keys while asking me to park it. I told him I'd be happy to, and that I expected to be back in about 2 weeks. Would that be fine with him? After about 3 seconds of standing there with his mouth opened, he realized his mistake and apologized.

I've been asked for directions to the airport long term parking lot while standing in a ticket line. This lady was mad that I didn't know the answer.

I too, often get the "What route do you fly".

And of course, my favorite: Are you building time for a real airline job? My answer: No, I like FedEx better because we have smarter passengers.

************************************
I swear this is true, though I was not asked the question. (I heard it with my own eyes!) I was dead heading out of SLC. Shortly after rotation, the lady in the seat in front of me rang her F/A call button. (Probably between 500 and 1000 agl) The F/A, thinking something was wrong, immediately went to the passenger and asked what she wanted. The lady, just as calmly as if she was sitting in her living room asked the F/A, "What lake is that?" while pointing out the window at The Great Salt Lake.... duh.
F/A: "You're kidding right?
Pax: "No."
F/A: "If you ring that call button again, you'd better be having a heart attack".

************************************
The four phases of flying:

• Paying to fly
• Flying for free
• Getting paid to fly
• Getting paid NOT to fly

 

[Steveair]

All by the same moron while I was dead heading...


"Do you fly the Canadian Air Regional Jet?"

"Whoa! Are we pulling G's???"

"What's that light on the wing for?"

 

[CapnVegetto]

You know, there's a deer season, duck season, rabbit season, etc......why can't we have a stupid people season? For about 3 months out of the year, whenever you see someone that is stupid, you can just shoot 'em. That would be nice.

 

[Blucher]

But then who would run the airlines and collect all those golden parachutes?:uzi:

 

[suupah]

while working at applebees (the second job)

Why do you work here if you are a pilot. Aren't you rich?

 

[DDpaysoff]

1. "Why are we delayed to Boston?" Weather. "What do they not have lights on the runway or something?"

2. I overheard a pax say this to a F/A during boarding, "Who did you piss off at Delta to fly this thing?"

3. If I had a dime for everytime I heard this one, "Don't you get scared flying around those planes up in the sky?"

4. "Are these propeller planes safe?" Keep in mind we were on a jet.

5. "Why is this flight always late?" I said, Welcome to New York.

6. One of my non-flying freinds call me up. "Hey, when are you going to be in Jacksonville again, my new girlfriend has a hot friend who loves guys with cash.

7. "Weather delay, yeah right, there is not a cloud in the sky"

8. Another non flying freind of mine gets on a delta connection chautaqua plane down in Lauderdale and asks the flight attendant if she knew me. He said, "he flies those delta planes". She must have assumed mainline and says, "no that's where they send the good pilots."

9. Do we have enough fuel for this?

10. I was in the laundry room at my apartment complex chatting with some guy waiting for our laundry to finish. He said, so what do you do. I'm a pilot, I fly. He had this blank stare on his face and said, "and you live here, I thought you guys made a ton of money"

Some thug looking guy in indy once asked me, how do you become a pilot? Do you get to smoke pot still?

 

[CapnVegetto]

1. "Why are we delayed to Boston?" Weather. "What do they not have lights on the runway or something?"

2. I overheard a pax say this to a F/A during boarding, "Who did you piss off at Delta to fly this thing?"

3. If I had a dime for everytime I heard this one, "Don't you get scared flying around those planes up in the sky?"

4. "Are these propeller planes safe?" Keep in mind we were on a jet.

5. "Why is this flight always late?" I said, Welcome to New York.

6. One of my non-flying freinds call me up. "Hey, when are you going to be in Jacksonville again, my new girlfriend has a hot friend who loves guys with cash.

7. "Weather delay, yeah right, there is not a cloud in the sky"

8. Another non flying freind of mine gets on a delta connection chautaqua plane down in Lauderdale and asks the flight attendant if she knew me. He said, "he flies those delta planes". She must have assumed mainline and says, "no that's where they send the good pilots."

9. Do we have enough fuel for this?

10. I was in the laundry room at my apartment complex chatting with some guy waiting for our laundry to finish. He said, so what do you do. I'm a pilot, I fly. He had this blank stare on his face and said, "and you live here, I thought you guys made a ton of money"

Some thug looking guy in indy once asked me, how do you become a pilot? Do you get to smoke pot still?

Regarding #6......one word.....

LIE!!!

 

[DDpaysoff]

Oh, I forgot one. "How do you take-off in the snow?"

 

[scottn2flying]

bump......