What's the dumbest question you've been asked as a pilot?

[Remington]

Just before push in a commuter plane we needed a pax count so we axed the FA how many people were on board.

Pilot: How may folks are back there?
FA: We have 20 open seats. Whats 37 minus 20?

 

[whaleroast]

Just before push in a commuter plane we needed a pax count so we axed the FA how many people were on board.

You must be a Memphis rampy.

 

[Blucher]

You must be a Memphis rampy.

Not necessarily. They ax that question all the time in the ATL.

-Blucher

 

[ksu_aviator]

OH geese so many questions:

Flying on SWA from HOU to DFW, a passenger turns to me and asks "are they lined up on the right runway?"
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Another SWA trip from RDU to BNA, we where running to the gate to try and make the last flight out (which was delayed for weather I believe). I find a seat between an older woman and a younger guy. The women strikes up a conversation:

Her: Are you a pilot?
Me: Yes.
Her: Is the Chieftan a good airplane?
Me: I believe so.
Her: My husband died on one of those.

She said it just so matter of factly that I was stunned. What do you say? I mean you could have replaced the sentence with "my husband flies on of those" she said it so casually. She kept asking annoying questions...finally asking "do you know what might have caused the crash?" I wanted to respond with: "To get away from you" but I couldn't do it.
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Got this all the time out of MSP

FA: A passenger wants to know what lake that is
Me: Looking down at 200 lakes: "That is Lake Chickawa"

I had to have been right at least once
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Ok Not an aviation question, but it is fun to see the looks on people's faces when I answer

Them: Oh, you're from Kansas, do you live in Kansas City?
Me: No, Kansas City is not in Kansas.
Them: :erm:

Them: Well do you know Dorothy?
Me: No I don't f*cking know Dorothy, Dorothy is a character played by an actress on a f*cking movie that I wish would f*cking go away.

 

[acaTerry]

HA! Was that the Sherwinator? :uzi: (love the new smileys)

Stupidest question I got was from the clerk at a convenience store in downtown Plattsburgh, NY, in the middle of February:

"So....." He looks up and down at my uniform. "Are you in the Navy?"

It was all I could do to hold back mentioning that the closest body of water that wasn't a solid brick of ice was the Atlantic Ocean, a couple hundred miles away.

"Uhh... no."

Don't laugh man, can you believe we have a Coast Gaurd unit here in PHX? We really do!

 

[acaTerry]

Relax, Bush and Co. will soon replace all of them with the non-english speaking, minimum wage earning, not giving a $hit private screeners. All because the Dept. of homeland security needs to save money.

Securing the country is secondary.

Oh another idiot who can find a way to blame Bush for EVERYTHING! Stop yer crybabying....

 

[acaTerry]

Doing a static display in Santa Monica for NJA, with my mighty Beechjet...
One chick comes up and asks me if it's a jet or a prop.
Not 10 minutes later another comes up and asks where the engines are. Sometimes even the hillbillies look smart!

 

[Gottafly74]

Its a tie for me,

1. After a 15 hr day and one leg to go, an old lady asks where the safest seat in the house is. Because she sounds like our annoying a** flight attendant, i simply say in the back without looking who was asking the question. Next question from her was " Why is that?". In frustration i say " When was the last time you heard of an airplane backing into to a fu***** mountain. FO starts laughing and suddenly stops, its then we both realize its a grandma with her grandchild in tow.

2. Kid asks if im a cop. I politely say, "No, they belong to a real union".

 

[sqwkvfr]

Them: Oh, you're from Kansas, do you live in Kansas City?
Me: No, Kansas City is not in Kansas.

Really?

I would think that anyone from Kansas would know that there is, in fact, a Kansas City, Kansas......and it's only the third largest city in the state.

I understand your point, but you're actually more incorrect than the "stupid" person posing the question.

 

[Kream926]

Its a tie for me,



2. Kid asks if im a cop. I politely say, "No, they belong to a real union".

ha i got that once in line at a taco bell....me and my buddy standin there we say no we are pilot....turns around and sais that sucks, you should be "polices "

 

[Kream926]

Still my favorite..."are you the PILOT or just the COPILOT?"
Some things, no matter how old, never lose their meaning....

my sida badge sais "PILOT ABC airlines"

the TSA lady checking badges at the entrance sais...

"you're a pilot?" (in full uniform mind you)

"yes i am"

"with only 3 stripes? i think you are a co pilot..."

 

[SplitBar]

"Are you a pilot"

"What route do you fly"

"When did you know you wanted to be a pilot"

:uzi:

 

[Goose Egg]

"What route do you fly"

Like a bus driver!

 

[Grey Ghost]

Q: are you old enough to fly ?

A: No, I have to be home before 10....

---

Q: how do you know where we are ?

---

Q: how do you know which switch to push ??

--

ohh well, I don't care, I'll just keep smiling..

hows scenic>?

 

[EHE2]

"Are you a pilot"

"What route do you fly"

"When did you know you wanted to be a pilot"

:uzi:

I just got that exact same question today...

 

[ohplease!]

ummm....do you think you get what you pay for with alpa?....ummmm, No!

 

[Occam's Razor]

ummm....do you think you get what you pay for with alpa?....ummmm, No!

The question...and your response, would be totally valid if you simply cut off the last 8 words of the question.

Try cranberry juice.

 

[vectorvictor]

Can't make this stuff up....

"How high have you been?"

My reply, "Its been a while since I've been really high."

 

[AugerPtrol]

I was flying a Jball into Marion, Ill and this SIU puke was sitting in row 1 looking at our GPS and saw a groundspeed in the 300's. After the flight he said, "I noticed that your speed was well above the 250 limit below 10,000 the whole flight!" He continued, "I would report you, but I might need a job here in a couple of years so I will let it slide this time boys."

 

[JSky26]

I was flying a Jball into Marion, Ill and this SIU puke was sitting in row 1 looking at our GPS and saw a groundspeed in the 300's. After the flight he said, "I noticed that your speed was well above the 250 limit below 10,000 the whole flight!" He continued, "I would report you, but I might need a job here in a couple of years so I will let it slide this time boys."

Sorry bout that experience. We do have a couple d-bags here, but we all aren't like that!