Brother, we think alike on this

. I started out thinking that we should all just dip our ties in cheap rye whiskey, but that isn't real professional and I don't want to scare the pax. I've recently thought about wadding up a kleenex and dipping it in Jack, wearing it through security, and then tossing it into the trash after clearing security. Both of those plans actually require that we have some Jack somewhere in our possession, which could be trouble, so they're out of consideration. '
Lately, I've been wondering if the security screeners might also be on the lookout for bad breath and strong mouthwash. My latest idea is to eat Italian, heavy on the garlic, and gargle with cheap-no-alcohol mouthwash just before entering security. The only drawback is that the FO better follow the same plan or my breath might run him/her out of the cockpit.
Or maybe, I could just do the cheap mouthwash thing. Once the mouthwash wears off, I'm back to normal. It could work, maybe we should start a movement.
Another idea just popped up, Does anyone know if the listerine pocket pacs contain any amount of alcohol? They are certainly strong in the smell department. Maybe we should all start popping a double dose of listerine pocket strips before every time we enter security.
I'm doing it. Who's with me?
BTW, why is it that the TSA smelled booze, but the other crew members did not? We all should really start doing the self police deal. If I ever manage to run out of brains and tie one on, I'd certainly appreciate it if my co-worker started the day off with, "dude, you smell like a bloody brewery. CALL IN SICK"