Rez,
I completely respect your position because I know that you believe it is the best situation for your family.
Now, in MY opinion, I would NEVER recommend staying home to anyone. It was the most boring years of my life. I am so glad it is almost over and I never actually did all the domesticated things I'm sure you make your wife do. I always had a cook and a cleaning lady and the kids had nannies, the only thing I did insist on is that my kids study hard in school, that they play hard in sports, and they have fun in life. We laughed a lot and hugged a lot, that's it. That's all I did. I left the dirty work for the hired help. And I still found it boring. I loved the kids to pieces but I think that raising kids is not as rewarding as some would like you to believe. I would not recommend it as a fulfilling career.
I failed at the Mommy of the Year Awards: I didn't sign up for class mom ever for any of them, I let them each pick ONE class trip a year to chaperone, I payed my way out of having to work the snack bar at Little League, I dreaded "back to school night" but armed myself with a nice tall glass a vino beforehand to help get me through the torture, I bought cake for birthdays and all partys were catered, crafts were a no-no.
I did something right though. One boy at Yale, one applying early action (and no doubt getting it) and another hoping for Northwestern in a couple years. They drive themselves wherever they need to go nowadays, so I'm off that hook too. My Point: It doesn't take constant "stay home" moms to produce decent kids. I didn't have to clean my house, cook for my family and sacrifice MY LIFE to ensure that my kids succeeded....they had to do that on their own. I had a job (eventually I went back), their dad had a job and they had a job (school). We took school very seriously and I believe it has a lot to do with the fact that no one was ever just sitting around doing nothing. Everyone worked. Kids were expected to get A's.
Someday my boys will marry and I hope they respect their wives enough to let her decide what is the best course for her. Her children will turn out better if she is happy.
I just read in the paper today that at least 2/3 of all divorces are because the woman wants out. I am not surprised when I read what some of the men on this board have posted. It sounds like slavery, not marriage.
