Toilet Seat Cover question

MALSR

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Yesterday at work I sat down in my seat and began the before start flow when I heard some rumbling down below...and no ordinary rumbling. You know, the kind that gives you the pucker factor before the fact. Its only 20 minutes prior to pushback so I have a decision to make. Do I use the lav and stink up my whole entire 70-seat airplane or do I run into the terminal for a real toilet? Alas! I opted for the later and made a dash (pigeon-toed no less) up the jetway towards the closest public bathroom. Now comes decision #2. Do I have time to put down the ass gasket (those thin, waxy, tissue type toilet paper-like seat covers offered in public bathrooms- see link below) or should I just sit down on the Hepatitis infested bare toilet seat? I opted to put down the ass gasket, sat down, and let out a real Navajo spackle job. As I was congratulating myself and wiping the sweat from my brow, I happened to glance downward and notice that I put the ass gasket on backwards. Or did I? Normally I put down the toilet seat cover with the flappy end towards the back but in my panic I ended up setting it down with the flappy end forward. It seemed to work even better! Which brings me to my final question to the regional pilot community, whom uses public restroom facilities to their fullest potential, which way is the flappy end on ass gaskets supposed to go? Forward or backward? Oh, and yes, we were on time with a Tyler Wojo incident averted.

http://www.made-in-china.com/image/...le-Toilet-Seat-Covers-Waterproof-D-01-10-.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xFmvZ7K8kWw/SKidLmpYyJI/AAAAAAAAB_o/ypuaLdUAMO0/s400/Disposable.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_qMy79IpeC.../s400/Disposable_Toilet_Seat_Paper_Covers.jpg
 
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s.o.sJTB

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Flappy part forward, protects the soldier from touching bare parts of the toilet!
 

Data

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I'll be damned. I was doing it backwards all these years.
I just figured this out about 3 months ago. I always wondered what that thingy was hanging down in the back for, thinking maybe it was a mud flap for the toilet.
 

DX Jake

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This has to be the funniest thing I have ever read. EVER.
 

DX Jake

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This has to be the funniest thing I have ever read. EVER.
I always thought the flappy part went aft, so it could touch the water, hence the water grabbing it when you flush.
 

COOPERVANE

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Anybody have a link to that RIF written by the distressed "grumbling below" pilot who ran back inside the terminal after pushback?
 

Beaver79

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I've never actually used one of the seat condoms....I'm still doing the hover dump....Keeps me physically fit with muscle contraction in the glutes and quads, and my ass from whatever alien life forms are on the seat....but to answer your question, I thought it went to back for flushing purposes...

Hilarious thread by the way...EVERYONE on this forum has been in the grumbly in the tummy situation....
 
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JettBoii

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Those are as impervious as wet toilet paper. Not protecting you from anything. However I would use a stack of them to protect my arse if I had to blow stew in the lav on the airplane. Which brings to mind why dont we start a thread on all of the many colorful substitutes for defecating.
 

great cornholio

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Jabwmu

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I Frog it.
 

s3jetman

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When one removes the said toilet seat condom when does one separate the flappy end from the ring? I was using one just the other day and became concerned if was to tear it from the ring or pray that my "substance" would have the weight to break it from the ring? After a eating a healthy meal at an imitation TocoBell, cause regional pilots cant possibly afford the real one, I was worried that my "substance", which would easily flow through a screen door, would break the paper or if the liquid would be absorbed like a sponge and contaminate the ring leading to skin contamination. Then i thought about the shear force that liquid has when flow is restricted and i was at ease with my decision to leave both ends attached.The challenges we face everyday outside the cockpit are sometimes more risky than actually flying!
 

dcfu69

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I use the family restrooms. Less use and usually cleaner. But then again I have no shame and don't care if someone else is waiting. Or if thats not an option you can bring some sani wipes in the crapper and wipe the seat down. I hate using that $hitty toilet condom. Bare is Better baby.. feels good too.
 

Rez O. Lewshun

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A real regional pilot can use jedi mind tricks on his GI tract and hold off till the hotel..... thus allow himself to relax all while cocking the bi-fold closet mirror door properly so he can watch TV while sitting and reading OK! celeb magazine....
 
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