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Toilet Seat Cover question

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Those are as impervious as wet toilet paper. Not protecting you from anything. However I would use a stack of them to protect my arse if I had to blow stew in the lav on the airplane. Which brings to mind why dont we start a thread on all of the many colorful substitutes for defecating.
 
I Frog it.
 
When one removes the said toilet seat condom when does one separate the flappy end from the ring? I was using one just the other day and became concerned if was to tear it from the ring or pray that my "substance" would have the weight to break it from the ring? After a eating a healthy meal at an imitation TocoBell, cause regional pilots cant possibly afford the real one, I was worried that my "substance", which would easily flow through a screen door, would break the paper or if the liquid would be absorbed like a sponge and contaminate the ring leading to skin contamination. Then i thought about the shear force that liquid has when flow is restricted and i was at ease with my decision to leave both ends attached.The challenges we face everyday outside the cockpit are sometimes more risky than actually flying!
 
I use the family restrooms. Less use and usually cleaner. But then again I have no shame and don't care if someone else is waiting. Or if thats not an option you can bring some sani wipes in the crapper and wipe the seat down. I hate using that $hitty toilet condom. Bare is Better baby.. feels good too.
 
A real regional pilot can use jedi mind tricks on his GI tract and hold off till the hotel..... thus allow himself to relax all while cocking the bi-fold closet mirror door properly so he can watch TV while sitting and reading OK! celeb magazine....
 

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