Tails of the Freight Dog

[Chubaka]

The hell with that one wimpy article in Mens's Vogue. We should start our own magazine for cargo pilots. Tails of the Freight Dog. It will be a no holds barred discussion of our industry. It will cover all the bases: Nudity, hers, not yours. Whorehouses, and how not to get caught, like Spritzler. Good spicy food. The proper way to sleep in an airplane so as not to crik your neck. The time you farted and the jumpseaters eyes started watering, man, her make up ran everywhere. Who is better skinny bitches or fat chicks. How to haggle effectively with a prostitute. And more tips and everyday wisdom.

 

[phr8dawg]

It already exists. Its called the NASA form.

 

[landlover]

why not just start a thread! not just stories about damn near sharting your self. who want to light this firecracker?

 

[mrvmo]

What goes on.....on the road stays on the road.

When will you pups learn?:smash:

 

[ableone]

What goes on.....on the road stays on the road.

When will you pups learn?:smash:

Too True.

Plausible Deniability; The freight dog's friend.

Flights over, paperwork's gone, don't remember nothin.

 

[hvydriver]

Too True.

Plausible Deniability; The freight dog's friend.

Flights over, paperwork's gone, don't remember nothin.

True that. My personal mantra: "Deny everything, and make counter accusations".

 

[Fly Astar Jets]

True that. My personal mantra: "Deny everything, and make counter accusations".

"The Pilots Creed of Plausible Deniability"

1) Deny all knowledge.
Ex. "Tail strike?? I don't know nuthen about no tail strike!!"

2) Make counter accusations.
Ex. "Tail Strike?? Heeey wait a minute. Didn't you fly this airplane last?!?!?"

3) If all else fails..... lie.
Ex.1 "Tail strike?? Ahhh you see all that Skydrol? Ate the red paint right off that thing. Damn cheap paint!!
Ex.2 "Tail strike?? Man, we had this lightning strike over Paducah see. Wheew! Blew that tail skid right off!!!

Read it. Learn it. Live it.

FAJ

 

[EuroWheenie]

1) The ability to make complicated math, whereby you make the FO think he ows 85% of the bill and the FE the other 20%.

2) Blame everything on Ground Handling, Dispatch or Engineering. If that is not an possible, Management is always an option but may require a slightly more complicated explanation to cover your cock-ups.

3) Knowing the best places for good food, cold beer and cheap women - not necessarily in that order.

4) The ability to convince the hotel that you are indeed allowed to bill room service, minibar and pay-tv to the company.

5) The cunning trick of watching pay-tv for free. Turn on the movie, call reception and bitch it doesn't work and have it wiped off the bill. Works every time; I haven't payed for a training movie in years.

6) Intimate knowledge of airflow inside the aeroplane, so you can sneak a crafty ciggy knowing the exact path the smoke will take. Remembering to empty the ashtray, and failing that resort to Rule 2.

7) Knowing by heart the price of tax-free booze and smoke in at least 27 international airports around the globe.

8) Have the build-in GPS in your mobile phone programmed with the address of at least 10 different whorehouses in as many countries.

9) The ability to run out of cash/forget your credit card on the nights when things get a little out of hand, knowing full well your fellow crew members will have no recollection of what transpired when they wake up the following afternoon.

 

[J Dawg]

The hell with that one wimpy article in Mens's Vogue. We should start our own magazine for cargo pilots. Tails of the Freight Dog. It will be a no holds barred discussion of our industry. It will cover all the bases: Nudity, hers, not yours. Whorehouses, and how not to get caught, like Spritzler. Good spicy food. The proper way to sleep in an airplane so as not to crik your neck. The time you farted and the jumpseaters eyes started watering, man, her make up ran everywhere. Who is better skinny bitches or fat chicks. How to haggle effectively with a prostitute. And more tips and everyday wisdom.

This book is what you are looking for....

http://www.amazon.com/review/produc...tBy=bySubmissionDateDescending#R1Z3ZFLPGBC1CB

 

[belchfire]

Euro, I'm working on it...nice list-I'm concentrating on the beer for now. With a sound knowedge of beverages the rest more or less falls into place!

2 minutes after getting to the room...

"Reception"

"Yeah, hey, my mini-bar is empty. Isn't Ramadan over?"

Hehehehehehe