Stupidest Aviation Question You Ever Got Asked/Heard

[BRIGADEAVIATOR]

hahahahaha thats too funny!! smart, i mean like she really would question it lol. But i have to say the stupidest thing i heard was (and this was touched on before)

Him: "Should i wear a flightsuit on my crosscounty??"
Me: (look down shaking head laughing silently)

 

[bafanguy]

I came out of the cockpit at the gate and had a lady standing at the lav door ask me if it was OK to flush while we were on the ground.

Having taken a few train trips ( a very cool way to travel, by the way ) as a kid, I can remember seeing the tracks whiz by when the john was flushed and seeing a sigh in the john that said " Do Not flush While Train Is In The Station".

I assured her it was very OK. Got to cut people some slack. Not everybody travels a lot, even these days.

Life is short...be nice to people.

 

[Corona]

Lessee:

Student sets DG 20 degrees off actual compass heading (common mistake-we've all done it) before x-c flight. Naturally, we're off course pretty quick. I'm trying to get him to admit/deal with being lost, so I point to the shoreline inching up on the starboard side, attempting to orient said student and ask: "What ocean is that?" Answer: "Is that the Pacific?"

Another student, doing part of prep for Private checkride: Student power-on stalls very sloppy; 152 drops left wing violently. Student sez: "Your airplane!" and lets go the controls as we enter an incipient spin @2000'. Lotsa, lotsa, lotsa remedial instruction after that one.

Flying as F/O on bizjet; carrying a fun-loving group. One guy, before we board, sez the others once conviced him he was seeing Crater Lake below (it was some lake bed in CA), then they laughed at him. No problem, I said, I'll point out Crater Lake when we fly over.
'Bout one hour later, I point out my window at a lake and tell him "There's Crater Lake..." He says: "Really? Cool..." and scurries over to the window. "Hey, wait," he says "That's not Crater Lake! That's Lake Shasta!" Entire group of pax about dies laughing. "Azzhole!" he hollers at me. Good times. (Moral to the story: Don't talk to pilots.)

C

 

[PHX767]

You get tired of hearing from the pax ....

When flying the BE1900:
"I hate flying these little planes! I flew a bigger one last week."

When flying the MD80:
"I hate flying these little planes!I flew a bigger one last week"

When flying the 757:
"I hate flying these little planes!I flew a bigger one last week"

When flying the 767:
"I hate flying these little planes!I flew a bigger one last week"

And I am sure they will say on the first flight of the A-380:
"I hate flying these little planes!I flew a bigger one last week"

At least now I can say, "Well, it's your little plane. Buy a bigger one."

 

[DAS at 10/250]

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlyJordan
I like the engine falling off part, I have wondered about this before, I dont really mean to make another stupidest question ever, but say for some reason the engine did "fall off" on a piston single, would that throw your CG to far out to still be able to land?



If you're talking about something like a 152/172, yeah you'd be a lawn dart.

no elevator authority...

........or so I'm told. Don't want to find out.

-mini

In Texas a couple of years back a C172 engine took the left wing off of an Air Force trainer (may have been a tweet), 172 lost it all firewall forward, AF guys punched out. CFI landed the plane without incident in a field. Aircraft would stall, recover, stall, recover, etc all the way to the ground.

 

[NuGuy]

Got to cut people some slack. Not everybody travels a lot, even these days.

Life is short...be nice to people.

Bafan, of course you are right...but there is a difference between a grandmother, or a mom trying to travel with 3 little ones and a dude who is just too self important to even breathe for himself.

Your profile says the CV-880...what in the world was that critter like to fly?? Any experience with the 990?

Nu

 

[KigAir]

Girl at work: Does your plane have an auto-pilot?
Me: Yes.
Girl at work: So you get to sleep while flying at night..
Me: Sure

 

[minitour]

In Texas a couple of years back a C172 engine took the left wing off of an Air Force trainer (may have been a tweet), 172 lost it all firewall forward, AF guys punched out. CFI landed the plane without incident in a field. Aircraft would stall, recover, stall, recover, etc all the way to the ground.

Wow...that's kinda cool to know...I'll have to share that one next time I head in for some ground. Thanks!

-mini

 

[AA717driver]

Me, laying in bed shortly after the AA buyout of TWA was finalized:

"Ahhhh. Finally I don't have to worry about losing my job... "

TC

 

[Princedietrich]

I overheard this one in the classroom at a major university's aviation department where I used to teach. A senior level instructor was doing ground school with a CFII candidate and asked the kid how many gyros are in the attitude indicator. The kid replied that there's one gyro, but the instructor immediately chastised him since there are TWO in there because it moves in the X and Y axis.

One day I was sitting in the lobby of our flight school at KLUK and this older guy in a red jogging suit comes in. He begins a several minute long tirate at us for ruining that perfectly good jogging path by putting an airport in the middle of it.

A noise complaint that came in to my current company about one of our learjets, the lady said that it flew THROUGH her house. When asked to clarify, she said it went right in the front door and right out the back door.

In the front office of a 727, I was at the panel and the FO was in the right seat (both of us in mid 20s) while the mid50s captain was greeting passengers as they boarded. An old lady gets on, looks at the captain, looks in the cockpit at us, cringes, and scurries to her seat. Her husband was right behind her and commented that she's afraid to fly and is glad to see a little gray hair in the cockpit because it means the captains knows what he's doing. The captain replied with a perfect poker face "Oh, I don't really know how to fly at all, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

Again in the 727, in the middle of the night over the carribean somewhere, one of the FAs comes in to check on us an asks how we're able to know where we're going if we can't see anything. The captain (same guy as the previous story) replies that it's with celestial navigation, and he uses that little telescope in the window above his head to look at the moon to determine position. She didn't believe him, so he offered her to look for herself. She spent a good 5 minutes perched on the armrest of his seat with her eye firmly pressed to the MAP LIGHT, fully convinced that the little glow she was seeing was the moon.

This exchange happened over KLUK tower freq years ago:
ME: Lunken Tower, Cessna 740, ILS 21L
Tower: Cessna 740, cleared to land 21L
(at this point a USA Jet Falcon 20 cut me off and joined the localizer less than half a mile in front of me)
Tower: Cessna 740..... is that a Falcon jet in front of you?!
ME: .............. sure looks like one sir..........
Falcon Jet: Lunken Tower, USA Jet XXXX with you on visual for 25.