Strangest/funny reason's you have refused an aircraft

[Headfake14]

I was given a 727 once that had a removed engine. Nothing in the logs about it. It was just not on the plane. So i wrote it up "left engine missing". It took 2 days for mx to figure out why and where the engine is.

LOL...THAT...is awesome. :laugh:

 

[G4G5]

MD80 last flt out ORD to LGA, on taxi out the FA calls the cockpit, "we have a problem, you need to come back here". We pull off into the penalty box and the FA's gang up on me, 10 or so pax are complaining, they tell me that they want off the aircraft, unless one of the pax is removed. I ask what he had done, they answer nothing, but he STINKS!

I laugh and then walk back to take a wiff, the dude is pungent to say the least. He smells foul and he knows it. I sit down next to him and ask what the deal is. Turns out that he was on a hunting trip deep in the woods with the boys and a skunk came by and pissed all over his gear (clothes included). He is on a connecting flt (no place to wash clothes and gear). It a Sunday night and he needs to be at work in the morning. He smells like he was the skunk, he's embarrassed and asks what he can do.

I tell him to move to the last row, tell the FA's that they don't have to serve him and move all the pax as far forward as possible. A few squawk but when they find out it's the hotel or home because their are no more flts and I am about to time out, they back off. Did I mention that it was the last leg of a 3 day sequence for me.

 

[IBNAV8R]

Pax boards and take a huge steamer in the lav right behind the cockpit. Our eyes are watering and we're holding our breath. Station says they can't do a lav service. Not only that but the log wouldn't flush. Captain states he will not take the aircraft like this and gets off so he can breath - followed closely by his F/O. Finally, this ramp supervisor dons a glove and a "Thank You" bag and retrieves the offending article by hand. After a few minutes, the fog cleared and we departed.

 

[ron burgundy]

Strangest/funny reason's you have refused an aircraft

'Cause Airlines suck and I didn't feel like going to work!

 

[007]

Wasn't me, but a few years ago at XJT, we supposedly had a ramper connect the A/C to the lav service valve, blowing blue juice and chunks all over the lav and the rear part of the cabin. Now I sounds to good to be true to me since the connections are different sizes, but I wouldn't put anything past a ramper.

 

[Sandhawk]

Pax boards and take a huge steamer in the lav right behind the cockpit. Our eyes are watering and we're holding our breath. Station says they can't do a lav service. Not only that but the log wouldn't flush. Captain states he will not take the aircraft like this and gets off so he can breath - followed closely by his F/O. Finally, this ramp supervisor dons a glove and a "Thank You" bag and retrieves the offending article by hand. After a few minutes, the fog cleared and we departed.

This belongs in the Diahrrea in a Freighter thread !!!

:laugh:

 

[Dornier 335]

Heard about a crew that found a E145 in IAD early morning where someone had pissed over the entire cockpit.

 

[Newjetjockey]

Pax boards and take a huge steamer in the lav right behind the cockpit. Our eyes are watering and we're holding our breath. Station says they can't do a lav service. Not only that but the log wouldn't flush. Captain states he will not take the aircraft like this and gets off so he can breath - followed closely by his F/O. Finally, this ramp supervisor dons a glove and a "Thank You" bag and retrieves the offending article by hand. After a few minutes, the fog cleared and we departed.

Why didn't you pull the "Speed of Smell" checklist? Here, this may help next time:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3M27YdA_JQo

 

[Tweaker]

I recall a PSA crew in CLT recieving a crew meal in the cockpit. After they were placed on the cockpit floor a mouse jumped out of the package and ran down the aisle into the fully loaded Pax cabin.

Deplaned and MX tried to find it. I don't remember the results.

 

[Captain X]

Beehive under foward panel in E120.

Maintanence write-up: Aircraft has bees.

 

[Max Powers]

Greenville, Mississippi home of Catfish farms which means home to breeding grounds for mosquitoes........Early morning show SF-340. Rampers hated flight crew there with a passion. Wouldn't even make eye contact with you or grunt good morning when you try and say hi with a smile. These rampers routinely left the aircraft door open with the cockpit door open as well hoping the mosquitoes would annoy you. We arrived to about 20-30 mosquitoes buzzing around in the cockpit. I wrote it up. Contract maint. arrives with a can of OFF we left after the stench dissipated.

 

[Capi_Cafre']

I'll try "Metroliner Pedestals Sprayed With Projectile Vomiting From 1 E" for $200, Alex.....