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Strangest/funny reason's you have refused an aircraft

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Summer time Kansas City Air Midwest Beech 1900D + cargo load of fish that leaked badly into the belly of the airplane = :puke:

It was finally taken out of service and power washed out.
 
Rampers pumped about 15 gallons of blue juice into a emb 140 lav without even dumping it first. Capacity is about 4 gallons if memory serves. The whole rear of the airplane was flooded, complete with turds sailing down the aisle!! :puke:
 
Tiller installed backwards. took me 30 minutes to figure out what was wrong with it. My hand felt very funny on it. Finally had to go look at another airplane to make sure i wasnt crazy
 
Got in a CRJ in the summer of '04, my F/O is a 20-something girl, somewhat quiet but pleasant, flew with her before. Suddenly she SHRIEKS and is out of the cockpit faster than I knew was possible without an ejection handle on the seat.

I'm freaking, looking for the poisonous snake or other equally offensive item, poised to bolt myself, and I see...

A bumblebee.

She's allergic. Deathly allergic. I kill the stupid thing with the QRH, she comes back in after I promise it's dead... and ANOTHER one crawls out of the space in between her rear window and the overhead.

Reason for refused plane: unknown numbers of bumblebees making home behind overhead panel.

Base manager calls, "You're refusing the plane for WHAT?" After I explain to him the allergy issues of my F/O and the consequences of having 3 or 4 bumblebees starting to attack you 20 kts prior to V1, he backed off. Maintenance took 3 hours to come out, pull the entire upper panel down, and killed almost a dozen of the little suckers...
 
From CLT to LGA in a CRJ 900. No FD, No auto pilot, one radio MELed, Vertical speed mode inop, FMS inop, GPWS inop. But hey it was airworthy according to the regs. The next crew also refused the bird. In the ultimate game of pass the buck dispatch switched us into theirs and vice versa. The CP called the next crew and said why did you refuse to fly an airworthy plane? Turns out that he had also refused the same bird 3 days earlier and sent it to the hangar. He didn’t realize that it was the same bird until they started discussing the problems. He called maintenance and it went back to the hangar.

That's classic.
 
I was given a 727 once that had a removed engine. Nothing in the logs about it. It was just not on the plane. So i wrote it up "left engine missing". It took 2 days for mx to figure out why and where the engine is.


LOL...THAT...is awesome. :laugh:
 
MD80 last flt out ORD to LGA, on taxi out the FA calls the cockpit, "we have a problem, you need to come back here". We pull off into the penalty box and the FA's gang up on me, 10 or so pax are complaining, they tell me that they want off the aircraft, unless one of the pax is removed. I ask what he had done, they answer nothing, but he STINKS!

I laugh and then walk back to take a wiff, the dude is pungent to say the least. He smells foul and he knows it. I sit down next to him and ask what the deal is. Turns out that he was on a hunting trip deep in the woods with the boys and a skunk came by and pissed all over his gear (clothes included). He is on a connecting flt (no place to wash clothes and gear). It a Sunday night and he needs to be at work in the morning. He smells like he was the skunk, he's embarrassed and asks what he can do.

I tell him to move to the last row, tell the FA's that they don't have to serve him and move all the pax as far forward as possible. A few squawk but when they find out it's the hotel or home because their are no more flts and I am about to time out, they back off. Did I mention that it was the last leg of a 3 day sequence for me.
 
Pax boards and take a huge steamer in the lav right behind the cockpit. Our eyes are watering and we're holding our breath. Station says they can't do a lav service. Not only that but the log wouldn't flush. Captain states he will not take the aircraft like this and gets off so he can breath - followed closely by his F/O. Finally, this ramp supervisor dons a glove and a "Thank You" bag and retrieves the offending article by hand. After a few minutes, the fog cleared and we departed.
 
Strangest/funny reason's you have refused an aircraft

'Cause Airlines suck and I didn't feel like going to work!
 
Wasn't me, but a few years ago at XJT, we supposedly had a ramper connect the A/C to the lav service valve, blowing blue juice and chunks all over the lav and the rear part of the cabin. Now I sounds to good to be true to me since the connections are different sizes, but I wouldn't put anything past a ramper.
 

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