Simple guide to Flight Attendant satisfaction!!!

[talespin]

Not only does this guy smell of Awesome CRM, but I'm guessing his wife loves him too. HAHAH

He said "THANKS" twice, what else do you want?

 

[SFR]

Oh, not to mention, a large meat stick helps with FA satisfaction also.

 

[Crash Pad]

See I'm a little different. First I walk on the aircraft and ignore the FA's completely while I stow my stuff.

Then in an after thought just as the passengers are coming down I give them a quick briefing... I make sure to screw up there names and on occasion just use the classic "where did what's her tits go?"

Then just before I retreat to the front for the rest of the flight I go to the most forward lav. and take a massive growler. I don't flush and just leave it there to marinade during boarding.

Stay thirsty my friends.

 

[vtwo]

See I'm a little different. First I walk on the aircraft and ignore the FA's completely while I stow my stuff.

Then in an after thought just as the passengers are coming down I give them a quick briefing... I make sure to screw up there names and on occasion just use the classic "where did what's her tits go?"

Then just before I retreat to the front for the rest of the flight I go to the most forward lav. and take a massive growler. I don't flush and just leave it there to marinade during boarding.

Stay thirsty my friends.

THAT'S GREAT just blew beer out of nose on that one.
I like the front lav Growler Marinate thing. Oh don't for get to rummage through the galley after they have set it up. Grab what ever your going to need for the flight.
They love that too.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

With looks (and personality) like mine, it's not unusual for an FA ('s) to surpise me with a nice box of quality chocolates along with coy giggles, bedroom eyes and a million dollar smile. Since I've a really sweet, hot GF at home, I often need to decline these gracious gifts so as to preclude any jealousy. Does this happen to you often as well?

 

[PBRstreetgang]

I find a nice selection of vibrators works wonders, 220V and heavy cable power corded for the most grizzled NW veteran down to the mini finger job for the SKYW virgins.
PBR

 

[~~~^~~~]

Might have to upgrade to Godiva. It's not the chocolate, it's the label.

Tom, nah really, you can offer them Godiva, but they have one or two of the Twix bars in their mouth while they are tearing the wrapper off the next one. I did offer Godiva. It is like offering a guy a Sweetwater 420 while he's swimming in the brightener tank at the Budwiser Brewery.

Besides, "Godiva - melts in your flight bag, not in your mouth."

What works best when they ignore you is to make a cabin announcement and close with "we'll be arriving at our destination at ellevenenofiverplast." You can hear the cacophony of FA chimes the minute you hang up. When they call the flight deck (annoyed) to say passengers are asking about the arrival time, I go ahead and hit them with my dream list of food and beverages.

I now offer gum and breath fresheners. They seem to like those to chase half melted twix bars. Worst case, you can survive for a day on gum and breath fresheners, I have.

 

[Paul R. Smith]

CAPT:--"DING"
FA:-----Yes captain
CAPT:---I will be coming out in1 minute for the bathroom have it ready, thanks

I minute later

CAPT:---"DING"
FA:------yes Captain?
CAPT:---I will be coming out now thanks.

end of subject.
WTF why is this even an issue? Get a grip and start acting like the CAPTAIN.
Who is in charge of this Airplane??????

+1
Nothing bossy about that.

 

[dtfl]

Here is what I do:


I buy those bags of Ghirardelli dark chocolates and hand them out during the crew briefing.

The gals/guys love it and you get anything you want! I am the kind of guy that does not hold my pee and have jumped out to hit the lav within 45 mitutes of takeoff. They never gripe about it when you set the mood nicely to begin with.

Just another example of "don't work for the system, make the system work for you"


It is easy to get what you want when people are predictable.

STOP THAT!!! Now the former connection carrier FAs will be fat by the time they get to mainline!

 

[dalad]

Wait till you see their faces when you hand out condoms.