Simple guide to Flight Attendant satisfaction!!!

[jhill]

Wait till you see their faces when you hand out condoms.

FA kitty = hazmat. Think about how many ball bearing FA's go both ways. Disgusting.

 

[Stifler's Mom]

Oh, not to mention, a large meat stick helps with FA satisfaction also.

Hence why you bring the chocolates I guess.

 

[BrokeFOsho]

I wonder if there is a thread in the FA forums, or mangaments for that matter that reads:

Simple Guide To Pilot Satisfaction!!!

 

[samballs]

When you guys go to restraunts do you bring things so your waitress is happy? I think not. So whats the difference, a FA is nothing more, as a matter of fact they are overpaid waitress, that get flight benefits, medical, leave, etc. I wish for the day the faa says you don't need Fa's, and allows a machine to up and down the aisle.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

Hence why you bring the chocolates I guess.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

 

[brainhurts]

See I'm a little different. First I walk on the aircraft and ignore the FA's completely while I stow my stuff.

Then in an after thought just as the passengers are coming down I give them a quick briefing... I make sure to screw up there names and on occasion just use the classic "where did what's her tits go?"

Then just before I retreat to the front for the rest of the flight I go to the most forward lav. and take a massive growler. I don't flush and just leave it there to marinade during boarding.

Stay thirsty my friends.

That is awsome. You have honored me with your humor.

 

[The Prussian]

At Northwest all you had to do was throw a couple of twinkies up on the glareshield, then stand back, keep your hands close to your side, and open the cockpit door.

Don't forget to grease the door jams, or you could be talking structural failure.

 

[SizzleChest]

Don't forget to grease the door jams, or you could be talking structural failure.

yeah who ever thought the cockpit door would be a plug-type......

 

[C-150ETOPS]

After 15 years of watching a few hundred different Captains handle FA's at my airline, (stAAgnation Airlines), the most important thing I've learned is to keep it simple, don't use too many words, and most importantly, give them the only clearcut acceptable answer to your request. Do not give them a multiple choice to a problem when there is only 1 correct answer.

Most problems I witnessed started when a request (command) was given, and certain Captains added "if you get a chance of course, if you not too busy, if it's not a bother, if you don't mind, etc" Trust me, at my airline when it comes to the pilots , 75% of them think they don't "have a chance", are too busy, are really bothered, and do mind if you ask something.

Chocolates don't work either. They get pissed that they have to put their false teeth back in to eat them. I usually just shrink those "I Love Cats" bumper stickers down to business card size so they can stick them on their walkers. imp:

 

[jetflier]

Don't forget to grease the door jams, or you could be talking structural failure.

AHhh! You used to work at Northwest!! You remember !!

 

[Bad-Andy]

I wonder if there is a thread in the FA forums, or mangaments for that matter that reads:

Simple Guide To Pilot Satisfaction!!!

Sure there is. It is simple... Bend them over, shove it in hard from behind (preferably without any "help"), and watch them take it. They may gripe and complain about it, but they must like it since they never stand up for themselves. Then, if they begin to get a little loud, throw them a bone to fight amongst themselves over. They'll never see the next one coming...

Again, they (pilots) must be satisfied with this technique since they never seem to do anything about the constant shaftings....

 

[JettBoii]

See I'm a little different. First I walk on the aircraft and ignore the FA's completely while I stow my stuff.

Then in an after thought just as the passengers are coming down I give them a quick briefing... I make sure to screw up there names and on occasion just use the classic "where did what's her tits go?"

Then just before I retreat to the front for the rest of the flight I go to the most forward lav. and take a massive growler. I don't flush and just leave it there to marinade during boarding.

Stay thirsty my friends.

Funny.

 

[Amish RakeFight]

Sure there is. It is simple... Bend them over, shove it in hard from behind (preferably without any "help"), and watch them take it. They may gripe and complain about it, but they must like it since they never stand up for themselves. Then, if they begin to get a little loud, throw them a bone to fight amongst themselves over. They'll never see the next one coming...

Again, they (pilots) must be satisfied with this technique since they never seem to do anything about the constant shaftings....

There's chucks of truth in humor. Well said!

 

[Captain Jeff]

Why would I care if the flight attendants are satisfied or not? I dont care about them at all. We both work for the same ********************tty company. It is up to the company to take care of all of us. The company doesnt. But it up to the company, not me to satisfy the flight attandants.

 

[SFR]

Make sure to rub the klit from the reverse end

 

[airplane wizard]

FA kitty = hazmat. Think about how many ball bearing FA's go both ways. Disgusting.

Worse than a stripper's?