Another Wag on NWA Flt 188
Jon Carroll - SF Chron
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Well, this is mysterious. It seems that a Northwest Airlines flight bound from San Diego to Minneapolis overshot its mark by about 150 miles, then had to turn around, come back and land, more than an hour behind schedule.
Now, I know Minneapolis is not Mexico City, but surely something must have been visible even at 37,000 feet. And besides, as I understand it, airplanes are now equipped with instruments that tell the pilots where they are on the globe (your car may have a similar device), so the confusion is, well, confusing.
Maybe they had the woman's voice switched off. You know, the one that says "Turn left in two blocks" or, my favorite, "You have reached your destination." It's hard to imagine that the woman was being annoying, as she sometimes is, because she can't have been saying much. "You're still flying toward Minneapolis. Good going!" That would be unprofessional.
But the story gets more bizarre. The pilots did not respond to radio calls from various ground control functionaries saying, "Uh, guys, you might want to start descending to Minneapolis because it's, like, right under you."
And you have to wonder about the passengers. They knew they were supposed to get in at 8:01; they might have become suspicious at 8:05 when the plane had not started descending and they were still free to move about the cabin and it was entirely OK for them to have their seat backs in the full downright position.
I envision at least one person asking a flight attendant what was going on, and the flight attendant (who might also have been aware of the time, because she probably wanted to have a real meal just like everyone else on the plane) saying, "Let me just ask the captain" and going up to the front. And what would she have found?
Well, according to sources, the pilots told the FBI that "they were in a heated discussion over airline policy and they lost situational awareness." Now, that's never a phrase you want to hear in an official airplane report - the pilots "lost situational awareness." I mean, I don't care how heated your discussion is, if the flight controllers are squawking at you and the little clock is saying 8:20 and you haven't even begun to take the plane down, that's gotta be one hell of an argument.
"OK, Ted, you want to take it outside? Let's take it outside. Put this damn thing down anywhere and we'll pop the emergency chute and we'll see who has a better understanding of corporate governance."
One online friend suggested: "Perhaps they were in a serious argument about their likelihood of being laid off, having their salaries cut by 75%, being shifted to the airline's nonunion, cut-rate regional affiliate, or losing their health insurance or pension plan."
It is true that being a pilot is not quite as glamorous as it used to be, but that's true of being a doctor too. Heck, I remember when television shows featured newspaper columnists as heroes. Still, one would hope that the pilots would be able to control their resentments while they were on the job, just as I do, except in the previous sentence.
In a way, I suppose it's comforting to know that the plane can just fly itself off into the vasty wastelands of the North Woods while the pilots debated FCC regulations in re: cockpit safety. Although, personally, I think there was a woman involved, or a man, an object of affection who had claim to the hearts of both pilots, because only physical passion can make a person forget that he or she is carrying 144 passengers on a big airplane.
Another suggestion has been made: In February 2007, a plane overshot the Hilo airport in Hawaii by 30 miles, and both pilots eventually acknowledged that they had fallen asleep. Ah, that island languor; so intoxicating. So maybe the pilots, rather than being deep in a complex argument about airline regulations, were in a deep snooze, dreaming of good times to come in St. Paul.
In which case, I think, even better news. A plane can fly itself safely and comfortably for 150 miles (beating the old record by 120 miles) while both pilots are in the arms of Morpheus. Didn't the flight attendants suspect something? Where was that deadheading air marshal who's supposed to be guarding our welfare? Maybe terrorists just have to wait for the pilots to doze off before initiating their evil plans. OK, that last part is not such good news.
I think maybe cabins need another automatic voice device that just screams "Wake up!" at random intervals. What could it hurt?
Uh, tower, we have a situation here.
I think I see Nome, Alaska, off to my left. Can you check my position?
