Please Help- problem with morning shows!

[Salukipilot4590]

I dont have the morning show issue but here is something you all should NEVER do before going to bed on a long overnight (More than 24 hours).

Don't drink a full gallon of orange juice...the acids will make you puke...

 

[WalterSobchak]

I just unleashed a glorious one in the johns by gate 75 in LAX...but the dude in the stall down the row seemed to be having some serious issues. Sounded like he was giving birth.

 

[relief tube]

wow....5 minutes from your life that you can never get back.

 

[onionluvr]

All I can say is, I love this thread! Is that wrong?

 

[LowlyPropCapt]

All I can say is, I love this thread! Is that wrong?

No... There are few things funnier than poop.

 

[PBRstreetgang]

Common guys, neeed....more.....grunion....stories!
This sukker ain't gonna die that quick!
PBR

 

[XPOO]

Again...I always looked up to you to have the best chit stories. I always thought that was your forte.

 

[PBRstreetgang]

Again...I always looked up to you to have the best chit stories. I always thought that was your forte.

It is true I am expert in all things relating to chit. It is more than a hobby, it's a lifestyle!
PBR

 

[CFIcare]

To the dooshe-nozzle who let slip the dogs of war on SWA flight 1915 from STL-TPA today....all of us in the back hate u. I hope you apologized to the lav, the airplane, the poor FA who was trapped back there, and that poor little kid who got hit with the blast wave when you opened the lav door. East terminal "Chili's To-Go" indeed...

 

[CFI2766]

Okay, not an early morning show, but I did close down the rampers facilities in CHA last month.

On the way up to KCHA, I'm inhaling a jar of wild garden hummus as per the contents of the blue box cruel meal. It's my favorite part of that particular meal. The captain, knowing this, gave me his jar of the flavorful bean dip.

Turns out that my GI tract can only handle one jar at a time.

I discovered this concurrently with the realization that i was waaayy too high to make the glide slope into 20. Fully dirty, the plane just couldn't get down.

Me: "Max Power, Flaps 15"

Captain: "Positive rate..."

Me: "Gear up, Heading, Low bank....ohhhh chit..."

I flew the downwind at ~ 200 KIAS, slowed, configured, made a beautiful overhead pattern, greased it on the numbers, and was sprinting from the office to the porcelain less than 5 minutes later....

 

[PBRstreetgang]

Well,
I was coming back to SFO after doing a Canada turn in the 700. I was eating those nasty UAL emergency snack mixes. Seems my system will not allow more than 2-3 bags in my gut at a time, we were in the inital descent into SFO and the tater gave me a courtesy rumble, and I realized that now way would I make the airport. Called the F/A and went aft to the stainless mug of poo catcher. Made it in and the race to get seated was almost lost, the MSG powered snack mix wrecked the mug, with moderate backsplash on the bottom of the seat(and my can/tater), the smell was similar to burning tires and rotting road kill, I felt bad! After cleaning as much as I could, and sterilizing my tater(handi wipes rule), I left the scene ot the crime. The walk back up was brisk, since we were decending. The smell stopped after I got 4-5 rows forward. I didn't even look at the pax on the way forward, it's my airplane, and if I wanna wreck the chitter, I can! Never, repeat never, eat the UAL emergency snacks!
PBR

 

[V1cutsrfun]

By the time you reach retirement...(65) $hitting at predictable regularity will be a Godsend.....
just be glad your not crapping in a sack in trembling hills retirement home

 

[mtsupilot376]

I haven't laughed this hard in weeks. So who's the ASA crew that was talking about fecal contamination on ops last week when the storms hit? Deets...

I totally remember hearing that over ops that day.

 

[dispatchguy]

I now work at an OCC for a major carrier in the south. One night a couple of weeks back, I stopped by Wendy's on my way in for their Baconator - should be called their Turdinator..

I inhale said Turdinator, and my Frosty while signing into my workstation, and all of a sudden, I get one of those warning farts out of nowhere.

Now, in said OCC, the little dispatchers room is clear on the other side of the OCC from where I work.

A few more warning shots - thank God farts arent visible. I get up, and with the lessened external tater pressure due to standing up, it feels like instant prairie dog. I clench with all my might, and try to make it nonchalantly over to the little dispatchers room. Head thru the breakroom crop dusting on the way and finally make it to the room where my innards let out this horrendous sound that echoed off the tile walls - I would swear that had this been a quiet midnight shift - they couldve heard me in maintenance control!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7l6jg4Hlog