Pet Peeves While Airlining

[CA1900]

The all time best was one crazy business man running to the gate, only to find the boarding door was closed. He decided to try and pull it open...only to have the gate agent open the door after pulling the bridge off the aircraft. So picture this suit, stressed to the max, with his foot on the wall, pulling on the door with all his might. And when the lock released, he fell flat on his a$$. WHAT THE HECK?!

"That's funny, I don't care who you are!"

 

[FracCapt]

- Sitting in the center seat, and you suddenly HAVE to scratch them ballz (especially awkward when sitting between two females; you figure guys kinda understand).

Do you really THINK about it? Hell, I just do it....it's a natural reflex. Women understand. Ever seen one start digging at the bottom of their t!ts? They're not hunting for spare change....if it itches, scratch it! Of course....my girlfriend says I'm a pig....but she seems to get a laugh out of it everytime I scratch myself or adjust in public...

 

[leardawg]

Do you really THINK about it? Hell, I just do it....it's a natural reflex. Women understand. Ever seen one start digging at the bottom of their t!ts? They're not hunting for spare change....if it itches, scratch it! Of course....my girlfriend says I'm a pig....but she seems to get a laugh out of it everytime I scratch myself or adjust in public...

When you gotta scratch, you gotta scratch, awkward situation non-withstanding.

- Row jumpers, who buck accepted de-boarding etiquette and move down the aisle without letting the rows in front of them out first (somewhat understandable if trying to make a tight connection, but how do they know those ahead of them aren't in the same predicament?).

- The passenger who decides to go to the lav just as the flight attendants start wheeling the cart down the aisle (forcing them to wheel it back 20 rows to let them back in).

- The Disney-like security line at DEN (all that's missing is It's A Small World After All being piped in over the speakers).

- Any passenger who looks like Mohammed Atta's cousin Faisal (Does he look nervous? One suspicious move and that Motha F***a's goin' down!)

- Standing there in uniform, with arms outstretched, and being wanded as Faisal walks right on through!

 

[leardawg]

When you catch the eye of some hot chick, strike up a conversation, decide to "Do it" off the jet way, get caught, turns out she's only 16, she claims you forced yourself on her, you go to jail, get fired, become the subject of ridicule and scorn by your peers, have the charges dropped because the girl just isn't credible, and wind up spending the rest of your career flying cases of fake plastic dog-doo in a beat up old Beech-18 at 2 a.m. I HATE when that happens. ..... Oh, wait a minute; that was someone else. Never mind!

 

[XTW]

Lavs

When someone goes into one of those nasty lavs either:

A. In stocking feet

or worse

B. Barefoot


Talk about disgusting!uke:



X

 

[DetoXJ]

Company makes reservation for a one-way trip 2 hours before departure (have to wait till the last minute because plans might change).

Can't get a boarding pass at the kiosk because the ticket wasn't paid for by the travel drone who made the reservation, and no opportunity half the time to get online or on 800 number to do the deal.

Almost guaranteed to get "SSSS" on the boarding pass in spite of the IBAC crew badge and uniform. Ticket agent swears he/she doesn't have authority to exempt IBAC badge. TSA folks swear it's the ticket agents who do the exempting.

Oh yeah..all the above too.

Don't show them the boarding pass. TSA doesn't need to know you have a boarding pass with SSSSS on it. Just flash the badge and walk through. I never show TSA my boarding pass when I'm deadheading or non revving.

 

[C425Driver]

I just LOVE the people who don't make a peep in the boarding area but as soon as they take their seat in the airplane they get on their cell phone and talk as loud as they can so all the people three gates away can hear them. "Hi honey, I'm on the runway....."

I had an aisle seat on a flight to Cincinnati a few years ago. As we were pulling into the gate, I heard all the seatbelts coming undone while we were still moving (I think this gets you off the airplane faster if you do this). All of a sudden the Captain slammed on the brakes and some guy went flying by me in the aisle. He was already getting his stuff out of the overhead before we came to a stop. As he was picking himself up off the floor, he was grumbling about suing the airline or something stupid like that. The nice lady (plain clothes non-rev it turned out) sitting in front of me looked at him and said, "The seat belt sign is still on for a reason and it applies to you". We all got a good laugh at his expense.

 

[PacoPollo]

Ah what's the point of gratifying this guy?

Hmmm M they really look good! No really!!

 

[acaTerry]

Hmmm M they really look good! No really!!

Have you EVER anything to say that's worth taking the time to read?

 

[leardawg]

And used to this crap.

Traveling is a huge "freak out" for the "average Joe", I would expect you to be sympathetic.

(The well-endowed, T-shirt wearing Angelina Jolie look-alike seated next to you who makes it IMPOSSIBLE to review your aircraft limitations and procedures while travelling on day 1! :crying: )

@$&* the limits!!! May I suggest "Hey baby, I'm a pilot"! (please check ID, reference Flt Options)

And what about the nice gentleman that couldn't get his "shoe bomb" lit, (and me without a lighter (TSA took it))

We ferried 2 Army Ultras to maintenance today and American called us to board. The lady at the gate said we made it with about 30 seconds to spare! Then we got on and sat for 15 minutes before we pushed (I timed it).

(we ran to get food because the last American flight was 30 minutes late).

It is just humorous as you all have pointed out...

Ah the gene pool...

Are you and Miss Kitty Kat related?