Pet Peeves While Airlining

[Grizz]

* When on day 8, and connecting through dulles with a tight connection, after just coming from SEATTLE IN A MIDDLE SEAT, you miss your connection to your domicile because that ugly people mover thing broke down! (really happened!)

Sounds like an after midnight and two extended days pay to me. $1500 and a comp day.

Oops. You guys don't have a union yet. Sorry.

 

[Grizz]

Learflyer-

Before you tee off on me - I know you want a union -- yesterday. I was merely pointing out to the lurkers how it sucks to be in your shoes without one right now.

 

[lowtimedriver]

Everytime I sit down after boarding and there is an open seat next to me I fantasize that a hottie will sit down next to me. I am immediately brought back to reality when some really big fat dude sits down next to me.

 

[Diesel]

Funny thread about time we have some humor here.

When you're sitting in first class and the FA is going around taking food orders. She gets to you and says, "I'll have to come back and get yours later." Then when you try to explain to her you're on a F class ticket she doesn't believe you and asks to see the stub. Then asks if you bought a discounted F class ticket.

When you're sitting there in first and the captain gets up and eyes you while he's about to go to the bathroom. As you get off the jet bridge said captain then proceeds to follow you up and lectures you about the etiquette of jump seating.

When you're in first, (I get upgraded a lot) and there is a dead heading crew on the airplane and they are sitting in coach. I enjoy the comments as they walk by about how they should be in first. Really, I'm sure you're company paid a grand about 2hrs before this flight to make sure you got to the plane.

The touch screens on Song where people thing you need to put your fist through to change the channel. So the whole flight my whole chair is moving because this guy has ADD and can't settle on a channel. Plus there is a volume and channel control on an armrest.

When you're the very last to board because security sucked and the person sitting in your row thinks they had the whole row to themselves. Then proceeds to argue with you about how they want to take a nap and can't you sit somewhere else. The phrase you're not even paying for this flight, I know how this works." came out of this woman.

Southwest, anywhere southwest flies, and any terminal southwest flies to. I've never been to Calcutta but that has to be pretty close.

 

[BombJet45]

Needs to be a warning

I starting reading this thread at 10pm and about woke up the whole family laughing. Too dang funny.

 

[da90drivr]

If you don't want to be treated badly because you look like a pilot why don't you just change your shirt before boarding? Not only will you get your first class meal but you can enjoy a glass of wine with your reheated chicken.

 

[tailhookah]

Lighten up francis....

Pet Peeves While Airlining
I figured I'd put this in the Fractional section because Frax types airline to and from work more than the average GA pilot, and I spent 3 years as one doing the Day 1/Go-home day thing with FLOPS.

My pet peeves while flying the airlines:

- The fat slob next to you who takes up 1 1/2 seats (I once spent an entire 3-hour flight leaning out in the aisle).

- Someone (usually named Habib) with rank B.O. sitting near you.

- The guy or gal that holds up the line during boarding in order to go through a routine before sitting in their seat (put bag in overhead, put briefcase in overhead, remove coat, fold coat, put coat neatly in overhead, tuck in shirt,
forget something in briefcase, open it, remove item, shut briefcase, check pockets for something, do the silent pointing "I'm in that seat" to other passenger already seated). JUST SIT THE F DOWN ALREADY!!!

-The passenger who insists on bring a steamer trunk on board as carry-on baggage, then can't get it into the overhead.

- The passenger that assumes because you are in uniform, you represent the airline, and are all-knowing about everything going on with that flight and the airport, or are a worthy target of passengers' frustration and wrath (I only wore my uniform if I knew I was going straight to a flight in my airplane).

- The passenger that seems surprised and put-out by TSA security measures that have been in place for a few years now, and holds up the line by arguing with them.

-Passengers that are standing in the aisle during boarding after you've taken your seat, and fart in your face point blank range (and there's nowhere to escape it!). I had that happen once (guy had bad B.O. too; he was standing next to my head for several minutes while someone else did the sit-down routine).

- Unruly, screaming kids.

- When you move to a better seat because you think everyone is on board, only to have Just Made It Joe arrive on board, out of breath, and make a beeline right for your new seat.

- When you're trying to make a tight connection, and your arrival gate is invariably at the farthest geometric point on the airport from your next gate.

- When you're trying to make that connection, and get stuck in the jetway behind Ma and Pa Kettle with no room to get around them.

-HAVING to take a crap in an airport restroom, especially after Habib is done using the stall!

-Using the handicapped stall to change out of your uniform, just as Ironsides or Guy Caballero shows up needing to go (and gives you a dirty look as you leave the stall 10 minutes later).

-Standing in the boarding line when they've called your Boarding Zone 1, and noticing the guy in front of you has one that says Boarding Zone 6 (there's a system, dude, and the plane ain't gonna leave without ya!). He proceeds to do the afore-mentioned Seating Routine.

I'm sure I'll think of more.

Go get another job where you don't have to airline then...

 

[AA717driver]

This thread is a hoot! People who are sensitive about airlines shouldn't read it.

I spent 15 years at an airline and a couple since then airlining around and I still can't figure out WHY THE %#@K THE RAMPERS CAN'T READ THE SCREEN AND KNOW THE PLANE HAS LANDED AND IS ON ITS WAY TO THE GATE!!!

I realize they aren't geniuses but it doesn't take one. SWA has its problems but that isn't one of them.TC

 

[ProFracPilot]

Then there's the non-Islamic middle eastern person who thinks he know's how to game the whole system. He's one of the last to board, got 5 carryons(somehow) through security and has to stow them about 15 rows behind him. He's up and gathering said carryons as we're just turning to enter the gate (no announcement from the FA's), but finds himself 5 rows aft when the seat belt sign goes out. Not one to let opportunity pass, I'm IMMEDIATELY in the aisle, determined to block this pr!ck. He's now rapidly spouting "excuseme excuseme - sir - please - excuseme". I just force my ample a$$ further across the aisle to assure he's not leaving before EVERYONE ahead of him, including me, has deplaned. He then has the gaul (no surprise here) to ask me "Why are you impeding my progress?". I told him that he was, quite frankly, the rudest a$$hole I'd yet to encounter in my many years of flying. The line continues behind me.

It got me a standing "O".

 

[HalinTexas]

I'm not a frax pilot, but I can sympathize. I commute. I'll add: All of the above, and coach seats. Period. I'm 6'4" and 240 lbs. No, it's not all fat! Just my ass.