Agreed... the cylce needs to stop...however, it is easier said than done..... isn't that obvious?
A recent book by Sachs, with a forward by Bono of U2, titled The End of Poverty... clearly shows that insisiting that others simply rise up and make the choices we have such as your 1-4 are much easier said than done. (the book is about world poverty, not "poverty" in the US).
How do you expect a 13 year old to make good judgement choices when his entire world is pushing him/her to go in the opposite direction. To simply say... "the child just should" when the resources, skills, leadership, culture and motivation is not there is niave...
To turn our back on people until they make choices 1-4 and not help until they do is irresponsible and weak.
So what is wrong with helping someone obtain the goals of 1-4. What's wrong with mentoring, leading, guiding, helping...etc....
That takes real courage, leadership and strength. That is true power...