Ole Gardner checking up on Flight Options

[B19 Flyer]

Prove it. Keep in mind that I was a U.S. History major in college.

I did a search for "Airline, bankrupcty, union" and came up with more than I could compile.

There was a single theme in all of them, the inability to come to an agreement with organized labor in time to stop the bankruptcy.

 

[fischman]

I did a search for "Airline, bankrupcty, union" and came up with more than I could compile.

There was a single theme in all of them, the inability to come to an agreement with organized labor in time to stop the bankruptcy.

#1) That doesn't prove it.

#2) The recurring theme I see is airline management being unable to do their jobs, and blame the union for their shortcomings.

 

[netjetwife]

Like minds think alike....
My immediate thoughts were: 1) Inability was probably closer to an unwillingness to negotiate a fair settlement. It's hard to get pilots to take less when management is so very handsomely compensated.

2) If they were teetering on the brink during negotiations that means that management had led them to that point long before the breakdown.

 

[SilverSurfer]

Opportunity

Some people more than adequately demonstrate their ignorance the minute they open their mouths, pick up a pencil and write or tap on a computer's keys. I recommend that the folks in this forum totally ignore this B-19/Bob guy. No amount of discourse with him will change his warped and vapid mind. It seems he gets his rocks off antagonizing you all and some of you are taking the bate. Ignore him and he will eventually go away and return to playing with himself in a dark room.

My brother from another mother, you are right that we will not change Bob/B19's inbred thinking. But he does give us the opportunity to highlight just how warped and one sided his limited management mentality really is. You are also correct that he obviously derives some twisted satisfaction from having so many call him on his dribble. So, load all tubes and bring all guns to bare, use him and his pro management anti union horse sh!t to educate all and keep our fight current on page one of this board.

 

[netjetwife]

I'm in complete agreement with you, SS.

 

[SilverSurfer]

Latest from the Gardner

Latest from the Gardner


Hello everybody. It's me again, the Ol' Gardner here. The other day
us locals all gots together down at the Co-Op after the crops be put up
for the season. All the women folk done served us a fun luvin' potluck
dinner. Yumeeee!. 'Course, I be takin' along a gallon or two'a
homebrew from the still out back for all to enjoy. What a potent batch'a
this be! I was sure glad to see the pilot what flies for your
outfit sittin' round the pot bellied stove chattin' away with the
townfolk. He be home for a change. I poured him a Mason jar full'a homebrew
and it turns out he can belt 'em back with the best'a us! I would, too,
if'n I be workin' as hard and away from home as much as he.
After a few snorts, he gets pretty loose lipped 'bout this here outfit
y'all works for. He says the bosses again complainin' 'bout some
W.O.E. and C.R.E.E.P. stickers. I already knowed what W.O.E. means and he
says the other stands for Crews Responding to Excessive Economic
Pressure. That sticker gots a picture of some kind'a worm what be inchin'
along nice'n slow. I doesn't exactly know what this economic pressure be,
but I knows if'n I be uncertain' 'bout my future and treated mean by
my bosses, I not be in too 'thusiastic 'bout movin' none too fast,
neither. The pilot says the bosses be mighty unhappy 'bout these stickers
showin' up all over the place and claimin' y ourUnion be behind 'em.
Seems like there be some stickers promotin' your Union's website, too.
Now, I ain't been knowin' how to use this new-fangled computer machine
I gots none too long. But with a little help from my pilot friend,
even this ol' country boy done learned how to make hisself some stickers
usin' this magic gadget. All y'gots to do is stumble on down to that
there local Wally World and buy some mailin' labels off'n the shelf to
run through the printin' machine wired up to the computer box. It sure
be easy makin' fancy stickers with photos and sayin's and different
company symbols called "logos" to put on 'em if'n y'knows how to "download"
from someplace called the "Internet." I first learnin' 'bout this
here Internet place y'gets to usin' the computer machine and I be writin'
more 'bout it soon.
I made me some stickers to label all my tools I gots stored in the
sheds and barn. I even put some stickers on my jugs'a homebrew to keep
track'a when I made it. Heck, between me'n my neighbors, most'a what's in
'em jugs doesn't last long 'nough to worry 'bout none, but I likes
puttin' stickers on 'em jugs anyways. They looks so dang pretty. I also
made some stickers for my misses to help her arrange the spices and
foodstuffs down in the celler. She be mighty grateful when I helps out
'round the kitchen and I sure does get rewarded with mighty good fixin's
to eat, don't y'know.
There ain't no way I could'a done this sticker makin' in days gone by
if'n all I had was my ol' Underwood typerwirter; that be for sure. Back
then if'n y'wanted fancy stickers, y'had to stop by the print shop in
town to get 'em all made up. Not no more. Wonder why your bosses
can't figure out as much and thinks your Union be behind everythin' they
not likin'. Lots'a folks have computer machines back home and know just
how to use 'em if'n they wants 'emselves fancy stickers.
I been told the bosses be gunnin' for any folks they find puttin' up
stickers and bringin' 'em in on CGF-1 Arrivals. Seems like these sticker
be hard to clean off. I hear tell the bosses really unhappy 'bout
stickers showin' up on postcards from the owners survey bein' mailed
postage paid. I been told the big boss doesn't much like payin' for the
stamps. So if'n I had a hankerin' to be puttin' up stickers where they
doesn't belong or mailin' the bosses postcards, I'd be mindful they be
watchin' real close and be woodsheddin' hard anybody what doin' it and
likely be lettin' go those workers.
The pilot be tellin' us 'bout different kinds'a planes y'all be flyin'.
I always knowed there be lots'a tractors, like Deere and Harvester
and Ford and such, but I didn't know there be so many kinds'a little
jets. He says he flys one made by Beechjet. Now, I once chewed me some
tobacco leaves made by Beech-Nut. All that chewin' and spittin' made my
mouth tired and not smellin' none too good. I hear tell many of these
Beechjet planes not smellin' too good inside, neither. Makes me wonder
if'n those two outfits what be makin' this here tobacco and planes be
one'n the same? Maybe some of the folks ridin' in these little planes
not takin' too good care'a 'em, neither.
The pilot says workers called "maintenance controllers" what supposed
to make sure these flyin' machines get fixed when they broke be askin'
all kinds'a of favors from you pilots. Some'a these controllers been
askin' y'all keep on flyin' planes y'know be broke until y'gets 'em to
places they can be fixed and not writin' 'bout 'em in the 501 page book
till then. Now, I knows it sure be convenient to drive those hot rods
in the sky to special places so's they can be fixed 'afore y'all writes
'bout 'em in the 501 page books, but I been told that's just not the
right and proper thing to do
The Sheriff was sittin' with us at the Co-Op and says what the pilot
talkin' 'bout known as "carryin' write-ups." He says for sure it be
again' the law and pilots gots to write 'bout broke parts in the 501 page
book where and when they found to be broke. He told the pilot in town
to let his fellow aviators know there should be NO MORE FAVORS. Sheriff
says he be real interested in learnin' the names'a pilots what be
breakin' the law by keepin' on flyin' planes until it be easier to get 'em
fixed and not writin' in the 501 page book when they first should.
The pilot goes on to say some'a y'all got hosed a'ways back when the
big bosses up and says where y'all be livin' ain't no longer the right
places. I hear tell some'a y'all now spend many'a hour in your buggies
goin' to'n 'fro the flyin' fields the bosses done assigned. He says
where y'lives and flys be called home bases and domiciles and other fancy
names with "Tier" numbers. I hear tell some pilots can fly out'a some
Tier numbers, but not out'a others. New pilots at your outfit can only
fly out of a mere handful. The only tears I knows 'bout is the kind
comes from your eyes when a body be sad or hurtin'. Guess the bosses be
tryin' to make y'all feel that'a way by messin' with these here Tiers.
It just ain't right for the bosses be telling y'all where y'gots to put
down roots and raise your families. That be none'a their darn
business, 'specially when they knowed y'all be livin' there already. I hear
tell all the pilots what flys for that there NetJets outfit soon have
more'n 100 bases to choose from. Seems if'n bosses at NetJets can do it
for their pilots, your bosses should be wantin' to do it for y'all.
Until they does, those pilots what's been told y'can't live where y'wants
unless y'spends all that time drivin' the countryside to get to work
be rememberin' 'bout it if'n the bosses be askin for any kinda' favors.
Well, sir, I hear the misses callin' me to supper. I dare not be late
sittin' down or I might not get me no seconds. Thanksgivin' be right
'round the corner and I gots lots to do to get myself ready. The still
out back be bubblin' away and I be puttin' up lots'a jugs'a homebrew
for the holidays what needs labelin'. You, too, should be gettin' your
ownselves ready for the holiday season. I'm sure there be lots y'can do
to make the time y'spend away from home as safe as y'can. Just don't
do what y'shouldn't or what y'needn't. Follow all 'em rules the
Sheriff done wrote. Y'all certainly ain't getting' paid 'nough be doin'
anythin' extra, 'specially overtime work. In the meantime, remember, the
Ol' Gardner out workin' the fields at Flight Options. With your help,
and the help'a your fellow aviators, the harvest—it be comin'.
Till next time, your friend,
THE OL' GARDNER

 

[SilverSurfer]

Happy Thanksgivin'.

HAPPY THANKSGIVIN'.
Hey everyone, your friend the Ol' Gardner be writin' to y'all again.
Goodness, gracious, fall be halfway gone and winter just 'round the
bend. There be such good times ahead with the holiday season fast
a'comin'. But there's also much to do 'afore the cold really sets in.
Meanwhile, my family'n me lookin' forward to Thanksgivin' and sittin' down
with friends and neighbors to share in the bounty and good fortune we
country folk lucky 'nough to enjoy 'round these parts.
The pilot what moved in down the road a'piece was plannin' on comin'
over for turkey dinner as my guest. We had some real good down home
cookin' in store for him'n his family. But, last time I seen him he tells
me the bosses done "realigned" his schedule 'cause they up and decided
to change the way they gives out vacations at this here outfit y'all
flys for. Now they wants him workin' over Thanksgivin' and he ain't able
to come by for the delicious country feast we was gonna serve him. He
says he be gone Christmas and New Years, too. He be a mighty unhappy
fella, that's for sure.
As bad as it be for him, his wife and young'ns not likin' it much,
neither. They says he away from home workin' too many days and nites and
gettin' paid way too little for bein' gone so much. Looks to me like
bein' a pilot flyin' these little jets ain't too good for family life.
But the pilot tells me the flyers at that there rival NetJets outfit
down Columbus way have it so much better. They away from home less and
gets much better choices for when they works and when they be home. They
plans quite regular on bein' with their families for holidays and
birthdays and other important times. And their bosses can't monkey 'round
none with their schedules and vacations, neither. Seems like they gots
'emselves a contract with their bosses and y'all still workin' on
gettin' one with yours.
As I says before, I been helpin' flyers out for many a'year at lots'a
airlines and I knows just how important a contract be in changin' a
pilot's life from insecurity to one where he and his family prospers. I
hear tell the NetJets pilots gots 'emselves a new contract a couple'a
years back and they fixin' to vote on changin' it a bit still. Seems like
their bosses agreed on sharin' more'a the harvest with pilots workin'
for that outfit. I been told their new contract pays wages that'll
brings tears to the eyes of y'all. If'n y'can believe it, a NetJets
co-pilot makes as much or more'n a Captain at your outfit. I knows I'm just
a simple country boy, but somethin' seems mighty wrong with that there
picture.
My pilot friend says for one reason or 'nother, lots'a pilots been
leavin' your outfit and findin' better jobs elsewhere. Some goin' to
NetJets, some goin' to the big airlines, some just goin'. I hear tell they
sure seem glad, like they done escaped from jail. My ol' Pappy always
cautioned me again' thinkin' the grass be greener on the other side'a
the fence. But, in y'all's case it just might be as right as rain. So,
y'can either quit your outfit and leave, or stay and join with your
Brothers and Sisters in your Union and fight to make things better. I
always did like a good fight, 'specially when it be with a bully. I
knows we can whip your bully bosses, if'n y'follows my advice real close
and uses common sense.
I been told the bosses wants pilots flyin' "overtime" to help pick up
the slack 'cause so many'a your fellow aviators been leavin'. They
want's overtime, but ain't gonna pay premium wages for y'doin' it. I hear
tell some pilots gots no choice 'cause the bosses forced overtime on
'em this month but ain't payin' 'em for it till 'round Thanksgivin' time
next year, if'n at all. The bosses calls this workin' over the "seam"
that the vacation "realignment" done caused. What in tarnation is this
here "seam" but the bosses' way'a doin' another "seamy" thing to
y'all? Forced overtime with no extra pay makes a body sickly just thinkin'
'bout how wrong that be, 'specially durin' cold'n flu season. No, sir,
if'n it be me they askin for help, I'd've withdrawn my 'thusiasm for
doin' extra chores long ago and I'd for sure not be flyin' no overtime
at all. I knows y'all smart 'nough to figure out how to avoid doin' it.
Y'know, if'n I wasn't so well bred, I'd be spoutin' lots'a four-letter
words at the bosses 'bout the mean ways they be treatin' y'all. But, I
ain't gonna jump into their dung heap with 'em and I doesn't want to
see y'doin' it none, neither. Besides, I been told the bosses doesn't
like it much when they hear such kind'a loud complainin', even if'n it
be truly understandable. They gots it in their heads that pilots and
other folks what works for your outfit should take abuse without yellin'
too much 'bout it. The bosses says it be again' what they calls their
"five non-negotiables" to speak your mind freely and they be callin'
pilots in on "CGF-1 Arrivals" if'n they think ya be doin' it.
When I was up north at the Cuyahoga County spread, I seen posters
nailed on the walls talkin' bout these here five rules and other stuff the
bosses be wantin' workin' folks mindful 'bout. Some posters loaded with
fancy words callin' workers "team members." If'n I hadn't seen it
with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears just how bad it be workin'
for your outfit, 'specially if'n ya be a pilot, I might'a believed what
these posters be sayin'. But after spendin' time 'round that big
office, such foolishness begun ticklin' my funny bone, 'specially the
"team" thing. I can't stop chucklin' at the bosses thinkin' anyone with a
lick'a sense what's been 'round this place for more'n a few months would
fall for such a pile'a manure. It sure didn't take this country boy
long to figure it out. From what I seen, the average workin' folks at
your outfit gots to follow these five rules, but the bosses doesn't have
to follow 'em their ownselves. They just does what they please with
no more nevermind. I done figured out they have their own rules and
their own team and y'all ain't on it. Not by a country mile, y'aint!
Anyways, seems like your outfit doesn't have nearly 'nough pilots
stayin' on to fly all the rich folks what wants to go flittin' round the
country over the holidays and winter season. I been told these folks
headin' to expensive places with their families to sit on some exotic beach
or slide down some snow covered hill on skiis or some other such
pleasure. Now, me, I doesn't like the cold much. If'n I had my druthers, I
be sittin' on that there beach sippin' homebrew from a Mason jar.
Besides, I once tied a couple'a barrel staves to my feet when I was a
young'n and tried slidin' down a hill out back after a snowstorm. I didn't
like fallin' down too much back then and for sure I wouldn't like it
one bit more now that I be older. My brittle ol' bones just ain't as
strong as they once was, don't y'know.
Like I says before, I knows your harvest time is fast a'comin'. But
not without y'all jumpin' in harness and pullin' the plow together.
Y'can't be pullin' the plow if'n y'ain't part'a the Union and payin' your
dues. Y'ain't helpin' no one but your ungrateful bosses if'n ya be out
flyin' overtime, 'specially when y'doesn't have to. And y'can't be
with your family if'n ya be flyin' rich folks 'round the country to be
with theirs. I hear tell y'even fly some'a your bosses and their families
'round 'bout. Guess they be rich too. If'n so, they be gettin' rich
off'n your backs'n your labors'n your sweat'n your hard work. Truth be
told, the bosses doesn't produce a single thing can be sold to no one.
They be like slimy leeches in my pond, suckin' life's blood out'a
others they attach 'emselves to. It be y'all whats gots the pilots'
licenses and knowledge and skills what brings the final product into the
market. And y'does it for your bosses without proper respect, value and
compensation. That's gots to change!
I think it be way past time y'all be askin' what each and every one'a
y'can do to help make that change. Y'already knows some'a the things to
do. But, there be more. Last time I write I talked 'bout lists the
bosses gives y'all to check out your flyin' machines and make sure they
ain't broke. I been workin' up some lists'a my own and things y'can do
to help better bring in the harvest. They be simple and easy to
follow and I be sharin' 'em with y'all real soon. Until the list be
finished, just remember these few easy tips: Do your job, but no one else's;
follow all the rules; don't fly broke planes and be sure to write 'bout
'em in the 501 page books when and where they be found broke; don't fly
sickly; don't fly tired; don't fly hungry; and for sure, don't fly
overtime. If'n y'follow this short list and doesn't waiver none, not only
will it help y'all stay healthy'n safe, but you'll be pleased how fast
the harvest'll come in.
Come Thanksgivin' day, be thankful to be alive and livin' in the good
'ol U.S. of A. Be extra thankful for our brave troops what be fightin'
and sacrificin' in foreign lands to protect our way of life here at
home. Be thankful for your Union and all the good things it be doin' to
help protect y'all and gets ya a good contract like your NetJets
Brothers and Sisters done gots. Be thankful for your fellow pilots what be
standin' tall as officers and committee folks in your Union. Be thankful
in knowin' that with your help'n support'n fightin' spirit'n
sacrifices, you, too, will have a proper contract some day soon. Remember
to
spread the word the Ol' Gardner out workin' the fields at Flight Options.
I be thankful just to be helpin' y'all out. The harvest—it be
comin'.
Happy Thanksgivin' from your friend,
THE OL' GARDNER

ARE YOU A HAPPY PILOT?
HAPPY PILOTS MAKE THE SYSTEM WORK BY BENDING THE RULES,
and
PILOTS CAN LET THE SYSTEM FAIL BY FOLLOWING THE RULES.
NO HEROES NEEDED, JUST DO YOUR JOB.
Y'ALL BE VERY CAREFUL OUT THERE!

 

[SilverSurfer]

Ole Gardner

Latest form the Ole Gardner

_____________________________________________

Part I

SNOW BE FALLIN'
Hi y'all. It be me, your friend, the ol' Gardner. I fear I ate a bit
too much at the Thanksgivin' feast we done hosted. All that turkey 'n
stuffin 'n fixin's the misses put on the table—what's a body to do when
such good food set 'afore him 'cept eat his fill? She says I also
might'a drank too much homebrew washin' all those tasty morsels down my
gullet. Hopes those'a y'all was home with your families had as much fun
as we did 'round these parts.
I knows lots'a y'all were on the road over Thanksgivin' 'n your bosses
keepin' a bunch'a y'away from your loved ones over Christmas 'n New
Years, too. That happenin' to my pilot friend lives nearby. I hear tell
it ain't 'cause the bosses needs ya to go flyin', but 'cause they wants
to punish y'all for gettin' a Union 'n doin' your job the way y'must
accordin' to all the rules. That ain't right, 'specially if'n y'has
little ones at home what needs ya. Well, sir, it seems to me the bosses
ain't yet understandin' such mean treatment be wrong 'n y'all gonna put
a stop to it.
We gots our first taste'a winter 'round these parts just the other day
when snowflakes come driftin' down coverin' up the fields. They sure
looks pretty 'n clean when they be all white. Like I says 'afore, I
doesn't take to cold weather much. I doesn't even try startin' my trusty
tractor no more when the snows come. That cranky ol' machine doesn't
like the cold much, neither. Slippin' 'n slidin' on snow-covered roads
ain't my idea of a good time. No, sir, I'd rather be inside with my
loved ones sittin' next to a blazin' fire sippin' homebrew from a Mason
jar. But, I been told the cold air suits 'em little jet planes y'all
flys just fine.
My pilot friend says there be lots'a rules the Sheriff done wrote 'bout
flyin' when snow 'n ice comes. He says most'a these rules be simple
'nough, but some be extra important. He come by my cabin the other day
to use my magic computer machine to show me where your Union done
posted some'a 'em DYK bulletins on its website talkin' 'bout a few'a these
wintertime rules. Mercy, I findin' out there sure be lots to worry
'bout if'n y'flyin' in snow 'n ice, so this message be long.
I been told y'squirts hot water over your flyin' machines to wash away
the snow 'n ice coverin' em up. My pilot friend calls it "de-icin'" or
"anti-icin'," dependin' if'n the hot water loaded up with special
slime. I squirts hot water on my trusty tractor at the end'a the growin'
season to clean off the mud, but I doesn't use me no slime. I hear tell
this special slime costs lots'a money 'n the better types'a slime cost
more, just like the better kinds'a sippin' whisky does. I sees where
this squirtin' gots to be done more'n once if'n y'waits too long to
take-off, dependin' on the type'a slime y'usin' 'n how hard it be snowin'
'n how cold out it be. Well, sir, if'n it be me drivin' a plane, I'd
sure not hurry none too fast 'round a slick airport just so's I doesn't
need gettin' squirted again. Few winters back, I sped down a snowy
road on my trusty tractor 'n slid off into a ditch. I sure gots myself
in lots'a "hot water" with the misses for bein' in such a dang hurry,
don't y'know.
My pilot friend says some'a your bosses been askin' crews not pay too
much nevermind 'bout the type'a slimy hot water bein' used or how long
since it been squirted. The bosses not likin' it much when it needs
squirted more'n once. That be too bad, if'n y'ask me. These penny
pinchin' bosses sure be brave sittin' on their rear ends in the warm OCC back
at the Cuyahoga County spread, like I seen 'em doin' when I was up
north a few months back. Snow 'n ice coverin' a far away plane or flyin'
field doesn't put 'em in too much danger, don't y'know. But, if'n I
was a pilot what had to go whistlin' down a slick runway when snow 'n ice
be 'round, I'd not be troubled much 'bout the cost'a some slimy hot
water what supposed to keep me from crashin'. But, then, what does I
know? I'm just a simple country boy what drives a tractor.

 

[SilverSurfer]

Ole Gardner

Latest form the Ole Gardner

_____________________________________________

Part II




The pilot says there be bleedin' heaters 'n other gadgets what keeps
ice from messin' up the jet motors 'n wings 'n things once the flyin'
machine gets up in the air. I hear tell some'a these gadgets be broke,
just like other parts on your machines be broke. Seems to me if'n
somethin' bleedin' it ought'a be fixed, for sure. But my pilot friend says
if'n it bleedin' when it supposed to, it be just fine. I guessin'
whatever bleedin' must not be showin' red, 'cause I ain't seen your little
jets all colored up that'a way. But, from what I seen, some'a your
outfit's planes lookin' mighty ragged 'n badly needin' some shiny new paint
to color 'em up some. Anyways, if'n the bosses wanted me flyin' in
snow 'n ice, I'd make sure these bleedin' heaters 'n gadgets 'n all the
lights 'n switches what runs 'em to get rid'a snow 'n ice be workin'
real good 'afore I'd head off into the wild-blue yonder. If'n they broke,
I'd be tellin' the bosses 'n writin' 'bout 'em in the 501 page book
so's they be gettin' fixed.
My pilot friend says if'n one'a 'em jet motors on his flyin' machine
stops runnin' when he takes-off, it might not climb up in the air fast
'nough to clear the hills 'round some airports when the bleedin' heaters
be on meltin' snow 'n ice. Same thing could happen if'n he decides not
to land 'n a jet motor quits while climbin' back up goin' 'round for
'nother try. That'd be a bother, don't y'think? He says he flys
regular to a place called Telluride what sits up in mountains 'n needs be
extra careful 'bout a jet motor quittin' there. He showed me a DYK
bulletin talkin' 'bout how bad it be flyin' out'a this place, 'specially in
one'a 'em little Beech-Nut jets he drives.
The pilot says he also worrys some 'bout stoppin' his plane when it be
slick out. Now, I knows planes have wheel brakes just like my farm
machines gots. But, I hear tell these brakes ain't all that good at
stoppin' when it be slick out 'cause airplane tires ain't nearly as big as
tractor tires. They ain't got big cleats on 'em none, neither. I been
told some planes gots fancy stoppers called "thrust reversers" to help
'em. My pilot friend calls 'em "TRs," for short. I doesn't know for
sure how TRs work, but he says folks flyin' planes whats got 'em wants
'em workin' real good if'n runways be slick. Makes good sense to me.
The Sheriff done told me the more snow 'n ice coverin' up a runway, the
longer it gots to be. Y'don't say! Anyone with a lick'a sense be
figurin' that out by hisself. If'n y'movin' along a slick runway like a
speedin' bullet, y'wants to make sure y'gots 'nough room to stop 'afore
runnin' off the end, don't y'know. I hear tell folks what runs some'a
these airports have special testers what tells pilots how slick runways
be. Other pilots what just landed have a pretty good idea how slick
'n reportin' 'bout it. My pilot friend says which way the wind blowin'
be mighty important, too. He says y'gots to be sure the wind ain't
blowin' too hard from the side or behind or it might just blow your flyin'
machine off a slick runway. Maybe that's why my trusty tractor run
off the road into a ditch a few years back when I was out drivin' in the
snow.
Sheriff says y'gots to know how heavy your little jet be to figure if'n
the runway be long 'nough to take-off or land. If'n the plane be too
heavy, y'gots to leave behind some'a the folks wantin' go flyin', or
y'gots to take less gas along with y'all. How the heck does y'go 'bout
knowin' just how heavy the plane be? Does y'put it up on the bathroom
scale like I seen my misses standin' on all the time? She sure frets
lots bout her weight and complains I gots me too much gas after I fills
up on homebrew. Anyways, I gonna be askin' my pilot friend how he
weighs that there plane.
Sheriff says no matter what, y'always gots to have 'nough gas in the
plane to fly far 'nough to land safely. Again, y'don't say! Even this
ol' country boy knows if'n y'flyin' along and runs out'a gas, y'ain't
gonna be able to pull off'n the side'a the road 'n call AAA to bring by a
can full. Last spring I done run my trusty tractor out'a gas when
plowin' the back 40. I didn't much like trudgin' home to get me a can
full, but I sure was thankful I wasn't drivin' a plane up in the sky with
nowhere to stop 'n a long ways to fall down. That'd be hurtful for
sure.
The pilot says when he gets ready to go flyin' in snow 'n ice, he takes
all the time need be addin' 'n subtractin' numbers makin' sure the
slimy hot water ain't been squirted too long ago 'n the runway be long
enough 'n not too slick 'n the plane not be too heavy 'n there be plenty
gas on board 'n the wind be right. If'n the 'rithmetic doesn't add up
just right, my pilot friend says he doesn't take-off. If'n he already
flyin' along 'n any'a these numbers ain't right, he finds hisself
another airport to go to. Goin' or comin', he also figures out if'n the
machine gonna clear the hills up ahead if'n bleedin' heaters be on 'n one'a
his jet motor done quits. Now, like I says, I ain't got me much
schoolin', and I for sure ain't none too good at 'rithmetic, but I knows
pilots be extra smart at it. If'n I was one'a y'all, I'd for sure be
readin' 'em DYK bulletins your Union done posted 'n studyin' the winter
rules 'n bein' extra mindful'a all this number figurin' 'afore flyin'
'round in snow 'n ice.
Yes, sir, bein' out in the snow 'n ice be troublesome, whether flyin'
planes or runnin' a farm. I mighty worried 'bout flyers workin' outside
in wintertime, 'specially after learnin' how worrysome it be. I bet
your families mighty bothered 'bout y'doin' it, too. I hear tell your
bosses not appreciatin' how good a job y'all doin' stayin' safe when
conditions be so full'a misery. That'd for sure frost my cookies if'n I
was a pilot for your outfit. I'd sure not be bendin' any rules for 'em.
Please be extra careful this winter 'n holiday season 'n take no
chances y'doesn't have to. If'n parts on the machines be broke, or the
runways be too slick or short, or the winds be wrong, or somethin' else be a
bother, like ya be sickly with a cold or flu, or y'takin' certain
medicines, don't be puttin' your ownself at risk. No, sir, be patient 'n
wait for things to be made just right 'afore bein' too 'thusiastic 'bout
helpin' the bosses out'a the mess they be makin'a things. Don't be
doin' other folks' jobs for 'em. For sure y'ain't wantin' to work
overtime if'n y'doesn't have to. Why be gone away someplace in the cold when
y'could be home spendin' precious time with your loved ones?
I knows times be tough right now, but I sees a bright future ahead for
y'all. If'n y'keeps doin' your chores the right, safe 'n legal way,
I'm sure there be bounty in store for you 'n yours come next year. In
the meantime, stay extra safe 'n follow all 'em rules in the books the
bosses done give ya. I hear tell some'a your fellow pilots ain't yet
knowed I come 'round to help. Some'a those that heard 'bout me ain't
followin' my advice 'n some others be callin' my writin's "spam" 'n
ignorin' 'em. That sure be disappointin'. I ate Spam once 'n gots to admit I
doesn't like it much. But the tried 'n true tips I shares with y'all
shouldn't be distasteful to folks what bein' treated as mean as y'are.
So, Brothers 'n Sisters, it be up to y'all what knows 'bout me to help
spread the word 'n share my writin's with pilots what ain't readin' 'n
followin' what I writes. Let 'em know best y'can that the ol' Gardner
workin' the fields at Flight Options 'n he knows what he talkin' 'bout.
Over the years, I done lent a hand to many'a pilot group. They all
sure be grateful. So will y'all if'n y'closely follows my advice.
Workin' together with your friends 'n neighbors, the harvest—it be comin'.
Stay warm 'n safe, your friend,
THE OL' GARDNER

--
ARE YOU A HAPPY PILOT?
HAPPY PILOTS MAKE THE SYSTEM WORK BY BENDING THE RULES,
and
PILOTS CAN LET THE SYSTEM FAIL BY FOLLOWING THE RULES.
NO HEROES NEEDED, JUST DO YOUR JOB.
Y'ALL BE VERY CAREFUL OUT THERE!

 

[SilverSurfer]

The Latest From The Ole Gardner

Page 1


HIGS 'N PIGS.
Hi folks. It be me again, the ol' Gardner writin' to y'all once more.
The pilot what moved in down the road a'piece come by the cabin the
other day all bubblin' over with good news. He showed me a message from
yur big bosses announcin' yur outfit's done been sold. The message
also says yur big bosses placed orders for a bunch'a new flyin'machines
in years to come. He was so dang happy, you'd'a thought ol' Santa
dropped off his presents a few weeks early. Now, I been 'round helpin'
pilots for many'a year 'n I seen lots'a flyin' outfits bought 'n sold 'n
come 'n go. I also seen 'em place orders to get new airplanes that never
gets filled. So, I learned long ago not to count my chickens 'afore
they hatch. I be leery when I hears 'bout such buyin' 'n sellin' 'n
airplane orders.
I sees where a outfit called HIG bought yur outfit from that there
Raytheon Company what used to own it. I knows somethin' 'bout Raytheon.
It be a big deefense contractor. From what I read in the newpapers from
time to time, bein' one'a these deefense contractors comes 'bout as
close as can be to stealin' without worrin' much 'bout goin' to jail for
it. They sellin' some stuff to the government folks over yonder in
Washington for a lot more money than I can buy the same things at the
general store in town. Did y'ever see how much they chargin' for toilet
paper 'n such? Makes y'almost want to go back to tearin' pages from the
'ol Sears & Roebuck catalogue when y'heads off to the outhouse to do
yur business, don't y'know.
This here Raytheon be another deefense contractor where the bosses
gettin' rich fleecin' us poor tax payers out'a our hard earned cash with
lots'a help from 'em politicians what always got their hands out so's
their palms get greased. I been told the bosses at Raytheon wasn't too
keen on havin' yur big bosses share much money with pilots. They been
lookin' the other way while yur big bosses been takin' money away from
y'all by makin' y'pay more 'n more for yur family's health insurance. I
hear tell they didn't give y'all 'em raises they promised when they was
hopin' y'wouldn't vote in yur Union, 'n they made a bunch'a y'work
overtime this November without payin' y'for that, too.
I 'splained to my pilot friend he shouldn't be so sure things gonna get
better now that this here HIG be in charge. He says he doesn't know
what HIG stands for. Neither does I, but HIG sounds like "pig" 'n I
gots a few'a 'em dirty, smelly critters round my place. Pigs ain't
wantin' to share their foodstuffs with others much, neither. So, my pilot
friend cranked up my magic computer machine 'n we looked up this HIG
outfit on that there Internet place. We finds out HIG already owns two
other flyin' outfits. One goes by the name Amerijet 'n the other call
itself Gemini. We read what some flyers used to worked for these two
outfits had to say 'bout 'em. Mercy, we sure gots us a much different
picture 'bout 'em than their fine soundin' names let on, that be for sure.
The flyers writin' 'em messages sayin' these two outfits be scrapin'
the bottom'a the barrel by way they treatin' pilots. Some called 'em two
outfits "scumbags." Now, that kind'a language be a bit strong, so we
kept on readin' to see just why they felt that'a way. These flyers
sayin' the bosses runnin' these two outfits be even more unfriendly to
pilots 'n their unions than yur outfit's bosses be treatin' y'all. I hear
tell the HIG bosses not plannin' on dumpin' the big bosses who been so
badly runnin' yur outfit, so nothin' much likely to change for the
better unless y'all get the HIG bosses unnerstandin' y'ain't much
interested in continuin' bein' treated mean 'n unappreciated. Y'gots to send
'em that message loud 'n clear in the way that only pilots out workin'
can do.
I read where flyers at these two outfits owned by HIG done give up on
makin' things better for 'emselves. They be afraid to do their job the
way the Sheriff says they must 'cause their mean bosses be woodsheddin'
some 'n firin' others if'n they complainin' things be wrong or unsafe.
They fear for their jobs 'n not supportin' their union 'n runnin'
mighty scared. They look 'n act like mangy, whipped dogs. So, their
unions lackin' the muscle to beat the bosses at their own game.
Now, I knows there be some of y'all shakin' in yur boots anytime the
bosses be troublin' at'ya. I been told yur bosses been woodsheddin'
some'a y'all 'n even fired a small handful'a strong Union supporters for
reasons I hear tell ain't just. Such dirty tricks be 'spected, specially
when 'em nasty varmints from Ford & Harrison be 'round. Y'flyers be
fightin' a war over who rules the roost at yur outfit 'n yur big bosses
gonna try to stampede y'all away from the comin' harvest like a bunch'a
panicky cattle. They gonna try plantin' fear in yur hearts by pickin'
a small few'a y'off one by one as casualties of war. Y'just can't let
'em scare y'into not doin' what y'gots to do to win.

 

[SilverSurfer]

Latest form the Ole Gardner

Page 2

HIGS 'N PIGS.
Hi folks. It be me again, the ol' Gardner writin' to y'all once more.
The pilot what moved in down the road a'piece come by the cabin the
other day all bubblin' over with good news. He showed me a message from
yur big bosses announcin' yur outfit's done been sold. The message
also says yur big bosses placed orders for a bunch'a new flyin'machines
in years to come. He was so dang happy, you'd'a thought ol' Santa
dropped off his presents a few weeks early. Now, I been 'round helpin'
pilots for many'a year 'n I seen lots'a flyin' outfits bought 'n sold 'n
come 'n go. I also seen 'em place orders to get new airplanes that never
gets filled. So, I learned long ago not to count my chickens 'afore
they hatch. I be leery when I hears 'bout such buyin' 'n sellin' 'n
airplane orders.
I sees where a outfit called HIG bought yur outfit from that there
Raytheon Company what used to own it. I knows somethin' 'bout Raytheon.
It be a big deefense contractor. From what I read in the newpapers from
time to time, bein' one'a these deefense contractors comes 'bout as
close as can be to stealin' without worrin' much 'bout goin' to jail for
it. They sellin' some stuff to the government folks over yonder in
Washington for a lot more money than I can buy the same things at the
general store in town. Did y'ever see how much they chargin' for toilet
paper 'n such? Makes y'almost want to go back to tearin' pages from the
'ol Sears & Roebuck catalogue when y'heads off to the outhouse to do
yur business, don't y'know.
This here Raytheon be another deefense contractor where the bosses
gettin' rich fleecin' us poor tax payers out'a our hard earned cash with
lots'a help from 'em politicians what always got their hands out so's
their palms get greased. I been told the bosses at Raytheon wasn't too
keen on havin' yur big bosses share much money with pilots. They been
lookin' the other way while yur big bosses been takin' money away from
y'all by makin' y'pay more 'n more for yur family's health insurance. I
hear tell they didn't give y'all 'em raises they promised when they was
hopin' y'wouldn't vote in yur Union, 'n they made a bunch'a y'work
overtime this November without payin' y'for that, too.
I 'splained to my pilot friend he shouldn't be so sure things gonna get
better now that this here HIG be in charge. He says he doesn't know
what HIG stands for. Neither does I, but HIG sounds like "pig" 'n I
gots a few'a 'em dirty, smelly critters round my place. Pigs ain't
wantin' to share their foodstuffs with others much, neither. So, my pilot
friend cranked up my magic computer machine 'n we looked up this HIG
outfit on that there Internet place. We finds out HIG already owns two
other flyin' outfits. One goes by the name Amerijet 'n the other call
itself Gemini. We read what some flyers used to worked for these two
outfits had to say 'bout 'em. Mercy, we sure gots us a much different
picture 'bout 'em than their fine soundin' names let on, that be for sure.
The flyers writin' 'em messages sayin' these two outfits be scrapin'
the bottom'a the barrel by way they treatin' pilots. Some called 'em two
outfits "scumbags." Now, that kind'a language be a bit strong, so we
kept on readin' to see just why they felt that'a way. These flyers
sayin' the bosses runnin' these two outfits be even more unfriendly to
pilots 'n their unions than yur outfit's bosses be treatin' y'all. I hear
tell the HIG bosses not plannin' on dumpin' the big bosses who been so
badly runnin' yur outfit, so nothin' much likely to change for the
better unless y'all get the HIG bosses unnerstandin' y'ain't much
interested in continuin' bein' treated mean 'n unappreciated. Y'gots to send
'em that message loud 'n clear in the way that only pilots out workin'
can do.
I read where flyers at these two outfits owned by HIG done give up on
makin' things better for 'emselves. They be afraid to do their job the
way the Sheriff says they must 'cause their mean bosses be woodsheddin'
some 'n firin' others if'n they complainin' things be wrong or unsafe.
They fear for their jobs 'n not supportin' their union 'n runnin'
mighty scared. They look 'n act like mangy, whipped dogs. So, their
unions lackin' the muscle to beat the bosses at their own game.
Now, I knows there be some of y'all shakin' in yur boots anytime the
bosses be troublin' at'ya. I been told yur bosses been woodsheddin'
some'a y'all 'n even fired a small handful'a strong Union supporters for
reasons I hear tell ain't just. Such dirty tricks be 'spected, specially
when 'em nasty varmints from Ford & Harrison be 'round. Y'flyers be
fightin' a war over who rules the roost at yur outfit 'n yur big bosses
gonna try to stampede y'all away from the comin' harvest like a bunch'a
panicky cattle. They gonna try plantin' fear in yur hearts by pickin'
a small few'a y'off one by one as casualties of war. Y'just can't let
'em scare y'into not doin' what y'gots to do to win.

 

[SilverSurfer]

12/20/07 Ole Gardner

SLEIGH BELLS RINGIN'.
Happy holidays everyone. It be me, the ole Gardner writin' greetin's
to y'all at this festive time'a year. All the houses 'n buildin's 'n
trees in town look so pretty all decorated up with holly 'n garlands 'n
ornaments 'n colored lights. It be 'specially beautiful when fluffy
snowflakes come driftin' down upon 'em. All the little ones 'round these
parts wishin' for a white Christmas so's they can ride their new sleds
they just knows ole Santa bringin' 'em. I plannin' on hitchin' my
team'a horses up to my big red sleigh 'n givin' all the neighbor folks
rides, just like my dear ole Pappy used to do when I was a young'n. Golly!
The sounds'a those sleigh bells ringin' though the countryside as we
goes clippity cloppin' o'er hill 'n dale sure brings back precious
memories, don't y'know. So, I be glad helpin' out the new generation
gatherin' memories'a their own to treasure.
Like I says 'afore, I doesn't like the cold none too much. But I
keepin' myself warm when out drivin' my team by wearin' a big hat 'n
sheepskin coat 'n plenty'a heavy clothes over top my long johns. My misses 'n
I also be wrappin' ourselves up in the big thick blanket she done
sewed. A Mason jar full'a homebrew tucked by my side for sure be helpin'
stave off the cold as we go ridin' along! I hear tell pilots might not
always be warm when workin' in the cold, 'n I knows y'can't drink no
homebrew or other spirits for a while 'afore goin' to work. But, warm or
cold y'should be followin' all the flyin' rules y'knows 'bout so's
y'keepin' as safe as can be.
Y'might remember I done wrote y'all just a few weeks back 'bout
watchin' out for snow 'n ice 'n slippin'n slidin' when y'goes flyin' in
wintertime. My pilot friend says he done heard lots'a his fellow aviators
talkin' bout how helpful my writin's been talkin' 'bout things y'all
should mind when out workin'. It gonna be cold out a few more months 'n I
sure hopes y'also reads 'em winter DYKs I seen yur Union done posted on
its website. Y'might also take a gander at all 'em other DYKs posted
there talkin' 'bout lots'a other important things be keepin' y'safe 'n
out'a trouble. All 'em DYKs been wrote in that there "pilot speak"
y'flyers so keen on usin'.
There be lots'a other rules Sheriff says y'all should be followin' real
close. For instance, he says it be again' the law to be workin'
more'n a certain number hours each day. I hear tell yur bosses thinkin'
y'can be workin' extra-long days for 7 or 8 days at a stretch, with only a
few hours off in between. That seems a bit much to ask a body. But,
Sheriff says some'a his deputies says it be OK at certain times if'n
yur outfit can't control what's goin' on. He says flyers at the big
airlines can't be forced to work so many hours straight 'n gots to have at
least one day off out'a every 7 they workin'. Sort'a like in the Good
Book when the Almighty rested on the seventh day.
The rules for flyers at the big airlines says they needs more restin'
time between workin' times than y'all does. Now I knows I'm just a
simple country boy, but that doesn't make much sense 'n I talked to Sheriff
'bout it. I can't figure why pilots whats drivin' little jets has
rules makin' 'em work longer hours 'n more days with less sleep less in
between than those whats drivin' big jets. Pilots is humans, so I been
told, 'n humans is humans; work is work, rest is rest, 'n tired is
tired. Sheriff says he's thinkin' bout changin' 'em rules so's pilots
drivin' little jets has the same work 'n rest rules as those drivin' big
jets. But he ain't done it yet. Meanwhile, he says if'n y'gets too tired
workin' long schedules, 'specially when winter weather makes for
mighty long days, just tell the bosses you be "fatigued." I hear tell the
bosses unnerstand just what this here "fatigued" means 'n they be mighty
careful 'bout dealin' with it 'cause Sheriff watchin' real close.
When I was visitin' up north at the Cuyahoga County spread a couple
months back, I heard some bosses talkin' bout this here fatigue. They
says it be right for pilots to let 'em know they fatigued, just so long as
it be true 'n not some made up story to keep from workin'. That seems
fair 'n right to me. Sheriff says he be mighty interested if'n the
bosses give pilots a hard time for bein' too tired if'n caused by
schedules or weather or airplane traffic or other delays what makes days be
long. He calls it "pilot pushin'" if'n bosses be mean 'bout it. So,
if'n y'truly be too tired to work 'n a boss threatens to woodshed y'bout
it, let yur Union know as fast as y'can. 'Em Union Stewards, ready to
help y'file a report with the Sheriff 'n that there ASAP group, too,
if'n y'bein' "pushed."
Meanwhile, I gonna keep remindin' y'all to make sure yur flyin'
machines workin' just right. I been told flyin' 'round with broke parts be
again' the law 'n not too smart, especially in snow 'n ice. Write 'bout
broke parts in the 501 page book when 'n where you knowed they broke.
Workin' when y'sickly with coughs'n colds what comes out at wintertime
be a bad idea, too. The Sheriff says any pilot takin' certain
medicines sold at the general store in town what might slow him down some ain't
allowed to be flyin' no planes. Some drugs the Doc prescribes be even
worse.
Now, don't be puttin' yur crewmates, yur passengers 'n yur ownselves at
risk by doin' things y'knows y'shouldn't 'n y'doesn't have to do. The
bosses done showed plenty times they doesn't appreciate yur efforts
none, that be for sure. If'n y'workin' overtime, y'only helpin' 'em
cover up the mess they makin'a things. I hear tell the big bosses laughin'
at those fool pilots workin' extra hard to earn those tiny "bonuses"
they danglin' in front'a their noses. I asked my pilot friend if'n the
few dollars I been told the bosses offerin' really worth puttin' one's
honor down low to match theirs. He says anybody what thinks so be in
the wrong job, 'n I agrees with him. There be a name for people what
sells their souls for money, 'n folks like that ain't welcome 'round
these parts.
Well, sir, I be standin' outside my cabin takin' in the wonderous night
sky 'n breathin' in the crisp night air what's flavored with the
invitin' smell'a smoke from my fireplace. Makes a body happy just to be
alive. If'n I listens real close, I thinks I hears ole Santa's sleigh
bells way off yonder as he gettin' ready to come headin' this way.
Those'a y'out flyin' the night'a the 25th be lookin' for him 'n keepin'
clear'a his path. I been told he be on a priority flight plan 'cause he
gots lots'a miles to travel 'n so many homes to visit. We surely doesn't
want to disappoint the little ones by havin' that jolly ole elf
delayed. I hear tell he be carryin' along some special North Pole homebrew he
shares with his reindeer what helps 'em all finish their awesome
chores 'afore the sun comes up. I'd sure like to get me a Mason jar full'a
that brew someday. The recipe be even better, don't y'know!
Here's hopin' y'all has a wonderful holiday season 'n stays safe. The
families'a those pilots out workin' over the holidays be waitin' with
open arms for their speedy return. Don't be disapointin' 'em none.
Remember, if'n y'ain't a happy pilot, there be lots'a ways to let yur mean
bosses know 'bout it. The more'a y'out there lettin' 'em know how
unhappy y'be, the faster 'em bosses gonna wanna change their mean ways.
Also, if'n y'out workin' over the holidays, remember to spread the word
that the ole Gardner workin' the fields at Flight Options. Share my
writin's. The harvest—it be comin!
Happy holidays from yur friend,
THE OLE GARDNER
--
ARE YOU A HAPPY PILOT?
HAPPY PILOTS MAKE THE SYSTEM WORK BY BENDING THE RULES,
and
PILOTS CAN LET THE SYSTEM FAIL BY FOLLOWING THE RULES.
NO HEROES NEEDED, JUST DO YOUR JOB.
Y'ALL BE VERY CAREFUL OUT THERE!

 

[SilverSurfer]

12/29/07 Ole Gardner

DON'T BE NO FOOL!
Hi again everyone. It be yur friend, the Ole Gardner. Holiday season
be in full swing 'n so many friends 'n neighbors stoppin' by my cabin
to share the holiday cheer, eat some'a the misses yummy baked goodies
and sip a little homebrew from a Mason jar. My pilot friend come by 'n
done showed me a message the big boss at that there Flight Options
outfit y'all works for wrote just 'afore Christmas. The big boss be crowin'
bout how good was the bounty in 2007. After sayin' "Happy Holidays,"
he says it been so good a year that he be speedin' up payin' out the
tiny bonuses some'a y'all been bustin' yur butts for months tryin' to get
at. What fools some'a y'be.
My pilot friend 'n I be wonderin' if'n those fool pilots what be
gettin' a tiny bonus be thinkin' just how hard they workin' or what risks
they takin' or what rules they bendin' or breakin' to get at 'em.
Meanwhile, I hear tell yur Brothers 'n Sisters what flys for that NetJets
outfit down Columbus way be gettin' lots more money just workin'
normal-like for a few days than any'a the fools kissin' the bosses behinds at yur
outfit could make extra in a year, no matter how hard they tries.
I been told the reason the NetJets pilots be gettin' so much better
wages is 'cause they supports their Union 'n gots 'emselves a good
contract what says the big bosses done gots to share more'a the bounty with
'em. And, it don't make no nevermind if'n the NetJets bosses think the
bounty for the year be good 'nough or not, they gots to pay their flyers
good wages and benefits anyways. My pilot friend says NetJets pilots
doesn't pay for their families' health insurance, neither. Their big
bosses pays for it all.
Now, I knows I'm just a simple country boy, but even I can see
somethin's wrong with this here picture. The NetJets pilots gots a contract
what makes their big bosses share the harvest with 'em. But y'Flight
Options pilots ain't yet gots a contract, so yur big bosses thinks it be
OK that y'all be at the bottom rung'a the pay ladder, 'n y'works 12 more
days each year than a NetJets pilot works for his much greater pay, 'n
y'charged extra high costs for yur health insurance, 'n y'doesn't get
much'a say when y'goes on vacation, 'n if'n y'does, y'ain't left with
any sickly time off to use when needed.
Yur big bosses be smart enough to know y'all ain't gonna stand for such
differences much longer. So, they come up with their bonus program
that a few'a y'all been foolish 'nough to swallow hook line 'n sinker.
They decided on payin' the bonus early tryin' to keep the fools among
y'all appreciatin' the bosses 'n workin' extra hard to please 'em 'n
thinkin' y'doesn't need a Union or a contract. I remember years back when
P.T. Barnum brought that there big circus tent to town with all the
clowns 'n wild animals 'n midway games. He said there be a sucker born
every minute. I'll just betch'a he'd recognize foolish bonus chasin'
pilots as first-rate suckers, don't y'know!
I stopped by the First National Bank in town the other day 'n my banker
friend done told me the big bosses runnin' yur outfit usually collect
a year-end bonus'a their own. But, different from the few measly
dollars they be handin' out to the fools among y'all, they usually collect a
real bonus what often doubles their yearly income, or more. My banker
friend says it doesn't make no nevermind whether the outfit had a
bountiful year or not, the big bosses line up at the trough like the hogs
they be and get paid their bonuses anyways. No wonder the big boss be
sayin' "Happy Holidays" at the start'a his fool's bonus message. It
sure be "happy" for him 'n his "team," but not too "happy" for y'all 'n
yur "team."
Now it seems to me that y'all should be askin' the bosses some
questions. They knows which pilots be workin' extra hard to get their fool's
bonus and how much they be gettin' paid. I thinks I'd be askin' the
bosses how much'a bonus they be gettin' paid and what they done did to
deserve it. My banker friend says the bosses ain't gonna answer that
question none cause they knows just how mad y'all be if'n y'finds out. He
says flyin' outfits owned by public folks what buys and sells stock
gots to let folks know how much'a bonus bein' paid to the big bosses.
But, yur outfit be owned by a private group'a folks 'n they gonna keep the
bosses' bonuses secret.
Y'better not depend on the bosses doin' any real sharin'. Take it from
me, thay ain't gonna do it if'n y'doesn't have yurselves a contract
what says they must. If'n y'wants real sharin', y'gots to strongly
support yur Union and help it work to get y'all a contract like the NetJets
pilots done got. My pilot friend says if'n those pilots what chasin'
the fool's bonus would take time to read the NetJets contract, they'd
surely see their ain't no way the fool's bonus gonna ever match that
kind'a bounty. He says any fool could figure out that workin' extra hard
for yur outfit by flyin' overtime or workin' when sick, hungry or tired,
or flyin' broke machines, or bendin' the rules only makin' the bosses
rich. That be why they ridin' yur backs so hard.
Y'know, there be all kinds'a lists goin' 'round this time'a year. Me
'n my family made our Christmas lists hopin' ole Santa favor us with
gifts. I hear tell he keeps a list'a his own 'bout who been naughty 'n
who been nice so's he knows who to reward. Me 'n mine must'a been
'specially nice, 'cause we all done pretty good, I be happy to say. I also
wrote up a New Year's resolutions list so's I can do my part to live a
happy life 'n help make this ole world a better place this comin' year.
Helpin' the Flight Options pilots bring in a bountiful harvest be
right top that there list, don't y'know. So's I been lookin' 'round for
special lists y'all could use when y'goes to work.
I already knowed the bosses gives y'lists to follow for checkin' out
yur little jets. I been told there be other checkin' lists been posted
on that there Internet at a place called " Flightinfo.com" what lets on
'bout things yur bosses hopin' y'ain't lookin' at when inspectin' yur
machines. I also been readin' some rules the Sheriff done wrote for
pilots to follow or else they gets in a heap'a trouble. I hear tell yur
bosses done wrote some'a their own rulebooks, too. Mercy, all these
rules be so tangled up 'n hard to unnerstand 'cause they wrote in lawyer 'n
pilot speak. I sure be glad all I drives is a tractor, 'cause tractor
rules be so simple even this ole country boy can follow 'em.
My pilot friend says, just like makin' homebrew in the still out back'a
my cabin, most'a these double-talkin' rules can be boiled down to
their spirit. He says there be 12 important things he pledged to be doin'
stayin' healthy 'n safe at work that he done wrote down. He told me
when he gets back home from his next trip on the road he be bringin' his
list by my cabin so's I can see it. If'n it be as good as he says, I
be sharin' it with y'all next time I writes.
Well, friends, I be wishin' y'all Happy New Year. But, different from
yur big boss, I ain't in line for no big bonus bein' paid outta the
sweat 'n hard work 'n sacrifices by my workers. My misses 'n I ain't got
much, but we always share with those what needs it 'n those what helps
me with my chores. If'n I was yur big boss, I sure be sharin' lots
more'a the bounty with the folks what did the real work to make it happen.
Don't be no fool. The fact the big boss be takin' from y'without any
real sharin' and ain't embarrassed none 'bout doin' it be sayin' all
y'gots to know what he thinks 'bout y'all. He ain't yur friend, that be
for sure! I be yur true friend 'n I workin' the fields at Flight
Options. The harvest—it be comin'.
Happy New Year,
THE OLE GARDNER

--
ARE YOU A HAPPY PILOT?
HAPPY PILOTS MAKE THE SYSTEM WORK BY BENDING THE RULES,
and
PILOTS CAN LET THE SYSTEM FAIL BY FOLLOWING THE RULES.
NO HEROES NEEDED, JUST DO YOUR JOB.
Y'ALL BE VERY CAREFUL OUT THERE!

 

[SilverSurfer]

1/4/08 Ole Gardner's

1/4/09 Page 1


IT BE A NEW YEAR!
It be 2008 'n the ole Gardner's still here. Can y'believe it? This
ole codger done made it through 'nother year! I thinks my homebrew be
good medicine 'n has lots to do with my good health, but Doc says he
ain't so sure 'bout that. I sure sipped more'n my share'a it when the New
Year come 'round, let me tell ya. My, oh my, how time flies when
y'havin' fun. But, I hear tell it ain't much fun for y'all at this here
Flight Options outfit 'n y'ain't a bunch a happy campers. The pilot what
now lives 'round these parts says most'a y'all were on the road away
from home over the holidays. I knowed he be gone most'a the time.
Many'a y'didn't get to see the wonder in the sparklin' faces'a yur little
ones when they woke early Christmas morn 'n saw what ole Santa done
brought 'em. What a shame to miss such magical moments 'cause yur mean
bosses done sent y'away.
My pilot friend says it be normal for some crews bein' away from home
at holiday time 'cause flyin' rich folks 'round be a "24/7/365" job. I
writes real good, but I ain't never been none too smart at 'rithmetic,
so's I asks him what 'em numbers mean. He says they sayin' this kind'a
flyin' business goes on every day'a the year, all day long, holidays
or not. But, he says yur mean bosses kept most'a y'all away from home
just for spite. That be wrong, if'n y'askin' me.
While some'a y'all were surely needed to go out flyin', I hear tell way
too many'a y'spent the holidays rottin' away in grimy hotels or
sittin' 'round flyin' fields with nothin' to do cause yur machines be broke
with no one 'round to fix 'em, or there be no rich folks wantin' to go
flyin' somewhere. All y'could think 'bout was how sad you 'n yur
families was 'cause y'gone. Meanwhile, the bosses be with their families 'n
havin' fun. If'n y'on the same "team" with 'em, like they says you is,
that just doesn't seem right, does it? If'n y'had a contract, things
sure be different.
Last time I writes I told y'all 'bout the New Year's resolution
list'a12 important things my pilot friend pledged he be doin' stayin' healthy
'n safe at work. He says he got the idea after a NetJets pilot he
knows done showed him "The Pledge" list they once used when their bosses
were treatin' 'em mean 'afore their Union got 'em a contract. He come by
my cabin the other day 'n read me his list, which he calls the "Dirty
Dozen." Best I remembers, this be what he says 'bout it:
1) He ain't ignorin' broke parts on his flyin' machine 'n he always
writes in the 501 page book 'bout findin' broke parts when 'n where they
be found broke.
He says it makes no nevermind if'n his crewmate thinks parts ain't
broke too bad. Broke is broke! He doesn't wait to tell the bosses 'bout
broke parts or carry 'em till it be more convenient for the bosses to
get 'em fixed. He talks lots with the folks what's supposed to fix 'em
up, 'specially when they says they can't find broke parts on the ground
what wasn't workin' when the plane be flyin' along. He says some'a
these folks writes tall tales in the 501 page book 'bout fixin' things
when they really doesn't. He calls such tomfoolery "pencil whippin'."
I'll tell y'truly—'em kind'a dishonest folks needs a good whippin'a their
own out back the woodshed. The pilot says if'n he finds "pencil
whippin'," he writes 'bout it to that there ASAP 'n lets yur Union know 'n
gives the Sheriff a call on his "hotline."
2) He ain't flyin' tired 'n ain't flyin' with no crewmate what's
tired, neither, even if'n that crewmate wants to keep on flyin'.
He lets the bosses know if'n he be tired or "fatigued," so the bosses
can get him a place to bed down to rest some, if'n he be on the road, or
find someone else to go flyin', if'n he be home.
3) He ain't answerin' the phone or that there Blackberry gadget he
carries when he's not on duty 'n supposed to be restin' between flights or
on days off.
He says if'n the bosses wants to be talkin' at him, they gots to do it
when he be workin', not when he restin' or on days off. If'n they
barge into his rest, he lets 'em know if'n he now be fatigued 'n too tired
to go flyin' until a later time.
4) He ain't flyin' sickly 'n ain't flyin' with no crewmate what's
feelin' sickly, neither, even if'n that crewmate wants to go flyin'.
He says it be extra hard flyin' yur best if'n y'sickly, 'n a pilot
what's sickly can make other folks ridin' on these little jets sickly, too.
I hear tell the bosses doesn't give y'much time off if'n y'sickly,
hopin' y'come flyin' when y'shouldn't. But, y'can't let 'em do y'like
that. Y'gots to stay home if'n y'sickly, even if'n y'ain't gonna get
paid none. Sheriff says if'n y'takin' certain kinds'a snake oil
medicines, y'can't go flyin', neither, even if'n it makes y'feel better. I been
told once y'gets a contract, y'be gettin' much better paid time off
if'n y'sickly, 'n real vacations when y'wants 'em, too.
5) He ain't lettin' the bosses bully him into breakin' the rules or
flyin' when he shouldn't or not doin' his job right.
He says it be his "ethics" as a professional pilot to do his job right.
He calls the bosses' bullyin' ways "pilot pushin'," 'n he tellin'
ASAP 'n yur Union 'n callin' Sheriff's "hotline" if'n it happens. He says
he always followin' the rules 'n works strickly by the book. He says
some flyers at yur outfit breakin' rules cause they scared'a the bosses
or just wantin' to get a few extra dollars out'a the bosses' fool's
bonus programs, like that there Judas in the Good Book once done for a
few pieces'a silver. He doesn't cotton much with folks what's so
cowardly 'n dishonorable 'n doesn't ever sit a meal or share any homebrew with
'em kind on the road, neither.
6) He always talkin' with his crewmate 'bout what they gonna be doin'
with the flyin' machine 'afore beginnin' to taxi.
Y'know, I always did wonder why movin' a plane on the ground be called
"taxi." I went to the big city once 'n saw lots'a yellow taxis, but
they doesn't look like planes movin' 'round to me. Lots'a things 'bout
this flyin' business sure gots me stumped! Anyways, the pilot says if'n
he 'n his crewmate ain't yet done all their chores, they takes as long
as need be gettin' things done just right. They doesn't rush 'n
doesn't go flyin' till they gets 'em all done the way they should be.
7) He always treatin' other workers with courtesy 'n doesn't lose his
temper or use bad language when speakin' with 'em.
He says there be workers called dispatchers, schedulers, mechanics,
owner representatives 'n such, 'n the bosses treatin' most'a 'em mean,
too. He says he ain't doin' other folks jobs for 'em none, 'specially
when they doin' it wrong'n messin' things up. He let's these folks do
their job their own way, even if'n it costs the bosses extra money, so
long as it be safe 'n legal. It be their job, not his, 'n they gots to
figure out by their ownselves how to fix it if'n they mess up.
8) He ain't helpin' the bosses by flyin' overtime or doin' no extra
chores when they be treatin' him so mean 'n not even payin' him nearly
'nough wages for workin' regular time.
He knows lots'a fellow pilots been leavin' yur outfit 'n the bosses
ain't got 'nough flyers 'round to do all the work without overtime. I
hear tell they ain't hirin' the new pilots they needin' cause experienced
folks talkin' 'bout how bad a place to work this Flight Options outfit
be, 'specially compared to that there NetJets outfit where pilots done
reaped such a bountiful harvest.
9) He ain't tellin' any pilots he knows what wants to drive little
jets that yur outfit be a good place to work till the big bosses show
proper respect 'n worry for pilots 'n their families.
He doesn't want his friends 'n neighbors bein' treated badly like he
bein' treated. He ain't helpin' yur outfit findin' new pilots or new
customers to come flyin', neither, till the big bosses writes up a good
contract with yur Union sayin' they gonna change their mean ways 'n begin
payin' fair wages 'n benefits 'n such, like the NetJets pilots done
got with their new contract.
10) He ain't lookin' at becomin' a boss hisself 'n ridin' roughshod or
rattin' on his Union Brothers 'n Sisters none, neither.
He says he ain't gonna wallow in the bosses' dung heap along side 'em
mean folks what's already in there. He says good Union members help
protect their comrades-in-arms, not hurt 'em. The bosses ain't his
friends, 'n he ain't lookin' to make 'em so by lickin' their boots, none.
11) He always wantin' to be safe 'n 'spects other workers 'n folks what
sells or buys stuff from yur outfit to be safe 'n always doin' what's
right 'n followin' all the rules.
He knows one bad apple can surely spoil the barrel for all the good
folks in this flyin' business if'n it causes an accident where someone get
'emselves badly hurt or worse.
12) He always supportin' his Union 'n payin' his dues on time.
He knows without support 'n money to do things what needs doin', the
harvest be late comin', if'n it comes at all. He wants the Union stayin'
'round watchin' out for him 'n his family.

 

[SilverSurfer]

1/4/08 Ole Gardner's

Page 2 1/4/08 Ole Gardner



Well, sir, that be my pilot friend's New Year's list. He says he's
always mindful'a this list when rich folks what's payin' big bucks to ride
on his little jet be 'round, 'cause their lives be in his hands. They
deserve the best 'n safest flyin' he can give 'em, so he follows all
the rules exactly 'n doesn't cut no corners just to help the bosses out.
Y'know, I read his list over 'n over 'n the things it says seems so
simple 'n smart. In fact, they be so right I thinks my pilot friend be
wrong callin' 'em the "Dirty Dozen." There be nothin' dirty 'bout
what's on his list. So, I done renamed his list the "Trusty Twelve," or
the "Ts," for short, 'n I be tellin' him so next time I sees him.
Yes, sir, it be the New Year! I knows the checkered fields below look
so cold 'n barren when y'all sees 'em from the sky as y'flys over this
winter. My fields look all quiet when I sees 'em through my cabin's
frosty windows. But, shortly after snows begin meltin', the fields be
plowed 'n seeds be planted 'n crops be comin' up soon 'nough. The
growin' season be only a few short months away.
Still, there be lots'a things we country folks be doin' this winter
while waitin'. Most important, we lookin' real close at our machines 'n
makin' sure they fixed 'n runnin' good for when we needs 'em. Winter be
a 'specially good time to get all broke parts fixed. Don't forget,
Sheriff says y'gots to write 'bout broke parts on yur flyin' machines in
the 501 page book when 'n where y'finds 'em broke—no ifs, ands or buts,
don't y'know. If'n y'gets sickly with a cold, or the flu, or some
other crud 'n ain't at yur best, he says it be right to let the bosses
know y'stayin' put till y'feelin' better. Winter just got started, so be
extra careful when ice 'n snow be 'round. 'Specially don't be workin'
no overtime when y'needn't. If'n y'ain't a happy 'n healthy pilot,
y'gots to for sure let yur mean bosses know y'ain't gonna do more'n the
bare minimum required.
Here's wishin' y'the best in the comin' year. I knows there be bounty
just waitin' for y'all. But there be much to do 'afore the harvest
comes in. I be here to help y'all gettin' it done. Yur Union also here
to help, but it needs yur support 'n dues paid on time to do its job,
don't y'know. I knows it be hard stayin' patient, 'specially when yur
bosses be so mean. But, have faith in knowin' that gonna change when
y'has a contract. Just like my pilot friend says he done, y'should pledge
'n make resolutions to follow that there list'a "Ts" to the "T," 'n
help others pledge 'bout followin' it, too. I hear tell followin' the
list'a "Ts" be the proven way to get the bosses' to 'ventually change
their mean ways. It worked at NetJets! Remember to tell yur friends 'n
neighbors the ole Gardner workin' the fields at Flight Options 'n share
my writin's with 'em. The harvest—it be comin'.
Happy New Year from yur true friend,
THE OLE GARDNER

--
ARE YOU A HAPPY PILOT?
HAPPY PILOTS MAKE THE SYSTEM WORK BY BENDING THE RULES,
and
PILOTS CAN LET THE SYSTEM FAIL BY FOLLOWING THE RULES.
NO HEROES NEEDED, JUST DO YOUR JOB.
Y'ALL BE VERY CAREFUL OUT THERE!