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My favorate thing to say on the radio
- Thread starter Vardog
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Welcome to Flightinfo.com
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Typhoon1244
Member in Good Standing
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 3,078
StarChecker
Warp this...
- Joined
- Apr 16, 2002
- Posts
- 481
Going into TEB one very busy morning I heard a foreign pilot in a Gulfstream get the NY treatment. After he had missed several radio calls...
ATC: Gulfstream 98B, turn left heading 180
No reponse
ATC: Gulfstream 98B turn left heading 180 ( a little louder and more irritated)
98B: ummmm, say again?
ATC: 98B, turn left....left turn heading 180....put the little compass on the big S.
Welcome to NY....
ATC: Gulfstream 98B, turn left heading 180
No reponse
ATC: Gulfstream 98B turn left heading 180 ( a little louder and more irritated)
98B: ummmm, say again?
ATC: 98B, turn left....left turn heading 180....put the little compass on the big S.
Welcome to NY....
Flyingdutchman
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 1,571
A flight engineer on his first month flying the line was persuaded that all the stories he heard about pilots and stewardesses were true and that the term layover really meant what he thought it meant.
Returning from one layover he heard the captain tell the first officer: ”Wow! That Mary is some girl! I was in my bedroom when the phone rang. It was Mary who said she couldn’t open her suitcase and could I help? So I went down, opened the suitcase and she handed me a drink. Then she excused herself and went to the bathroom. When she came out she hadn’t a stitch on. What a night!”
A few days later the same crew repeated the flight sequence and on the return the engineer overheard the first officer telling the captain: ”You were quite right about Mary. It happened to me last night” He proceeded to recite the same sequence of events.
The engineer was intrigued and excited by all this and when the same crew repeated the flight sequence he was delighted when the telephone rang and a voice said:”Oh, I can’t get my suitcase open. Would you be kind enough to come to my room to help me?”
It was Mary and the engineer beat the world record for sprint to her room. In no time at all he had the case open and the grateful Mary handed him a Scotch. She then excused herself and went into the bathroom. The engineer was not the sort of man to waste time. He immediately undressed and got into bed. Sure enough, about ten minutes later the bathroom door opened and Mary came out.
She was fully clothed and followed by the rest of the crew.
------------------------------
''A wide body Airplane is more attractive than a wide body woman is''
G'day!
Returning from one layover he heard the captain tell the first officer: ”Wow! That Mary is some girl! I was in my bedroom when the phone rang. It was Mary who said she couldn’t open her suitcase and could I help? So I went down, opened the suitcase and she handed me a drink. Then she excused herself and went to the bathroom. When she came out she hadn’t a stitch on. What a night!”
A few days later the same crew repeated the flight sequence and on the return the engineer overheard the first officer telling the captain: ”You were quite right about Mary. It happened to me last night” He proceeded to recite the same sequence of events.
The engineer was intrigued and excited by all this and when the same crew repeated the flight sequence he was delighted when the telephone rang and a voice said:”Oh, I can’t get my suitcase open. Would you be kind enough to come to my room to help me?”
It was Mary and the engineer beat the world record for sprint to her room. In no time at all he had the case open and the grateful Mary handed him a Scotch. She then excused herself and went into the bathroom. The engineer was not the sort of man to waste time. He immediately undressed and got into bed. Sure enough, about ten minutes later the bathroom door opened and Mary came out.
She was fully clothed and followed by the rest of the crew.
------------------------------
''A wide body Airplane is more attractive than a wide body woman is''
G'day!
Flyingdutchman
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 1,571
Controller to aircraft that just landed: "Bear right, next intersection"
Pilot: "Roger, we have him in sight"
Or this one,
A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot, but she keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said:
"Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affa
or,
The scene is a newspaper office. The editor says to one of his reporters: There's a fire raging out of control west of town and I want you to get out there fast. And above all, get some good shots. If that means you have to hire an airplane, just do it. Don't worry about the expense.
So, the reporter calls the local FBO and orders a plane. He rushes out to the airport, spots a small aircraft with a young pilot in it, pulls open the door, jumps in and says to the pilot: Let's go, take off. As directed, the pilot takes off, gets up to altitude, and the reporter then tells him, "See that fire raging to the west? I want you to fly over that and get down as close as you can."
Incredulous, the pilot says, "You want me to fly over that fire?"
"Sure," the reporter says, "I am a photojournalist and that's why I am here--to take dramatic shots of the fire!"
The pilot looks over with a quizzical look on his face and says, "You're not the flight instructor?"
---
And this one,
KLM1930: Frankfurt del. goodmorning. KLM1930 at blabla with information Delta, request IFR to Amsterdam..
FRA: ehhh KLM sorry bud you cane aspect your clearence in about 2 hours..
KLM1930: In that case, cancel the goodmorning!
------
''An Airplane doesn't care where you were last night!''
G'day!
Pilot: "Roger, we have him in sight"
Or this one,
A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot, but she keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said:
"Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affa
or,
The scene is a newspaper office. The editor says to one of his reporters: There's a fire raging out of control west of town and I want you to get out there fast. And above all, get some good shots. If that means you have to hire an airplane, just do it. Don't worry about the expense.
So, the reporter calls the local FBO and orders a plane. He rushes out to the airport, spots a small aircraft with a young pilot in it, pulls open the door, jumps in and says to the pilot: Let's go, take off. As directed, the pilot takes off, gets up to altitude, and the reporter then tells him, "See that fire raging to the west? I want you to fly over that and get down as close as you can."
Incredulous, the pilot says, "You want me to fly over that fire?"
"Sure," the reporter says, "I am a photojournalist and that's why I am here--to take dramatic shots of the fire!"
The pilot looks over with a quizzical look on his face and says, "You're not the flight instructor?"
---
And this one,
KLM1930: Frankfurt del. goodmorning. KLM1930 at blabla with information Delta, request IFR to Amsterdam..
FRA: ehhh KLM sorry bud you cane aspect your clearence in about 2 hours..
KLM1930: In that case, cancel the goodmorning!
------
''An Airplane doesn't care where you were last night!''
G'day!
Smoking Man
High Speed Aluminum
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2001
- Posts
- 561
Just about every conversation between TACA and Miami:
Miami gnd: TACA 250, taxi to and hold short of 9L. Monitor tower on xxx.xx.
TACA: TACA, roger
Miami: TACA, I need a readback please.
TACA: uhhhhh, TACA roger
Miami: TACA, we're not getting anywhere whithout you giving me a readback!
TACA: uhhhh, ummmm, uhhhhh, TACA roger
This usually goes on for several minutes. I always have to switch over to the other freq before I hear how it ends.
Miami gnd: TACA 250, taxi to and hold short of 9L. Monitor tower on xxx.xx.
TACA: TACA, roger
Miami: TACA, I need a readback please.
TACA: uhhhhh, TACA roger
Miami: TACA, we're not getting anywhere whithout you giving me a readback!
TACA: uhhhh, ummmm, uhhhhh, TACA roger
This usually goes on for several minutes. I always have to switch over to the other freq before I hear how it ends.
Flymach2
Member
- Joined
- Aug 17, 2002
- Posts
- 238
One day....
Excerpt from a biography of an SR-71 pilot....
Blackbird 56: "L.A. Center, Blackbird 56 request clearance to FL600."
L.A. Center: "Ummm......Blackbird 56, clearance to FL600 approved, but how do you plan on getting up to that altitude?"
Blackbird 56: "Actually, Sir, we're planning on descending down to it."
Excerpt from a biography of an SR-71 pilot....
Blackbird 56: "L.A. Center, Blackbird 56 request clearance to FL600."
L.A. Center: "Ummm......Blackbird 56, clearance to FL600 approved, but how do you plan on getting up to that altitude?"
Blackbird 56: "Actually, Sir, we're planning on descending down to it."
Typhoon1244
Member in Good Standing
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 3,078
jsoceanlord
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2001
- Posts
- 367
Typhoon1244
Member in Good Standing
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
- Posts
- 3,078
There was this one approach controller in Melbourne, Florida...I'm headed that way close to 11:00 p.m. on a Sunday night...
Me: "Approach, Cherokee Three-One-Victor, three thousand with Kilo."
MLB Approach: "Three-One-Victor, cleared for the visual, cleared to land, taxi to the ramp with me, g'night."
Me: "Approach, Cherokee Three-One-Victor, three thousand with Kilo."
MLB Approach: "Three-One-Victor, cleared for the visual, cleared to land, taxi to the ramp with me, g'night."
From the urban legend archives:
Atlanta Center (broadcasting VHF and UHF): "Delta 326, how's your ride today at 310?"
Eagle 1, an F-15 (UHF only): "Atlanta center, Eagle 1, tell Delta 326 the ride's just fine at 450."
Atlanta Center: "Delta 326, Eagle 1 advises that the ride is fine at 450."
Atlanta Center: "(pause) ....Delta 326, go ahead......(pause)..............Roger Delta 326. Eagle 1, Delta 326 wants to know how the pay is at 450."
From my airplane: T-38 student instrument sortie, my student's under the "bag" checking in for a PAR.
Very sexy sounding female controller: "Talon 25, this is your student controller, how do you hear me?"
my Rico Suave student: "Student controller, this is your student pilot. You sound just fine, just fine."
[He then flew a crappy PAR and tried to blame it on being "distracted." Uh huh.]
Atlanta Center (broadcasting VHF and UHF): "Delta 326, how's your ride today at 310?"
Eagle 1, an F-15 (UHF only): "Atlanta center, Eagle 1, tell Delta 326 the ride's just fine at 450."
Atlanta Center: "Delta 326, Eagle 1 advises that the ride is fine at 450."
Atlanta Center: "(pause) ....Delta 326, go ahead......(pause)..............Roger Delta 326. Eagle 1, Delta 326 wants to know how the pay is at 450."
From my airplane: T-38 student instrument sortie, my student's under the "bag" checking in for a PAR.
Very sexy sounding female controller: "Talon 25, this is your student controller, how do you hear me?"
my Rico Suave student: "Student controller, this is your student pilot. You sound just fine, just fine."
[He then flew a crappy PAR and tried to blame it on being "distracted." Uh huh.]
Lindy
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2001
- Posts
- 250
CVG??
No one mentioned the controllers out of CVG -- ON THE BACKSIDE OF THE CLOCK. Great group to work with!!
Additionally, I even know who you are talking about at TOL....used to fly w/ many guys who would just listen during that ride back home.
And anyone know the "Atis Nazi" out of Chicago Approach? You know the one.....clear & a million...atis changes 1 minute ago and everyone checking in has information Romeo. He requires that you obtain Sierra and call him back!!
The other day Chicago approach were having fun with us:
ATC: [callsign] you guys late? (We flew an extra segment and came in 4 hours later than normal -- making it DAY)
US: No. Flew an extra segment.
ATC: MDW, 11 O'clock, 9 miles
US: Looking
ATC: Look for the pavement, not the black area surrounded by lights.
(Those of you flying exclusively on the backside will see the humor.....)
No one mentioned the controllers out of CVG -- ON THE BACKSIDE OF THE CLOCK. Great group to work with!!
Additionally, I even know who you are talking about at TOL....used to fly w/ many guys who would just listen during that ride back home.
And anyone know the "Atis Nazi" out of Chicago Approach? You know the one.....clear & a million...atis changes 1 minute ago and everyone checking in has information Romeo. He requires that you obtain Sierra and call him back!!
The other day Chicago approach were having fun with us:
ATC: [callsign] you guys late? (We flew an extra segment and came in 4 hours later than normal -- making it DAY)
US: No. Flew an extra segment.
ATC: MDW, 11 O'clock, 9 miles
US: Looking
ATC: Look for the pavement, not the black area surrounded by lights.
(Those of you flying exclusively on the backside will see the humor.....)
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