My favorate thing to say on the radio

[TXCAP4228]

Transponders

I heard ATC ask a guy to check his transponder and he said "Roge, we'll drop in a few quarters and recycle."

 

[Typhoon1244]

Ground control: "[loud squeal and gibberish]"

Me: "Blocked."

Ground control: "[loud squeal and more gibberish]"

Me: "Blocked."

Ground controller: "Look, you guys need to shut your mouths and let me talk or nobody's getting out of here!"

Me: "Blocked."

 

[Ravengirl]

Jim...

Depends on how hard you try, of course.

Stephanie

 

[StarChecker]

Going into TEB one very busy morning I heard a foreign pilot in a Gulfstream get the NY treatment. After he had missed several radio calls...

ATC: Gulfstream 98B, turn left heading 180

No reponse

ATC: Gulfstream 98B turn left heading 180 ( a little louder and more irritated)

98B: ummmm, say again?

ATC: 98B, turn left....left turn heading 180....put the little compass on the big S.

Welcome to NY....

 

[hyper]

Sounds like an exchange between MIA and Latin Air Peru. Every night!

 

[Flyingdutchman]

A flight engineer on his first month flying the line was persuaded that all the stories he heard about pilots and stewardesses were true and that the term layover really meant what he thought it meant.
Returning from one layover he heard the captain tell the first officer: ”Wow! That Mary is some girl! I was in my bedroom when the phone rang. It was Mary who said she couldn’t open her suitcase and could I help? So I went down, opened the suitcase and she handed me a drink. Then she excused herself and went to the bathroom. When she came out she hadn’t a stitch on. What a night!”
A few days later the same crew repeated the flight sequence and on the return the engineer overheard the first officer telling the captain: ”You were quite right about Mary. It happened to me last night” He proceeded to recite the same sequence of events.
The engineer was intrigued and excited by all this and when the same crew repeated the flight sequence he was delighted when the telephone rang and a voice said:”Oh, I can’t get my suitcase open. Would you be kind enough to come to my room to help me?”
It was Mary and the engineer beat the world record for sprint to her room. In no time at all he had the case open and the grateful Mary handed him a Scotch. She then excused herself and went into the bathroom. The engineer was not the sort of man to waste time. He immediately undressed and got into bed. Sure enough, about ten minutes later the bathroom door opened and Mary came out.
She was fully clothed and followed by the rest of the crew.

------------------------------
''A wide body Airplane is more attractive than a wide body woman is''

G'day!

 

[Flyingdutchman]

Controller to aircraft that just landed: "Bear right, next intersection"

Pilot: "Roger, we have him in sight"

Or this one,

A husband suspects his wife is having an affair with a pilot, but she keeps denying it--until finally the husband just knew when his wife said:

"Honey, I've told you once, I've told you twice, I've told you niner thousand times, negative on the affa

or,

The scene is a newspaper office. The editor says to one of his reporters: There's a fire raging out of control west of town and I want you to get out there fast. And above all, get some good shots. If that means you have to hire an airplane, just do it. Don't worry about the expense.

So, the reporter calls the local FBO and orders a plane. He rushes out to the airport, spots a small aircraft with a young pilot in it, pulls open the door, jumps in and says to the pilot: Let's go, take off. As directed, the pilot takes off, gets up to altitude, and the reporter then tells him, "See that fire raging to the west? I want you to fly over that and get down as close as you can."

Incredulous, the pilot says, "You want me to fly over that fire?"

"Sure," the reporter says, "I am a photojournalist and that's why I am here--to take dramatic shots of the fire!"

The pilot looks over with a quizzical look on his face and says, "You're not the flight instructor?"
---

And this one,

KLM1930: Frankfurt del. goodmorning. KLM1930 at blabla with information Delta, request IFR to Amsterdam..

FRA: ehhh KLM sorry bud you cane aspect your clearence in about 2 hours..

KLM1930: In that case, cancel the goodmorning!

------

''An Airplane doesn't care where you were last night!''

G'day!

 

[Smoking Man]

We had a femal ATC as a pax from CYOW, she was on her way back home from Jamaica, tan and way hoTT, notice the two TT's.We were able to get direct to the outer marker when we said she was onboard.



=0

 

[PCL_128]

Just about every conversation between TACA and Miami:

Miami gnd: TACA 250, taxi to and hold short of 9L. Monitor tower on xxx.xx.

TACA: TACA, roger

Miami: TACA, I need a readback please.

TACA: uhhhhh, TACA roger

Miami: TACA, we're not getting anywhere whithout you giving me a readback!

TACA: uhhhh, ummmm, uhhhhh, TACA roger

This usually goes on for several minutes. I always have to switch over to the other freq before I hear how it ends.

 

[AVI8V1]

If the ATIS code is Juliet or Sierra sometimes its super duper cool to call the tower when you're eight miles out.

"XX Tower, Cessna 123 eight out juliet."

 

[Flymach2]

One day....

Excerpt from a biography of an SR-71 pilot....

Blackbird 56: "L.A. Center, Blackbird 56 request clearance to FL600."

L.A. Center: "Ummm......Blackbird 56, clearance to FL600 approved, but how do you plan on getting up to that altitude?"

Blackbird 56: "Actually, Sir, we're planning on descending down to it."

 

[Beechnut]

Attention...

This is not BEECHNUT.

And BEECHNUT....you should learn to sign out when using a public computer. Haven't you learned this lesson by reading what's posted on this board????

 

[Typhoon1244]

Originally posted by Beechnut
Attention...This is not BEECHNUT. ...you should learn to sign out when using a public computer.

Oh jeez! Not again!

 

[Beechnut]

Doh! I thought I did log off.

What are you talking about "again"?


S.

You must be at the Amerisuites.

 

[RX7 PILOT]

Toledo approach...late night...y'all know who I'm talkin' 'bout.

Holy Toledo!

YES